Time is a funny thing isn’t it? We are always working on time, against time, to time, deadlines…it’s pretty much a constant in everyone’s life. This is a pretty personal piece on how I have been putting really, really stupid deadlines and working to a time limit that I wasn’t really aware of. I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself lately and I think I’ve figured out why, how and I need to stop.
So I work from home and I’m trying to build an income for my family so that I can provide more and so that we can do more. This has lead to me making a few commitments that I actually shouldn’t have done and now feel obligated to keep. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy about them and I am excited about them but honestly I really can’t afford it and I hate having to admit that. Money is such a vicious thing isn’t it? I know people often say that money doesn’t buy happiness but not having any really does cause misery. We do have enough, to get buy, to live, we make sacrifices and we get things we want and need but only just. This is increasing every month but it’s still tough. However I know that the more work I do, the more I put in, then the more I will get out of it.
Blogging has been amazing the last few months for me. I have gained some amazing opportunities and I am starting to get more exciting things to blog about and do with my family which is fantastic. I am so grateful that we are able to do the things we want for a fraction of the cost. The exchange of writing for an event, product or service is easy for me and I really enjoy it. However, it does get a bit overwhelming and I really need to organise myself better rather than procrastinate and binge watch Pretty Little Liars on Netflix. What annoys me is whilst I’m catching up with TV shows I can be organising my week and my blog. I can multitask. I have the freedom and the flexibility to multitask but sometimes I just don’t.
The biggest time scale I’ve been putting on myself really unnecessary is having more children. I had my first daughter when I was 21 and she will be six in September. I don’t feel like motherhood is my calling or anything but I would like a bigger family, especially now I’m in a much happier, healthier relationship than I was when I had Mini Kat. Adam and I have been together for four years now, we’ve talked about it together and we both want it. However we also both want to move and get married. All of these things cost money and honestly, I feel like I’m getting too old to have kids. I know, I know, it’s really silly and I have lots of fantastic friends who have had children and have lovely families and the age gap between me and them is a lot bigger. Really I should think it’s okay, I’m only twenty-seven, I have plenty of years left to have more children. I also know that when Adam and I decide the time is right for us, we will probably have them in a much closer age gap than between Mini Kat and her brother or sister.
What I need is a plan. A really good 12 month plan that will tell me exactly what I need to do to earn enough money to be able to move. Once we have the funds and ability to move, then I know we can start thinking about having a bigger family. I know this won’t exactly take ten years of my life and really I know we will probably have more children sooner than I think but what I need to do is stop putting a timeline on myself and just relax.
Enjoy living. Celebrate the family I have. Blog and make money. I still have plenty of time.