Candyfloss & Dreams

Author: Kat Candyfloss

Heating The Home This Autumn

Heating the home during autumn usually means increasing your monthly budget to cope with rising energy costs. As a low income family and one that relies heavily on student finance to get us through each semester whilst Adam is studying, we really need to do everything we can to stick to our budget. I am already feeling the cold in the mornings when I wake up and now we’ve brought home a newborn baby so maintaining a warm temperature through autumn and into the winter months is high on our list of priorities. Finding the most cost-effective way to do so though, is a challenge.

Some families choose to do this by installing central heating pumps, which is an effective and efficient way of heating the home. A pump helps circulate hot water around the home rapidly, from the boiler to the radiators. This helps keep the home warm without breaking the bank.

Heating The Home Effectively

Using a central heating pump is an effective method of heating the home but it isn’t always an option for all households. We have night storage heaters and we only have one energy bill to worry about however we do notice a significant weekly increase when it gets colder. As we use electric when it comes to heating our home, like other families do, there is an option to get a smart meter installed, which helps record the exact amount of energy we use. There are also plenty of apps available that help you keep track of how much you’re spending and even how to cut down on this amount.

When it comes to heating the home we try to limit which heaters we turn on. I usually start with turning on the one in the hallway as that is the one that makes the biggest difference in the morning. It’s much nicer walking out of the bedroom into an already warm hallway. Often, the heat has had time to warm the other rooms too. Luckily, living in a flat, it doesn’t take long to warm up and this helps us keep the costs down. We also make use of a halogen heater for the living room. Keeping the living room door closed, and turning this on for just a small amount of time, heats up our living room very quickly. Ideally, I try to find ways of heating the home that are also energy-efficient.

I find using a slow cooker rather than our oven a great way to save a money and energy whilst heating our home. Plus, there is nothing better than smelling a delicious stew or soup cooking throughout the day, especially if I can dip into it a few times during the day! Hot food really makes a difference in keeping me warm. I am also a fan of all things soft and fluffy so we have plenty of throws and blankets to use. I use these in the living room to cosy up on the sofa with the kids or to put a few extra layers on the bed at night. I am a big fan of layers of clothing too. Big, warm fluffy socks and a soft dressing gown after a hot bath can make a huge difference in keeping us all warm at the end of a cold day.

So there you have it, a few money-saving methods of heating the home that I like to use. How do heat your home while keeping costs down?

October 24, 2018
Breastfeeding Just Hasn’t Worked Out

Breastfeeding hasn’t worked for us.

I think we all prepare for pregnancy with the absolute best intentions, wants and wishes for our baby and that always means making informed decisions on how we will parent. I really wanted to breastfeed Felix. I managed ten weeks with my daughter and I really wanted to get past that stage with Felix because it was going to be great for him, good for me and, best of all, free. I got the clothes, the pumps to help, stuff to boost my supply…everything you can think of to get me off to a good start with feeding my baby but actually, nothing prepares you when the circumstances are against you and so, it’s with quite a lot of sadness that we have stopped breastfeeding and moved over to bottle feeding with formula. I felt incredibly guilty whilst I was making that decision although he has had a few good feeds from me, which I’m really happy with, and I wish it had been longer.

Breastfeeding is not easy

I think the first thing that was against me was my blood loss during my c-section. It left me feeling incredibly weak and drained and the lack of blood and fluid in my body, despite the absolute gallons of water I was drinking, the iron tablets when I came home and all the breastmilk boosting teas, foods, vitamins my milk just didn’t come in. My boobs didn’t ‘fill up’ as they did with my daughter and whilst there was clearly stuff there from hand expressing and some pumping there just wasn’t enough stuff to satisfy my son. The support I had in hospital was fantastic, they really tried everything with me but I have to say the equipment I had – big boobs, lack of mobility and “soft” (I was told at hospital) nipples it just seemed like a combination of things that I couldn’t really battle against.

The exhaustion was also holding me back. I knew I needed to sleep to recover with the blood loss but I was knackered after well over 30 hours of being awake from labour and then that weird adrenaline baby gaze buzz you have after. Adam had gone home to get some sleep and the midwives in recovery were amazing and helped me with everything as I was waiting for the spinal block to wear off. I feel like I’ve now caught up on sleep but I’m still tired because you just are with a newborn, because sleep is broken through the night and when you have an older child “sleeping when the baby sleeps” just isn’t really possible. Especially when you fall asleep on the sofa and they keep waking you up because they want a hug, or a drink, or a snack, or have a question, or want to watch TV, or want to go to the shop…it’s very hard to get in rest when you have a family.

I was totally overwhelmed with Adam going back to University and Work, he starts his first shift tonight at his new job and will be working from 11pm-7am for four nights, then have four nights at home. I was starting to get really worried about how I would physically and mentally cope with such a big lack of sleep whilst I was still recovering from my c-section and so soon after the birth. I hate that dads only get two weeks off as paternity leave. No wonder so many breastfeeding mums decide not to continue because the sheer pressure of doing it all on your own is really hard. I felt that actually, the more routine of bottle feeding – despite doing it on demand, would hopefully work a lot better with the school run in the morning. I have to leave the house at 8am to get my daughter to school for 8.40am, and then it’s a good twenty minute walk back, longer at the moment with a pram and whilst I’m still building my stamina up. I am hoping that we can get into the routine of a 6.30am breakfast and then when we’re back at 9.15am we can get another bottle ready.

But despite all this, and despite the fact that actually I feel we’ve made the right decision to stop breastfeeding because the evenings Adam is here, and during his nights off, he can help with a few night time wake ups which allows me the time to recover. I no longer feel like I won’t be able to cope or scared of being home during the night alone. I know longer feel like I’m completely ignoring my daughter to meet my sons needs. The guilt is still strong and I am still really sad. Having a baby brings about so many hormones and changes, having a c-section can make you feel guilty for not doing it properly. so I’ve cried some tears over it. I’ve been reasurred by the health visitor who said it is okay to feel sad about it and to feel like I’ve missed out but actually we still get lots of lovely snuggles and bonding time and that actually he really isn’t fussed because he’s fed and sleeping and clean. I still feel guilty. I feel like I’ve let myself and my son down a little bit for not persevering. I do feel like I could have tried a bit harder but then I think if I had I’d be struggling more emotionally with feeling so overwhelmed and I know I wouldn’t have been able to take care of myself as much recovery wise if I had stuck with it.

Breastfeeding or bottle feeding: Make an informed decision and go with it

I have always believed in making informed decisions based on what is best for the big picture; for the whole family, but most of all I am an advocate of fed is best. Not because it’s the bare minimum, because I know breastmilk is best for babies, and because all of us just want our babies fed regardless. But I think fed is best stands for that bigger picture, for a mother and baby’s post natal well being and because we all just want to be the best parents we can be. For me, that means being tired but functioning and mentally well for both of my children, and my partner, who has just witnessed me going through major surgery to bring his son into the world, become a father and is now coping with University work and a new job. He has a lot on his plate, and the last thing he needs is a girlfriend that isn’t coping with her mental health.

No matter how you feed your baby, you are doing the best job, you are doing the right thing and you have made the best decision for you. You, your mental health and your well being is just as vital and important because that is what will help you cope with the transition into motherhood.

October 21, 2018
My Tips for Writing a Book
I’ve been writing a book on my pregnancy and now I’m in the final stages of editing it so that I can get it ready to publish. It’s been a lot of hard work especially since Felix was born but ultimately I had to wait until he had been born to share that final part of the story.

I’m writing about having a high risk pregnancy because of my BMI and after doing some research found lots of other women felt guilty and that they were forced into making decisions they didn’t fully want to commit to. This lead me to writing a book on how BMI really affects pregnancy and the fact that just because you are high risk does not mean your maternal rights are relinquished to the powers that be.

7 Tips For Writing a Book

Writing a book about this experience has involved a lot of time, research, edits, tears and doing this all the time whilst pregnant and having a newborn baby. Most of the work was done pre baby but there’s still a lot to do before I’m ready to publish. However I wanted to share some top tips on things for those that also want to write a book and I hope that these help you.
1. Set yourself a publishing deadline. This will make you work for it. I have mine set for 30th November as I felt that was enough time to research, write and edit. I knew I would have to finalise my book with a newborn and that pushed me to getting most of the work done before he was here.
2. Do your research and make sure your sources are credible if you’re writing non fiction. I’ve made it very clear in my book that it’s all about sharing my own personal experience having a high risk pregnancy. The book is more about the importance of I individualised care and I in no way recommend any medical procedure as I am not qualified to do so. I do however reinforce the fact that women have rights and can accept or decline any decision based on informed consent and discussion.
3. Set yourself a daily word count. This will ensure that the content gets done and the hard work can be done during editing.
4. Edit a chapter at a time. I found editing a whole book a bit intimidating and overwhelming so I am going through a chapter at a time, sometimes a couple in one day but making sure I take breaks away from the words so that I’m editing in the best way possible.
5. Get a proof reader. This is next on my to do list and I’m hoping to have a couple of people proof read what I have to help me further the editing process.
6. Print and read. Before I do my final draft ready for publishing I will be printing and reading the book myself so that I know it makes sense. I always find its easier to spot mistakes on paper than on the screen although I intend to only make a ebook and kindle version of my book. I still want it to be right.
7. Next up I need to learn all I can about self publishing so that I can officially launch and hopefully at least one person will buy it! I’m excited about being an author even if it’s in a different direction than I ever thought but still, an author all the same, it’s a bit of a dream come true really!
October 19, 2018
It Isn’t Always Easy – Preparing Your Child for an Upcoming Move
It Isn’t Always Easy: Preparing Your Child for an Upcoming Move

Most families will, at some point, move into a new home or to a new city. A move is not something that is light and fun for all and it can be quite disruptive, especially for children. Kids who do not know what to expect and those who face anxiety over the move are the most affected and may not completely understand what is going on.

Preparing your child for an upcoming move is the best decision you can make and will help your child feel at ease too. Below, we will talk about what you can do, as a parent, to help introduce the idea of moving to your child.

Talking About Moving with Toddlers and Preschool-Aged Children

Toddlers and infants are often the easiest to move with because there is not too much explaining that needs to go into it as they may not be able to grasp the idea of the move yet. Preschoolers often understand and need some reassurance about the move.

Some tips to help you talk about moving with toddlers and preschool-aged children:
- Visit the new home a few times before the move, if it is nearby
- Use a story to explain the move and what your child can expect to happen or find a book about moving and read it to them
- Always use clear explanations about the move
- Try to avoid making big changes at the same time as the move as this can cause a lot of anxiety
- Involve your child as much as possible when packing
Talking about Moving with Children Who Are School Aged

Children who are 5 and older, or in kindergarten or older, will need to be walked through the moving process. Children of this age will understand that there is something going on around them and keeping them in the dark will fuel anxiety.

Tips to help you talk about moving with a school-aged child:
- Explain to them where you are moving and visit the new house and area
- Let them have a party with their friends before the move
- Explain the process of everything being packed up and placed on the moving truck
- Use simple and clear sentences to explain the situation
- Allow them to help with the move and talk about the positives of a new home and city
Other Things to Consider When Moving with Children

Before you set your move date in stone, think about your children first. It is often recommended that you move in the summer, this way, children are not faced with starting a new school and leaving their friends midyear.

Teens are often more understanding about a move and do not need as much preparation or talks beforehand, however, you should still let them know the plan and talk about your expectations and what they can expect on the day of the move.

Once the move is completed, take your child out to explore the new area and create a positive experience.
October 11, 2018
Trick Yourself into Making Savings
Image source

Saving is not always easy, but even small amounts soon start to build into something worth having. Most of us live from payday to payday, with very little cash to spare. So how can you save some money, without even noticing it is happening?

Analyse What You Spend

Take a close look at what you spend every month, and see how much of them are unnecessary. This may well show up old subscriptions you no longer use, or money being wasted in other areas. Cancel anything you do not need, and straight away you will have some money to save and be no worse off.

Look at things like book clubs, for instance. Do you really need to pay them a monthly fee when you can get all the books you want for free at a library? Do you have to pay into the club that sends you a record every month? With streaming music online now that should not be needed. These are just a couple of examples, there are many other things you could stop paying for.

Make Saving Automatic

There are several ways you can make your savings automatic so that you do not even think about them:
- Most salaries are paid into a bank account these days. Ask your employer to pay some of yours into another account. Most companies offer this sort of service to their staff, so take advantage of it.
- There are apps that will round up any purchases you make, and save the money for you. If you, for instance, spend £1.60 the apps round it up to £2 and puts the 40p into your saving account. It is such small amounts you will not even notice it is happening until you see how much it has mounted up in your savings account.
Automatic saving is a great way to build up a decent sum of money without the hassle of having to physically go and put it into a saving account.

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Compare Rates

Buying a major item is not saving you any money, but finding the best interest rate could save you a lot. If you have to buy something like a new car, take a look at a vehicle finance calculator to find the best deal for you. Do this for everything and you’ll always get the best deal.

Interest rates can vary greatly, but the most expensive way of borrowing money is on credit cards. You could save yourself quite a bit by converting them to a bank loan, which will be at a fixed rate with a predetermined end date. Credit cards can go on for years and cost you a fortune.

Avoid Impulse Buys

Impulse buys tend to be when we buy things we do not really need, so avoid them at all times. Just stand back from the purchase you nearly made for a few minutes and ask yourself if you really need it. Generally, with an impulse buy the answer is no, so save the money instead.

You may be surprised at how quickly your savings will grow, and sometimes it can become an obsession. Don’t let it overtake your life, just be sensible and save what you can afford to.

This is a collaborative post.
October 11, 2018