12 Days of Parenting – How I Parent vs How I thought I would Parent

If you have joined me from Adventures of a Novice Mum then I thank you for stopping by on this 12 days of parenting post. This post is sponsored by Gumigem who have donated a Bubba Bag for our grand prize giveaway.

When you’re pregnant for the first time you seem to try to find out everything you possibly can about being a parent although lets face it you can read and talk and learn as much as you like but as every single baby is different then you really can’t learn how to be the perfect parent and nothing prepares you for it. I imagine having a second you are a little more switched on but still have plenty to learn. We are a three person family so I guess I can’t really comment on what it’s like to have a bigger family or how I would feel after more children.

When you are pregnant you want everything natural and harmonious but that doesn’t always go to plan. I wanted a lovely home birth, we had everything we needed and a massive bathroom (big enough to fit a single bed inside it and still be able to open the door – not that we did, we just settled for a mattress) I had a birthing ball and plenty of places to walk but my dear sweet daughter didn’t want to come at home and so instead I was induced and ended up delivering her by caesarean section. From then on everything I wanted to do changed.

Hours after a C-Section birth where we were both kept in for 72 hours with IV Antibiotics. Not how I planned my birth story...
Hours after a C-Section birth where we were both kept in for 72 hours with IV Antibiotics. Not how I planned my birth story…

I wanted to be that mum that breastfed exclusively and wouldn’t be afraid to do it in public but instead I had a low supply of milk, I couldn’t grasp a hand pump, struggled holding her in any other position other than rugby ball because of recovering from surgery and the size of my boobs. I couldn’t get to her quick enough so I would get frustrated with myself and feel like a failure as a mum for not being good enough so I moved onto combination feeding which made everyone a lot happier, eventually switching to formula after 12 weeks.

I wanted to be the mum that blended up our meals which would be whole, organic produce but that didn’t happen. I wanted to try baby lead weaning but couldn’t stand to listen to her choke so went for baby food jars instead – although I did try and go with the Ella’s Kitchen range more than others. I was a baby food snob.

I wanted to get rid of her dummy by the time she was 8 months old because she would be able to self settle by then but I ended up taking it away when she was 16 months old instead, only to be replaced with a bottle of milk at bedtime which then didn’t stop until she was at least two and a half as it was the only way she would go to sleep.

She has more sugar than I thought I would give her
She has more sugar than I thought I would give her

I wanted to co-sleep to create a good sleeping routine but then got her into her cot before she was six months which was great, then I moved into a hostel and had to share a room, I moved our beds together for more space which meant we were together again and then when I moved her I had a lot of time on my own with my boyfriend working nights so now at five years old she still wants to sleep in my bed. I don’t really have a problem with it but Adam isn’t very keen so she’s lifted when he gets home and stays in her room on his time off. I feel she’s going to have a shock next week with Adam being home from work for two weeks.

This was Evie's reaction when I said I would take her to the arcade on the last day of our holiday in Blackpool.
This was Evie’s reaction when I said I would take her to the arcade on the last day of our holiday in Blackpool.

I wanted to join lots of baby groups so we would both have lots of mummy friends, but I didn’t have the confidence.

But when I look back on everything I wanted to do and everything I have actually done all none of it really matters. Because I have a very happy, clever, funny five year old girl, who has lots of friends, who loves going to school, who eats a huge variety of food, who loves kisses and cuddles, who doesn’t complain about the 30 minute walk to and from school, who creates amazing pictures, who loves spending time with me, who is polite and kind to others and who is lucky to have the huge amount of family that she does.

Things might not have gone to plan for the life I would like to lead as a mum, but I wouldn't change anything
Things might not have gone to plan for the life I would like to lead as a mum, but I wouldn’t change anything

What do you do differently than you thought?

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Comments

  1. It’s one thing to want something, it’s another to have it, right. With parenting, there are so many unknown factors, and every second sometimes is literally changing. We learn to adjust to it though, don’t we. Lovely to read that despite it all not going according to plan, you’ve made the most of it as you are able to. Wishing you good enjoyment of the season. #12daysofparening

  2. Kat says:

    I remember gagging being part of the BLW process but I just couldn’t do it and had a very unsupportive health visitor saying I wasn’t feeding her. New parents are put under so much pressure these days! x

  3. lycrawidow says:

    The pressure is unreal! HV’s unfortunately aren’t always helpful/well informed either. X

    1. Kat says:

      No I agree with that! Still five years on and seem to be doing okay! X

  4. lycrawidow says:

    You’re rocking it mama! Don’t you worry xx

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