Currently, as of 2025, the education in place in England as it stands right now is sub par, exclusionary and archaic. Mainstream school with the current national curriculum that has been in place for decades does not adhere to the growing technological and multicultural country we live in. It is outdated for a modern age. Huge change needs to happen to the subjects being taught and more flexibility for all students. If the system worked, why do we have huge numbers of children not in school? Why is anxiety based school avoidance becoming stronger than ever? Why are students telling their parents they don’t feel safe in school? Why is there more and more coverage on this around the country?
A free education is an excellent thing and to be able to access it is a privilege that I do not take for granted, particularly as a woman where I know around the world my gender would have negative sanctions and my human rights would be second class. I am grateful that I had the freedom to access what I did and that my daughter also has this freedom. However, in an ever-changing, unpredictable world things are being modernised, so why is the education our children receive being ignored? Why are schools insisting on sticking to rules and policies that diminishes a person’s sense of self. Policies and procedures that only care about attendance, conforming to perceived social norms rather than an individuals desire for autonomy. Caring more about maintaining an outdated image for really no good reason instead of creating a nurturing and open environment for children to learn and flourish in.
The biggest problem is this ‘one size fits all’ approach to education when it quite clearly does not fit all. It does not fit students who are struggling with their mental health. It does not fit all neurodivergent students. It does not fit all disabled students. It does not fit all students who have experienced loss, grief and trauma. It does not fit all students because every single student learns and processes information differently. It does not fit all genders. It does not fit all cultures. It does not fit.
Allow policies and procedures that benefit disadvantaged students, and everyone will benefit. Help the less privileged first, and all will benefit. Adapting and being flexible in this world is necessary to surviving yet how are young people supposed to learn that if the place they spend the most important years of absorbing information, learning social norms and growing as individuals will not adapt or be flexible. It is so opposed to the nature in which we have to survive.
I don’t disagree that there are currently some students that thrive in the current setting, but do you know where students thrive the most? Places where they don’t have to follow the national curriculum like private schools and home educators. Where classes are kept small, adaptable, personal and reflect an individuals passions. So I suppose it comes down to a classist issue then? Those that can’t afford financially or have the time, ability or mental strength to home educate are left with a shocking system that will constantly flaunt GCSE results at you and Ofsted reports but I don’t care about that and I know I am not the only parent that does.
Do you know what I care about? My child being allowed to go to the toilet when she needs to or the privacy and respect to change a menstruation product without explicitly stating to a teacher when she is embarrassed. My child being able to eat her lunch without feeling rushed because she will be punished with detentions for being late. A place where my child isn’t forced to give answers to questions based on a teacher randomly picking someone to speak out loud. A place where my child feels comfortably to question why things are the way they are and getting a calm and responsible approach rather than a power struggle of school acting as an authority. A place where teachers are encouraging and empathetic to the fact that every child learns in their own unique way.
Instead we are faced with expensive, branded uniforms, where shirts have to be tucked in and skirts can not be a certain length, and hair must only be blonde, brown or ginger. Oh but hair isn’t allowed to be cut too short, boys can’t have any sort of style shaved into their hair. No piercings are allowed, even if they are of legal age to have them because someone outside the school might find it offensive. The lie that it teaches students to be appropriate for the workplace is laughable because, well, you can get a job or work wherever you want and if a place doesn’t like piercings or hair colours or tattoos…you can find somewhere that does! And there are so many places that don’t discriminate against this sort of thing either. Not to mention workplaces that require a uniform usually provide it or an allowance for it. And on the topic of uniform, why does an 11 to 16 year old need a full suit to go to school? It’s uncomfortable. If you want to insist on a uniform why are you making it so inaccessible in terms of cost and sensory issues? Surely you realise if students were comfortable they would be able to focus more on learning?
I don’t really oppose uniform but why can’t any black trousers and a white polo top and jumper be enough? Why are we going through all these hoops to make children dress as adults? And who does it help or serve? If, as an adult, they want to wear a suit to work then they can choose to do that then, they will have already had the habit of a uniform even if it was kept simple. How do small, subtle piercings detract from a students ability to learn? (they don’t, some people don’t like them so want to punish everyone and hold it over them because they want everyone to look the same or fit in with their standards of beauty). And the length of skirts or wearing leggings being such an issue is because men sexualise girls and women, so instead of addressing the issue of ‘women can wear what they want, keep your hands and thoughts to yourself’ they make women conform so that men can’t get distracted. It’s disgusting quite frankly.
I am fed up of being the parent that just bows down to a school who thinks they have authority over my child’s wellbeing, when they don’t. I am fed up with fighting my child instead of the system that is causing her so much anguish. I am fed up with having no control over a system that doesn’t work and that just keeps having plasters put over the top of the cracks instead of addressing the issue and asking why it isn’t working and how can we fix it. Speak to the parents, ask them how schools and local authorities can do better, don’t just keep adding fines or insisting that children are registered with a provider that might not be safe for them.
I feel like the title says everything about this post. I have been playing video games since the PS1 era of video games, so that’s quite a long time at this point but the variety and amount of games or franchises I’ve stuck to has been quite small until the last few years where I have branched out a bit more I suppose. Then in 2023 I got a proper gaming PC and therefore had more access, and towards the end of that year I took advantage of a discord offer which gave me a few months of Xbox Game Pass for free which, despite not using all that much since the start of the year, I am still paying for. I struggle to cancel subscriptions. And that is how they forever trap ADHDer’s into paying for old hobbies.
A small reflection on 2024
2024 as a whole has felt both stagnant and transformational all in one bundle. It’s been a really hard year, and I’ve had to make some pretty tough decisions for myself and my family. I still haven’t moved which is one of the biggest thorns in my side right now. That lack of change which I feel is keeping me in a pretty negative place mentally is completely out of my control because there’s nothing more I can really do at this point to move other than private renting which I don’t want to do because it’s pretty unaffordable and being lucky enough to be in a council property, I am reluctant to give that up.
It’s also the year that I found a very good therapist who over the last few months has helped me figure things out about myself and going forward is going to help me with a lot of trauma I’ve been dealing with for far too long. Achievements wise I get so caught up in what other people are doing that it makes anything I am happy or proud of feel stupid, small and insignificant. However, I have done things this year that make me feel better about myself. I got two tattoos that I absolutely love on areas of my body I’ve felt quite self conscious about for some time. I started Pole Dance classes in May which have been very good for my confidence and have surprised me in what I’ve been able to do. It’s never been about loosing weight or getting thin, it’s been about learning a new skill, getting stronger and finding something to do for me that I have fallen in love with. I also progressed and cleared an older FFXIV Ultimate raid which is also something I never thought I’d do. With everything that has been going on, it’s kind of no wonder I’ve spent so much of my time escaping in video games just to make life a little bit easier.
Video Games I Played 2024
So here is where I’m going to get kinda nerdy because I was thoroughly offended by my PSN account that suggested I was a ‘Sharpshooter’ video game player because my most played game on my PS5 was Cyberpunk 2077. Collectively, I am pretty confident that the genre of games I have played over console and PC are RPG’s. When I first discovered an RPG and realised that was a type of video game that existed, that is what I wanted to play. It was Final Fantasy X so I had high expectations from the start.
Anyway here is a collective list of all the games I’ve played in 2024. I might as well start with the two obvious ones because I haven’t stopped playing them for years and probably won’t stop anytime soon.
TL:DR – In 2024 I played 35 games on PS5 & PC through EA Play, Steam and Xbox Game Pass. I did not finish all of them.
Final Fantasy XIV – I don’t even want to state my play time because I have no idea what it is for 2024, collectively, since I started playing the MMORPG almost four years ago now it’s been thousands of hours at this point. 2024 started weak with XIV waiting for things to do but I felt, hopeful, for it with the launch of Dawntrail in the summer. I have continued to be disappointed yet I have continued to play this game almost every day. I have cleared each new Extreme fight as it was current, progressed the first savaged fight of the raid series but haven’t cleared it and did an ultimate raid which, despite being old content, was one of the better experiences and that really is saying a lot about the state of FFXIV right now. I’m not alone thinking this, but I’m not ready to give up on it yet if not because of the friends I have met and the occasional want to socialise.
The Sims 4 – I have been playing The Sims on and off since The Sims 1. I am never going to not play The Sims at some point and be continuously annoyed by the lack of spiral staircases and auto roof feature not being available. The Sims 4 did actually release two add-on packs I haven’t got yet but will probably buy in 2025, Goth clothes and the ghost afterlife expansion where you can work as a mortician. The Sims has taken up like 25 years of my life at this point giving it up now is not an option.
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth – This was by far my most anticipated game, and even though I didn’t spend as much time playing it as I thought I would, or apparently, other games, I was really happy with it. Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll complete the Remake trilogy before I’m 40 but that’s a life goal completely out of my control.
Balders Gate 3 – I love this game. So much so I’ve got it on console and PC through Steam. It has been one of the best videogames I have played and has inspired an interest in learning about how to play Dungeons & Dragons of which has began a collection of many, many sets of dice. It got me watching Critical Role on YouTube which has been a joy to listen to. After several starts, two complete playthroughs, many a mod browsing and guide look up or video recap I have found things I’ve missed and am consistently encouraged to go back and replay. I hope, one day, I can do a multiplayer campaign with friends because I think it would be a lot of fun to do with other people. I loved the story, completing both a ‘good’ and evil playthrough, I like the character creation, I like the variety of classes and races in the game and have just enjoyed playing something so refreshing and new. It’s been a challenge and a learning curve but I’ve loved every part of it.
Disney Dreamlight Valley – this was like Animal Crossing but Disney. It was alright. Kind of one of those never ending farming sim games. Did make a lot of money, finished the main quests but didn’t do any of the DLC stuff and did get a bit boring and repetitive. Also having to wait for unpredictable weather and doing things in real time like “come back in the evening” is difficult for someone that wants to progress. I am not slow and cosy.
Slay the Spire – I think this is something I’ve gone back to because it’s really addictive. This year I was able to actually complete it on each character too, and I am working my way on ascension levels. Just in time for Slay the Spire 2 in 2025…
Trails in the Sky – I replayed the first game after playing Trails through Daybreak and have the desire to continue through Sky SC and 3rd now I know what I know from the games that came after. This series is wonderful and has become pretty dear to me in the last few years for many reasons but it is difficult to remain enthusiastic for the future of the story and what is to come with what appears to be no real tangible conclusion right now. Going back to playing as Estelle and Joshua at the very start of this game and seeing the story in its roots was really nice.
Trails Through Daybreak – Finally got to Calvard to explore and meet a new cast of characters. Enjoyed, played through in full maybe twice, or maybe three times? I can’t remember.
Persona 3 Portable – This was thanks to Game Pass on PC but because Persona 3 Reload was coming out I didn’t have much time to actually play P3P and therefore wasn’t able to finish it.
Persona 3 Reload – I feel like I would have enjoyed this more had I not tried to rush through P3P and not finish it, and if the stuff from P3P was included, like, say, a Female protagonist…I might have enjoyed it more. However, the music from the final battle remains one of my favourite tracks from the entire Persona series.
Persona 5 Tactica – Started and never finished, struggled with mouse and WASD controls on keyboard so it put me off. Was fine for what I played but I didn’t get that far. Might go back to it one day.
Persona 5 Strikers – Started and never finished. Hack and Slash quick combat Persona game. Will probably go back to it eventually. Was fun but was also kind of a game I was just playing for the sake of playing something.
Persona 3, 4 and 5 Dancing games: Started but didn’t finish. I think I played through Dancing in Starlight the most. I started the story mode for 4 but didn’t really get very far. I think I was kind of done with Persona games at this point but it was nice to hear some of the music again.
Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance – Was good for combat, enjoyed it enough whilst I was playing it but can’t say it’s been particularly memorable and don’t have much of a desire to replay. Some of the navigation in some of the maps frustrated me. Agrat was the best thing in this game. She was cute and very, very strong in my final line up of demons I fought. Plus it had a fairy kingdom which is always a plus for me.
Yakuza: Like a Dragon – I strictly played this because someone else was and I wanted to know WTF they were talking about. It was on Game Pass during the free trial so didn’t have much to loose. I got curious after being sent a trailer for Like a Dragon Infinite Wealth and seeing many memes comparing certain scenes to FF7 Rebirth. It was weird but I liked it enough to continue playing other games with very minimal context of the previous Yakuza games.
Like a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name – Felt it appropriate to play if I was going to play Infinite Wealth and again, copied said friend from above who went on to play this too. Enjoyed it for what it was.
Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth – According to PSN this was my 4th most played game on console with 98 hours and many trophies. Mostly, I liked trash island animal crossing mini game the best. It was kinda fun making a sleazy island resort and getting a lot of money from it. I did play the rest of the game too, and made friends with many animals.
Octopath Traveller – Started but didn’t finish or get very far, so don’t really have all that much to say. Think I was waiting for other games to release.
Deep Rock Galatic – Started, didn’t get far. Lot of people were talking about it and enjoying it, I tried it but probably not my sort of thing long term.
Wytchwood – Started, haven’t finished yet but do intend to because I quite like it. Indie game I was following for a little bit, Witch lives in the woods and wants to break a curse, slow and cosy type of game so feel like I need to be in the mood to go back to it.
Cat Cafe Manager – Completed it and had an amazing cafe with lots of money and lots of cats by the end. It was cute, quick and fun.
Cyberpunk 2077 – According to PSN was my most played console game which gives me the ‘Sharpshooter’ gamer profile and I think that is wrong and what inspired this very long list and research. I did really, really like it though. I got a cool raincoat, I played through multiple endings, I almost got the platinum for it and I tried two different characters with different skills and abilities. Feel like I got a lot of playtime from it and really was engrossed. Quickhack exploded a lot of grenades, and therefore, people. Also rewatched Edgerunners whilst playing which gave me a new appreciation for Night City and the people that live there and just how fucking dire it all is.
The Witcher 3 – Remember starting this years and years ago on PS4 I think, doing the very start tutorial and then never really going any further. Downloaded the free PS5 upgrade version and played through, very much enjoyed it. Had some knowledge of the game from friends and the universe from the books and TV show. It was good, I did alright with it I think, and will be excited to play The Witcher 4.
Untitled Goose Game – cause turmoil and terror to others as a goose. You could honk at things. It made my son laugh. I didn’t get passed the first area.
Dragon’s Dogma 2 – Probably my biggest disappointment after how much I enjoyed the first game and felt let down preordering it. Would like to go back to it again and play through it properly but we will see. I don’t have a desire to do so anytime soon.
Digimon World: Next Order – Started but didn’t finish, bought out of nostalgia if anything and because it was on sale. Fond memories watching Digimon after school when I was younger and did begin my interest in Japan and Japanese culture but I wasn’t in the mood to learn how to play it properly and it felt overly complicated for no reason. Plus I think I picked the wrong egg to get the actual digimon I wanted so that was automatically frustrating.
Odin Sphere: Leifthrasir – Played through every character but didn’t finish the last book. Had wanted to play it for the longest time. It’s visually very pretty and you get to eat snacks to level up which I can get behind. Liked some of the characters more than others but I think I wasn’t captivated quite enough to grind levels and abilities for the last epilogue or ‘true ending’ book.
13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim – Again, played it because a friend was playing it at the time and I was nosy. Got the platinum for it because it wasn’t hard. Read a lot about the combat being difficult but I found it relatively enjoyable.
Tales of Vesperia – Was a filler game whilst waiting for FF7 Rebirth so it was not the best decision to make to start something. Might go back to it, enjoyed it enough I think but I don’t really remember much about it now.
Mass Effect Legendary Edition – Played Mass Effect 1-3 for the first time with very little context and had to use mouse and keyboard controls so it took me a long time to get into it but I did and I stuck it out and did enjoy it. I think ME2 was my favourite of the three.
Dragon Age Origins – started but struggled with keyboard and mouse controls again so I didn’t get very far. Maybe I’ll try again in the future.
Dragon Age The Veilguard – Currently playing so I won’t finish it this year but I am enjoying it at least! It has a photo mode and I found this tree with legs.
FFXIV UWU – The Weapon’s Refrain Ultima Weapon has been cleared by your local Lizard Lady. I did it! I cleared an ultimate raid in Final Fantasy XIV and I am feeling pretty damn proud of myself. It may not be the current or even a recent FFXIV Ultimate but it’s still an Ultimate. My experience of progressing this fight and eventually getting that all important first kill is a pretty positive experience all around. I am super grateful for the team that had me join them and come along despite the many memes and deaths along the way. I did manage to film the clear and have uploaded that onto YouTube.
The Weapon’s Refrain: Ultima Weapon
Currently there are six Ultimate raids in FFXIV and The Weapon’s Refrain: Ultima Weapon (frequently shortened to UWU) was launched in the Stormblood expansion with patch 4.31. It’s an eight player raid that is level and gear synched to level 70. You need to first clear the Savage Sigmascape V4.0: Kefka (which you can do these days unrestricted for very low effort) to be able to unlock Ultimacy in Kugane via The Wandering Minstrel. You can then recruit other players via Party Finder or form a static group of 7 other people that also want to progress, clear and potentially farm the fight. As a reward you get the achievement Ultimatum which grants you The Ultimate Legend title, and with every kill you get an Ultima totem which can be exchanged in Rhalgr’s Reach or Kugane for a weapon. There are a total of 15 weapons available for UWU, so to have them all, you need 15 kills.
Once you’ve found a committed group of people that want to go for it or if you feel confident to clear in party finder with randoms it’s just a case of planning time to go and do it. For some people this could be a few hours and for others it can be weeks. There’s no real time to say exactly how long it will take you to clear. The group I was progressing with got their first clear during week 9 after 2 or 3 weekly 2 ish hour sessions. The two biggest blocks were Titan Gaols and getting the positioning for those right alongside Ultimate Suppression which is a non-dps mechanic of the fight close to the end which requires each player to do their thing consistently well, but it’s RNG based so knowing what to do with which debuff, marker and dealing with all of the AOE chaos at the same time is a lot. I really struggled with this mechanic in particular so I’m very grateful for the patience of the party I cleared with. These two guides are particularly helpful to see the entire fight and each phase. I referenced them a lot to help me learn the fight.
Gear and Party Composition for UWU
I didn’t have BiS gear for a Machinist during this fight because I couldn’t be bothered to farm it. I used Dawntrail raid buffs such as Grade 8 Tinctures of Dexterity for my potions and Moqueca raid food because that is what I had available to use. I used potions twice in the fight I think, at the start of Ifrit and at the start of Ultima. You can probably line these up more but I didn’t really care to do that. Those two phases were the easiest to use potions for.
Below is a picture of my current MCH Dawntrail gear which is not BiS for anything because I’m not currently doing savage raiding. These were my MCH stats and attributes of the gear I used at the time of my first clear on 16th December 2024. The Balance discord probably has the BiS gear if you want to go for that. I read that the BiS weapon was the Shadowbringers relic with your chosen jobs optimal substats but I didn’t use it. I started progression with the Skyruin Extreme trial weapon and then changed to the tome weapon when I could buy it. You are synched down to 375 for the level 70 raid and it helps to know your jobs level 70 rotation very well. The level 70 alliance raids are a good way to practice this because, despite their being some downtime between boss fights, the length of the alliance raid and the level sync will solidify that rotation in your mind. Also they are without a doubt the best alliance raids in FFXIV with no exceptions.
In terms of party composition you need one player per job and you absolutely must have a caster DPS and a Melee DPS for the beyond limits LB phase. This is for the caster to take care of magitek bits with Caster LB3 and for the Melee to take care of Lahabrea when he appears. It is helpful to have a second ranged player to deal with certain mechanics like eruptions during Ifrit and Ultima phases of the fight. I played Physical Ranged DPS because that is what I have played in most difficult content and is the job I am most comfortable with at level 70. Red Mage would have been the other DPS I might have considered playing but I enjoy playing MCH a lot more so it made more sense. I can’t say what the most optimal jobs are for UWU because I don’t really pay much attention to it (Its not going to be MCH) but having two different tanks offering their unique partywide mitigations – Shake it Off from WAR is a very nice help for healers and giving shields to avoid Vulcan Burst knockback during Ifrit phases and two unique healers – A Regen and a Shield healer will just help keep the party protected and alive during heavy hitting raidwides. That is pretty standard practice for most raids in FFXIV anyway.
Is UWU an easy fight?
This is completely dependent on personal experience and what you, as a player, find easy or challenging. I’m sure when it was current it was much tougher and trickier and took a while to clear and clearing in 7.1 is likely a very different experience. UWU is still an ultimate raid so whilst it may be the ‘easiest’ of the six ultimate raids currently available in FFXIV mechanics still need to be respected. Raidwides and mistakes will kill you. It is a very fast fight and takes alot of mental energy to learn, progress and eventually clear. As I said above for some players this will likely be done in just a few sessions depending on how confident you are at your job, your ability to determine safe spots fast and retain mechanic information for the entire fight. For others it will take longer. The fight itself mechanically, I think, feels more like an extreme, but faster. The difficulty for me came from the length of the encounter with no down time. It is more a test of endurance, and, your reflexes, you might say, than having the absolute best DPS. I would know, because I play a job with considerably weak DPS and no ability to buff anyone. I am selfish and I will continue to be selfish in FFXIV until I unsubscribe.
Doing an Ultimate raid was never really something I planned to do, it was on the off chance that other people were going to try it and they needed an 8th person to fill in. I wasn’t sure if I would last but I did and I have two lovely new weapon glamours to show off.
I’m going to preface this right now with homeschool is not an option for me. As an AuDHD person that attempted a form of Crisis Schooling when schools closed it was equally as stressful as trying to convince a school refuser to attend school. I lack the mental energy from complete burnout to try and creatively think of ways to ‘unschool’ or come up with some kind of learning. I can’t drive which limits places we can go for educational reasons, I am completely broke which is another limitation as even the free places that might be suitable I can’t afford the public transport to go to. My teen doesn’t want to go to any form of groups or engage with other people which is another limitation. We live in a small two bedroom flat, I hardly sleep because I share a room with a five year old and we have no where I can even set up a quiet and creative space to foster learning. I have chronic health issues including fatigue and pain which are even more limitations. The list goes on. I can’t do it and I can’t pay someone else to do it for me. I really admire families that can do it and make the most of the amazing resources that are there but I can’t.
Right now I am desperately trying to figure out what more I can do to help but I am living in such a high state of stress and anxiety that my brain just isn’t functioning anymore. The phonecalls, the meetings, the constant fighting to get my teen to attend school, chasing camhs, doctors appointments, referrals for counselling, referrals for parenting courses, doing the courses and learning stuff and trying to incorporate that into our lives and my teen not consistently sticking to the things we set out. The late night phone calls asking where she is because she stops communicating, or because her phone has run out of battery, or she’s broken another phone, or she’s lost it, or run out of data. The police getting involved because of the amount of times in the last six months I’ve had to call them because I don’t know where she is. The literal begging for addresses, for parents phone numbers, for friends phone numbers being met with accusations and violence and refusal. Having a rejected EHCP despite low attendance, despite self harm, despite an overdose, despite waiting lists for ADHD and Autism and a family connection. Having a family support worker who actually has been really wonderful but has come at a stage where I am already at a complete loss, burned out and so damn depressed with my own life that I just don’t have the energy to keep fighting this.
That’s what it is, a fight with a broken system. A system that doesn’t care about the wellbeing of young people, but only cares about adhering to uniform policy and high attendance. With the threat of fines and prosecution because of low attendance. I am constantly fighting for my daughter to access education but with a school that won’t offer alterative provision and with a daughter that is emotionally dysregulated and just won’t engage with anything that is offered or set out. I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t think there is anything else I can do. No one in this household is happy or well from this level of constant stress but no one is offering any solutions to fix it. It’s just “you need to get her to school” okay but how? How do I do that with a 14 year old that is almost as tall as me, physically strong and will lash out? How am I supposed to get someone to engage when they completely refuse?
We’ve had three days of school for the autumn term, but had an authorised absence for counselling one morning and now the refusal has begun because she got up late and that set off her anxiety about getting there on time so she’s just staying in bed. School will say oh she had a great start but for here it wasn’t a great start, it was every morning full of stress and anxiety of ‘will she be going in or will she go missing?’ or ‘what will I have to fight today’ and promises which feel like bribes just to convince her to go. I’m not coping with any of this well and I honestly don’t know how to live through it. I start counselling myself on Friday with a therapist that is neurodivergent and has experience professionally and personally with school refusal. We are having another camhs assessment for trauma pathway tomorrow morning and have a meeting scheduled with the school later this week.
Committing myself to evil atrocities in my second full playthrough as The Dark Urge origin character was pretty fun and something I really recommend for a second playthrough. I also used it as a chance to do things I had missed out on in my first playthrough of Balders Gate 3 where I did mostly play a good character. Now I’m considering could I actually try and play in a harder difficulty and see just what else I’ve missed because honestly I’m pretty sure there is a lot. This will contain plot spoilers for Balders Gate 3 and some choices I made for companion quests.
My Dark Urge Character
The Dark Urge is a really interesting way to play Balders Gate 3 as it adds such an interesting origin story. I wanted to commit to an evil playthrough to see some different choices not only for my own character but how much I could corrupt my companions too. Having already played through Balders Gate 3 and completing the game, as well as reading the PSN trophy list I did know where that was going to go but the ride along the way was very fun and had some unexpected surprises. I really liked that the character still had a choice to try and repress their evil nature but I completely basked in the blood of my enemies, and friends in some cases. Ending the game in the name of Bhaal, the god of murder and seeing my character sitting there in Orin’s clothes on a throne watching the world end was pretty glorious.
I mean, she looks pretty evil. Both playthroughs I’ve completed now have been playing a magic caster, first as a warlock and this time I was a sorcerer. The wild magic surges certainly added to the chaos from time to time which was sometimes to my benefit but not always. I am pretty sure I put all 12 levels into sorcerer as well but I’m pretty interested in trying a multiclass build to see how that works out. I did this playthrough as a Lolth-Sworn Drow as I thought it would give me an edge with intimidation checks and helped me pass through some encounters without combat.
Corrupting Companions to do Evil Things
My party for most of the playthrough was Astarion as a Rogue Assassin, Shadowheart as a Life Domain Cleric and Lae’zel as a Battlemaster Fighter. I did switch in Minthara for a lot of Act 2 because she seemed pretty at home in the Shadowcursed lands and felt for story reasons she was a great choice. However, in my first playthrough of BG3 I accidentally shot and killed Lae’zel early on and missed all of the Githyanki plot so I wanted to do that this time around. Will left the party after the raid on the emerald grove and Karlach attacked me on sight for my atrocities. Gale was there. I did use him a little bit but as I was playing a magic character I didn’t have much need for him but I did see more of his companion quest this time around which I kind of failed to do previously. This playthrough I had Astarion commit to becoming an Ascended vampire and Shadowheart become a Dark Justiciar. It was pretty brutal but actually made some combat encounters a lot easier than on a good playthrough. I’d like to say some of that is because I learned a lot in my first playthrough of BG3 and kind of know what I’m doing now but it also helps that I wasn’t completely and utterly outnumbered. I did do one redeeming thing though and that is to pet the dog.
How Would I Play Again?
Balders Gate 3 has a lot of replayability value because you can’t see everything in one playthrough and because there are some interactions you can get locked out off based on if you’re good or evil. Or you end up making mistakes, and there are plenty of options to make mistakes, and so can’t see certain things through to the end. There is so much content available in Balders Gate 3 that makes playing a second or third playthrough desirable with more challenging difficulties, different classes to try and play and character companion quests to enjoy. Not to mention the opportunity to play as an Origin character and see how things are different in comparison to how they are as a companion.
I think if I were to play again I would probably go for a ‘good’ character approach again and try completing some of the quests I’ve still not managed to solve. I would like to try and complete the game on tactician difficulty although it’s a little intimidating but now I kind of know what I’m doing, what I can get away with and how to make things more challenging or easier on myself I feel I would be able to do most of a playthrough in this mode. There are some legendary weapons, gear and items I’d like to try and get. I think if I were to play again I’d try playing a physical class more than a magic one. I did start a ranger character playthrough but I feel like I’ve made too many mistakes on that one or missed way too much to be able to make the most of the playthrough. I’ve tried to learn more about D&D in general too which has helped me understand some of the rules a bit better like advantage, concentration spells and just how much you should/can do between each long rest as well as how character stats work.
