As it’s almost Valentines Day I thought I’d take the chance to really talk about my relationship. After four (and almost a half) years together, I am absolutely convinced that Adam is the man I will grow old with. He is it for me. I’m afraid this post might get ridiculously soppy. Sorry. (
I met Adam online, on a free dating website, among all the weirdos and unsolicited dick pics. He was good looking and local, so I automatically thought why are you suggesting we are matches, he is too good looking for me. I think what drew me in to his profile was his enjoyment of video games, his very handsome face and, er, his height. Why this was a factor I don’t really know because I am very short. Anyway, he looked nice and sounded nice. I can’t remember which of us sent a message first but we began chatting online and quickly exchanged phone numbers. There was only one thing that scared me, a little bit. I was an almost 24 year old single mother of a two year old, and Adam was 21, free and single of commitments. I wanted a long lasting relationship, I was worried having a child would completely put him off and I didn’t want to push a child on someone so young.
During our time together I have made myself look and sound an absolute idiot time and time again. Luckily, this has made him laugh, and hopefully, made him consider me as endearing rather than a fool. During our early text messages I got the days of the week wrong. Apparently that was funny though, and we kept texting. We arranged to meet later on that week to go to the cinema. Originally we wanted to watch the second Silent Hill film but actually opted for Skyfall.
I was so worried he wouldn’t turn up. I was so paranoid I was being lead on, set up to fail and made fun off. Constantly thinking why is this good looking and incredibly funny, lovely man speaking to me. Why would he even want to consider meeting someone like me. I was incredibly self conscious, nervous, anxiety ridden and living in a hostel with a child so my life was a bit of a mess to be honest. The idea of having some decent, adult conversation was liberating and having a chance to get to know someone outside of all that was bliss. He turned up. Early, in all his height and tallness with dark hair and blue eyes and a smile that still makes me swoon a little. He smelled amazing. That’s always a plus, having a nice smelling, good looking man take you out for the night.
The cinema is a pretty awkward place to meet and I am a little bit OCD when it comes to where I sit. So much so if I don’t get the right seats I am literally sat there annoyed and uncomfortable, unable to pay much attention to what is going on. I need the top right seat in the very corner. That is my safety seat. Luckily, those seats were available, Adam paid for the tickets (gentleman) and we went on our merry way to watch the film. It was good, it gave us a talking point afterwards where Adam said he’d like to do it again.
Another point I may have looked a little silly is my reaction to the suggestion of a chicken wrap. I was very enthusiastic to the idea of eating. Again, he paid, which was very nice because I was very poor. We had a walk around and at one point needed to stop because my tights were falling down. On our first date I had to adjust in the most unladylike fashion, he politely turned away, and I was just wanting to die with embarrassment at the pretty much flashing my massive hold everything in so I look less fat knickers. We talked some more and sat together until gone 1am where I went off to meet a friend. Another awkward exchange where I didn’t know whether to give him a hug goodbye so I just sort of gave him the double thumbs up. Honestly, kill me know, who even does that?!
I don’t think I fell in love at first sight but I had a really great time with someone I had so much common ground with. He made me laugh and smile so much and he brought a little bit of joy to a very difficult part of my life. I text him after to say thank you for a nice evening, we spoke a little more before saying good night. That was that really, that was where we began our journey together on 9th November 2012. We met up again the week after for dinner where we talked and laughed some more before heading to the cinema again. Then we enjoyed a day out shopping together the week after with dinner and another film. Spending the whole day together made me a little nervous but we had a really good time. He offered time and time again to get me a Christmas gift but honestly, the time away, the dates, they were enough of a gift to me. Having someone so lovely in my life made me feel amazing and Christmassy.
My favourite date from those early days was taking the bus down to Bournemouth and spending the day at the beach. It was so close to Christmas, Adam had just worked the winter ball at his work and had been up pretty much all night. He was exhausted and fell asleep on the way home. When he woke up, on the last half hour or so of the journey he wrapped his arm around me and we snuggled on the back of the bus. The next time we saw each other was Boxing Day. He knew I was anxious waiting for Evie to come home who had been with her dad’s for Christmas and he took me out to KFC. We’ve since made this one of our little family traditions. It was really lovely.
In the new year I introduced him to Evie. We spent the afternoon at my mums and had lunch together. Evie covered him in teddies before giving him a slap on the arm. Since that day when Evie was two years old Adam has been a constant in her life. Those six months together as a two and a three were spent in hotels, at his place, at the zoo, at theme parks, having walks along the river in the spring, watching Adam get incredibly unwell with glandular fever, and just basically, falling absolutely head over heels in love.
It was June when I was finally able to move into my own flat. Adam helped move me in whilst Evie was away with her dad and then he went back to work, went back to his place which lasted all of two nights. On the Tuesday, after work, around 1am I had a phone call. It was Adam, asking if I could let him in. He had his bag with his PS3 and a pack of fancy sausages. He didn’t go home after that night. We moved in, we became a family and in June we will celebrate four years living together. Four years of being a family together. Four years of him parenting with me, exploring and enjoying our lives together.
I still look forward to our weekends together, both as a family and as a couple. I appreciate all the hard work he does for us, the early morning school runs, the quick dashes to Sainsburys for medicine, the lunches, the washing up. All the normal stuff is so totally appreciated. I also love our dates, our trips to the cinema, our late nights and early mornings together – we’re parents, after all. I love that he has sat next to me at parents evenings, asking questions about our daughters education, getting to know her teacher, asking her how her day at school was. I love watching him help Evie with her homework, watching them play together, walking together hand in hand. My daughter is lucky that she has Adam in her life. Another constant. Another parental figure looking out for her best interests. Late night cuddles to chase away the monsters. All the animated movies. Adam can name a lot of Disney Princesses, knows the names of Evie’s favourite teddy bears, can cook her favourite meal. We are a family. We are a loving, happy family.
Adam is the man for me. The man I will cruise around the world with, one year at a time. The man I will parent with, support and uncondionally love. Even when he has man flu. Adam might not be a perfect person, Imean, who is? Not me! However, he is absolutely the perfect person to live the rest of my life with. So today, the day before Valentines day, we will be having our night together. Enjoying good food with my family and catching up with The Walking Dead. Here is to many, many more.