May went by pretty fast and we have had lots of exciting things happen. Well, really May has been a month of lovely things for Adam and as it’s his birthday month he deserved it. April was really hard financially and emotionally too as I was feeling pretty overwhelmed so it was really great to have a nice May.
At the end of April Adam passed his driving test which was fantastic. It was his first test after having regular Automatic only lessons since last August. It’s been a big expense alongside having a baby and Adam travelling to and from Winchester for University but it was necessary for him and I’m just so happy he passed. Adam then celebrated his 28th birthday on a bit of a high and shortly after the bank holiday weekend he bought his first car. When he brought it home we had our first family drive which was really surreal.
He ended up getting an 2003 Audi A4 which has a bloody massive engine, wants a lot of petrol but fits us all in and has a lot of boot space. Obviously having kids means we need plenty of boot space particularly for our holiday next month. We did a little test of how much we could fit in with our trip to Weymouth during half term. So he’s now had his first car for almost a month. We’ve sorted out insurance, road tax and RAC membership. He took it in for a service and we’ve had to change brake lights. Before our holiday we are going to have the air con recharged for more comfortable summer driving. I know nothing about cars and I can’t (and have no desire to learn) drive myself so all of this is new information to me. I am in charge of setting up sat nav and music.
Adam has also had two assignment results back from University, both in the 60’s which I think equals a 2:1. He is waiting for one more result to come back and for his first year at Uni I think he will come back with an overall 2:2. Apparently the first year just requires a pass and it’s the second and third year that count towards the overall degree. He’s just selected his year 2 modules which he’s looking forward to studying and he’s had his year 2 student finance accepted. All we need now is that final assignment grade and acknowledgement that he’s passed his first year and all will be well and good.
I am over the moon & so proud of Adam. In the last ten months he has had a lot to deal with and juggle from changing jobs, starting university, carrying on learning to drive and having a baby son. It’s been really, really challenging and I’ve struggled but Adam has been helpful and supportive throughout all of this. I am very glad to have him finish Uni for the summer so he can enjoy some rest even though he’s still working.
Evie has had her half term and is back to school tomorrow for the last few weeks. She really does love her school now and the change in her after school behaviour is really improved. I still suspect that she possibly has ADHD so I’m looking at arranging to speak with the SENCO at school to discuss this. I really should have done this a very long time ago but I am constantly doubting myself and I try very hard not to compare Evie to other children but there are a few issues that I really thought she would have grown out of by now.
I always seem to leave me to last but that’s because nothing really happens. I have not been a good blogger and I’ve struggled finding the time and energy to write and do images and promote my blog which has seen engagement and stats and bloggy things go down. I can change it and I really want to make a bigger effort over the summer. I have a lot of ideas and content I want to do but actually doing it is another matter. It doesn’t help that my desk chair is very uncomfortable and I don’t like writing at the laptop.
I wrote recently about how I felt about the whole body positive movement. I have frequently blogged about my weight and after doing a bit of soul searching, reading and a bit of self care really I am trying to move towards a more mentally healthy approach to myself. There is no point on me actively trying to lose weight whilst my mental attitude and self loathing is so high. I need to work on my head first and get that self confidence back up. I’m social decluttering people that go on about weight loss, sell weight loss products in a bid to change my attitude. I’ve found some nice instagram accounts to follow within the body positivity movement which is really showing me a different way to think and feel about who I am as a person rather than what I weigh. Because I am so much more than what I weigh. I have a long way to go towards self love and self acceptance.
I am no longer going to make this blog about changing myself and my size and my body shape but I am going to focus on being happy, loving my life, my children and growing my self confidence. Everyone is allowed to take up space, everyone is allowed to be happy and no one should hate their own bodies or feel so put down by self confidence and self loathing. It’s toxic.
In other news, we got out and about quite a bit in May thanks to having a car. I went with Adam to Winchester whilst he went to the library to return some books. We went for a browse and some lunch in Basingstoke with Felix and enjoyed a KFC. We drove down to the New Forest and found a lovely place for lunch right on the coast in Milford on Sea. We’ve had a night away in Weymouth too which was very refreshing. We’ve booked our ferry crossing for our holiday to the Isle of Wight in July and we are closing in on that debt too. May was a busy but good month.