This is a collaborative post
When you have kids, particularly younger children, it can be really hard to find time together. This can lead to all sorts of issues with communication and each partner not feeling appreciated enough. Starting with some online therapy with somewhere like ReGain can really help you to intially start having these discussions and putting time together to celebrate your relationship which is the foundation of your family life.
As parents, we struggle to find the time for each other and sometimes feel like passing ships. Setting aside some time together might not feel spontaneous and exciting but it’s very hard to be those things when you’re main responsibilities are your children. If you can schedule in some time weekly or monthly to dedicate to each other and your relationship then ultimately you will feel more respect and appreciation from your partner. We get so caught up with doing everything to provide safety and security that the romance can be left behind.
Having a nice meal together once a week when the kids are in bed. Having a weekly date night in the home doesn’t have to be fancy or include dressing up (although go for it if it makes you feel good!) but just having a bottle of wine and a conversation about what’s going on in the week with your favourite film just helps to connect you to what’s going on in the other person’s schedule.
If you’re able to rely on family or friends for babysitters then take the time to have a date night. Go for a drive together or, when you are able to, have a meal. Grab your favourite takeaway and watch a film together. Having some real couple time knowing the kids are safe and looked after can get you to relax and have a bit of fun together. Before we had Felix we used to take advantage of Evie being at her dads a lot. This included a week in Norway, weekends in London, hotel stays for birthday celebrations and monthly cinema visits. It’s harder now with everything going on and having Felix because he’s still so small but we do try and make a bit of time together when we can.
Try and make an effort for anniversaries and birthdays. These are days to really celebrate the person you are with and the amount of time you’ve spent together. Plan something nice, again a favourite meal, book the time off work. Last year Adam and I went to a comedy show and it was just the best night. It was the first time we’d actually been in the car just the two of us and we had a great night.
Ultimately, it all comes back to communication and you need to be able to talk about anything that’s bothering you. Online therapy can really help connect the dots and highlight any issues you might be having, talking through how you might feel more loved and appreciated and strengthening that foundation of your family.
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