How often do you catch yourself saying things like, the year is flying by or they just grow so fast don’t they? I remember how the days would seem to drag when I was at school filled with clock watching and how six weeks to wait for the half term break literally seemed like it was a lifetime away. Now, six weeks is soon, impending, the not too distant future and I feel like time is slipping away from me.
In my twenty-seven years of life I have been a waitress, call centre operative, insurance advisor, auditor and compliance associate, administrator, team leader, coffee and sandwich maker amongst a few other part time jobs to help earn money for my time. I have been a sister since I was four and a half, become a mother, been in hard relationships and found a lovely man to help grow and make my family complete. I have raised a child to the age of six yet it feels like I was still pregnant with her yesterday. I have traveled, I have moved, I have lived alone and with friends, with others, with partners. Since leaving school eleven years ago my life has taken a multitude of unexpected twists and turns to bring me to where I am today. The trips, the people I’ve met, the things I have seen have both happened a really long time ago and this morning. Time has become a blur and is measured by places I’ve lived, eaten in and worked for.
Every year seems to fly by and I am creeping closer to another milestone age and eleven years after leaving school I am back on the routine of term time as Evangeline is in school. Counting down until half term has started again but not because I need a break, but because I miss time with my daughter. It becomes a break from the early morning school runs and a little more flexibility in the day. Christmas comes and goes, with just as much excitement as it held for me when I was six, seeing my daughter getting excited, preparing for her shows and concerts. Yet it hits me in the face with how fast the next one comes around.
This November Adam and I will celebrate four years of togetherness which is lovely and I am so happy. But I think about how young Evangeline was when we met, how school was so far away in the future that term time wasn’t on my mind. We have experienced so much together as a family, and I’m grateful, I’m happy but there are moments when I just want to hit pause and give myself a little time to reflect.
I want to remember each and every day. I want to remember my daughters sheer joy and delight in an icecream, a surprise trip to the park or ripping open a gift. I just want things to slow down a little bit, so I can enjoy each and every moment, savour it, because tomorrow is not so far away. Hours have become minutes, days have become hours and seasons just seem to change when I blink.
Time goes by, so fast that sometimes it’s a little scary, it’s a little overwhelming. But it’s always exciting.