It is so true when people say babies come when babies are ready. I am currently 40+6 days which means my estimated due date is well and truly behind us and, honestly, I am absolutely fine. I knew this baby would be born after. I know we still have a good few days of waiting. I am getting a bit annoyed with all the “Oh you must be so fed up now!” comments because I have been telling everyone all along it’s more likely he will be born in October. People get so caught up on an estimated due date which has just been compared to a standardised chart according to a few measurements at 12 weeks.
I am not getting fed up at all. Yes, things are harder, my mobility is limited and I am uncomforfable but I am not fed up with being pregnant. I know people mean well when they ask is the baby here yet? Any signs? When do you think it will be? And no, there is nothing. No signs. I have no idea when he will be here. I’d love it to be this weekend because we don’t have to worry about childcare or Adam being at work or university but if it’s next week, then it’s fine. If I have a sweep and that brings labour on, that’s fine, if I get to 42 weeks and have another sweep and the offer of breaking waters, then that’s fine. If absolutely nothing happens before 8th October then we will talk about having a planned c-section and that is also fine. This has been the plan all along.
I know friends and family are excited for us and that’s really lovely. We’ve had some lovely gifts and conversations. People have come over to keep me company. I just wish people had listened to me when I kept saying it won’t be early. But, on the other hand, my baby is not late. He is not overdue. He is just not here yet. He will be born when he’s ready. My body knows what to do and how to labour. My baby knows when and how to be born. Everything is okay. I am still feeling incredibly excited, positive and really happy.
However, I do know that not all women feel the same when they reach term. So here are a few things I think have helped keep me feeling sane, positive and normal now we have passed our due date.
1. Your due date is an estimate based on the size of your baby at 12 weeks and compared to averages. It doesn’t take DNA into consideration. Everyone is different sizes and different shapes so using a very standard measurement is going to sometimes be different. That is why it’s an estimated date. It is not the date you will necessarily give birth.
2. Think of yourself as having a due month of due period. Most babies arrive between 37-42 weeks of pregnancy.
3. Only 3-5% of babies are born on their due date. Because it’s an estimate.
4. Turn your phone off or put your phone away. Or get your partner to screen messages and calls from well wishers asking if the baby is here yet. It helps, so much.
5. If it’s a second or subsequent baby they usually follow a pattern. It’s not a definite but If baby one was born at 42 weeks, it is more likely that baby 2 will be born closer to 42 weeks than the estimated due date. It’s not exact science, it’s not in every case, it’s just more likely. If baby 1 was born at 39 weeks, it’s again more likely that subsequent babies will be born close to that time again.
6. Sometimes you know the date of conception and it’s very often that date is different to your estimated due date. Keep that in mind!
7. Most importantly, you will get there. These two weeks between 40-42 weeks are tough, they’re weird and they can be so full of emotion. You are doing an amazing job.