The last month or so has been hard. We are right in the middle of a mental developent leap for Felix, more teething, sleep regression, seperation anxiety and I feel like we’ve just been waiting for the summer holidays to start so the mornings don’t feel quite so rushed. It’s been really tough.
I think it all kind of kicked off just before our holiday. Evie’s behaviour has been getting more and more challenging lately and was particularly difficult on our holiday this year which I’ll be honest kind of ruined it for us. This and the multitude of issues Felix is having right now has been really getting me down and I’ve found myself withdrawing mentally. I’ve been getting to the point where even the ten minute walk to school was making me really anxious.
I’m trying to do a bit of journaling to talk about my sleep patterns and how they affect my mood. I’m doing the same with food too – not a food calorie restrictive diet, I’ve said a big F-You to diet culture recently and now I firmly see them all as the enemy – not the people that do them, you do you etc but the corporations. That’s another point. But the anger I’ve felt probably hasn’t helped. Journaling is for now and it’s good to understand some patterns that are going to make me feel better.
So I’m trying to push myself out there a little more. We’ve got some fun things planned over the summer holidays which we are really looking forward to with both kids and also with just Felix. We’ve also booked a break to Centerparcs with friends in November which I’m looking forward to.
Over the summer I am hoping we can get a bit more routine going with Felix but I have to admit I am looking forward to Evie going away with her dad just so I can focus on one child for a bit. I know she’ll have a fab time and I think that will be a big refresh for us all.
Life is just hard at the moment I guess. Being a mum of two has been harder than I expected but I know most of the time it’s all phases and stages. I’ve been there, we will have more great days again. I feel I’ve been focusing too much on the negatives – we all do when we’re sleep deprived so I thought I’d list a few positives that actually are making me feel good.
- I have the best, most kindest support network of online and offline friends who have been patient, chatty and understanding
- Evie is done with year 3 and she had a fantastic report. I enjoyed reading through her school books with her.
- BlogOn is coming up and I’m really excited to see my blogging pals who I haven’t seen in over a year.
- Felix can now say Dada, Mum ma, aww, Nana, hiya, hello, door and duck
- Felix has the absolute best cackle I’ve ever heard in a baby and despite the lack of sleep he smiles a lot
- Adam made a banging macaroni cheese for dinner. It was just what I needed to perk me up a bit after a three hour nap.
- Evie has a lovely group of girls at school, a proper little girly gang which is great.
- We are going to Butlins soon. I’m very excited.