Screw everything that says nine months in, nine months out. I was pregnant for ten months. I found out I was expecting on 17th January 2018 when I was around two-three weeks pregnant and Felix was born in October. That is ten months. It was a long and brutal ten months and I’ve had another brutal ten months this side of things but my gosh has it been amazing seeing my little man grow.
I have not coped well with the 8/9/10 month sleep regression, this particular group of mental development leaps or the bursts of seperation anxiety. It has been so hard. It could have been harder of course, but it’s been a bit like the newborn days really. At least this time I haven’t been recovering from my second c-section. But here we are at 10 months, no more single digit months and edging ever closer to his first birthday.
Let’s get into that sleep regression first. I have no advice or tips on helping you to cope. I can tell you I’ve got ill from the lack of sleep. I am constantly tired. I haven’t been able to work much. My patience has been thin and I’ve had to take afternoon naps. I have cried through the sheer exhaustion of having to function and parent. It’s awful. No amount of telling myself it’s normal, it’s common, it happens to loads of babies, it’s just a phase blah blah blah none of that helps. None of that makes him sleep.
I think we have cracked it. I think he could have been suffering with silent reflux so we’ve adjusted the times he eats to make sure he’s not going to bed on to full a tummy. He still has bedtime milk but we’re adjusting the amounts so he has a mix of 5oz and 6oz bottles. We’re trying to give him longer breaks between milk feeds and food. He is not a hungry baby, he clearly eats small and often and that’s perfect but it’s still a learning curve.
I think seperation anxiety has also been something Felix has struggled with as he has been fighting his naps and bedtime. Our method of helping him sleep has been to put him down sleepy into bed with a couple of small soft toys and a dummy (of which he doesn’t use often so we are hoping to ditch them very soon) and then listening out for him. He usually stands up and shouts for us so we go in for a cuddle, soothe and calm then put him straight back down. He’ll usually get up two or three times but as we keep coming back and showing him we haven’t actually gone and we will come back the moment he needs us does seem to help reassure him and he goes off to sleep.
I am hoping that now it’s not getting light quite so early in the mornings it will extend how long he stays asleep for. I am craving the days he sleeps until 6am. Getting up at 5am or earlier each morning has absolutely drained me and I’m an early morning person! Either way he will find his groove and pattern again and for now we just have to do what is working.
Felix loves to babble and seems to say mum ma, dada, nana, yes, hiya and no. I am absolutely confident he is copying us really and has no concept of what anything means except dada or daddy. He very much knows who daddy is. In the mornings Adam is working we often look out the window to watch him come home and Felix gets so excited. In the afternoons after Adam has slept Felix will follow him around whinging until Adam picks him up. When Daddy is up and awake mummy means very little.
His laugh is still very much a sort of hack and cough sound. He rarely laughs out loud but makes funny noises when smiling. Recently he has mastered some sort of wheeze laugh which I am pretty sure he is trying to copy from Evie, who makes a lot of weird and wonderful noises, but it does freak me out a little bit.
He whinges and cries a lot. No more than normal but he gets very frustrated very quickly. It’s all part of all the new things he’s learning and they seem to be coming in thick and fast now.
Felix is cruising around furniture, crawling, sitting and kneeling. He can stand with one hand supported on furniture to keep his balance and has both feet firmly on the ground. He will walk holding both hands do balance and support. His hand eye coordination is improving consistently and he can pick smaller things up with his thumb and finger. He doesn’t pick toys to drop them on the floor with purpose but just uses his arms to shove things off and out his way. It’s very obvious when he doesn’t want something.
This is going well, he has a good variety of finger foods as well as purées with we are moving up to his next level for extra texture. We find it hard giving him what he eats because he eats at such different times to us. However he very often helps himself to whatever I am eating at breakfast or lunch. He loves cucumber sticks, toast, apple slices and a bit of a biscuit. He’s also tried to have my (cold- always cold) tea and coffee. He likes a bit of pizza crust now he’s got some teeth and has tried breadsticks. He isn’t very keen on meat at the moment apart from the purées he’s tried.
Here’s hoping over the next few months Felix will get sleeping in the bag and with a little encouragement from us go back to his normal sleep routine! Fingers crossed. Happy 10 months little man.