Candyfloss & Dreams

Author: Kat Candyfloss

Why I’m Writing A Pregnancy Book

I’ve decided to write a pregnancy book

I’m writing a pregnancy book even though I have only been pregnant twice, however, both times I’ve been classed as high risk. Once with a BMI of 30+ and again with a BMI of 45+ and for a previous c-section. I’ve blogged a lot about my second pregnancy and how it’s been relatively straight forward however most of the restrictions I’ve had have not been due to my previous surgery but actually because of how fat I am. I want to say that I’ve actually had a straightforward pregnancy and that actually my body takes to pregnancy pretty well despite the few aches and pains in the last few weeks. However, having a high BMI during my pregnancy, whilst not ideal, has made me feel judged and ashamed.

Despite my high BMI I have had excellent blood pressure, my baby has grown as expected, excellent iron levels and high platelet levels. I have remained as active as possible with swimming and taken vitamin supplements to make sure my baby is getting as many nutrients as possible. I’ve been mobile, done a lot of reading and research, put birth plan A B and C together and I have had no issues. I’ve experienced lots of movement, Baby is easy to feel through my tummy and his heart rate has always been as expected.

But because of my size I have felt I have had to explain myself every time I meet a new health care professional. I’ve had to go through hoops to put the birth plan in place that I want. I have been told that I am highly at risk of another c-section. Whilst I accept I am a higher risk for certain things having a healthy pregnancy affected by BMI which, so far, hasn’t had a detrimental affect at all, has made me feel really guilty. It’s something I have constantly felt the need to justify, defend and bring up by saying “This wasn’t plan A, I wanted to lose weight first!” And that is the truth. Perhaps I am lucky enough to be quite fertile and not struggle with conceiving as I can assure you it really did only take the one time for us. I also feel that it’s stopped me from enjoying my pregnancy as much and I don’t want other women to feel like that.

Why Am I writing a pregnancy book about high BMI in pregnancy?

So I am writing a pregnancy book which includes all the research I have been able to find on women with high BMI in pregnancy to help other women make informed decisions about how and where they decide to give birth. I have included letters I have written to my consultant which has lead me to having much more positive, upfront discussions about my care. Where to find out the best information on the hospital you have decided to book in with and I talk in depth about maternal rights in pregnancy.

My hope is that I will also share a second positive birth story, however that happens, and why I believe individualised care is so important. I’m not writing this book from a medical perspective but instead I’m writing it from one mother to another to help raise awareness that there needs to be more research into high BMI pregnancies and that actually, no matter your BMI, you can still have a positive pregnancy and birth. I hope my book will inform and inspire other women to feel confident in their choices for their pregnancy and ultimately help to reduce them experiencing shame, guilt, peri and post natal depression.

I am looking to self publish my book at the end of November and I hope that it is as interesting and informative to other women as I have found writing it.

September 19, 2018
Starting University as a Mature Student

Being a mature student is quickly becoming a bit of a norm in this country particularly with the rising popularity of access to higher education courses being offered. My partner Adam completed his social sciences access course in July and has accepted a place studying Criminology at Winchester university. Studying as a mature student is a great way to retrain but it does come with its own set of challenges.

Adam applied for university very close to the UCAS deadline date during his access course in January. He applied for five university placements with two being at Winchester which is our closest university. One required him to pass his GCSE in Maths and one just requires him to pass his access course. Adam didn’t feel confident he would pass maths (although we have since found out that he has passed – but has remained on the course he wanted) so decided to confirm his choice and select criminology as his firm choice. As soon as student finance applications opened he applied and was told his finance allowance for the year.

University Mature Student – Getting Student Loans

As a mature student living away from home I had to fill in my details to support his application. Student finance is calculated on the previous years tax so Adams finance was calculated by our household income for 2016/2017 as he was planning on starting university in September 2018. As a mature student with a household income of less than £16,000 that year he was able to apply for

Tuition Fee loan

Maintenance loan

Maintenance Loan top up (for lower incomes)

Parental Grant

Adult Dependant Grant

He decided to apply for all of these as even though we would both be working when he started university I was three months pregnant and we were expecting our income to take a bit of a fall whilst I recover from birth and adjust to life with a newborn. We were then told what we had been accepted for. I think Adam is also entitled to a low income bursary from the university which isn’t payable in May. Apparently there is no need to apply as it is calculated automatically from Student Finance. As far as we are concerned, as a mature student with an adult dependant and two children any and all financial help is going to make a difference.

After finding out what was to be awarded it was just a case of waiting for his official results to come through so he could inform the university and then have his offer changed from conditional to unconditional. He had a start date for 19th September to enroll with lectures beginning the week after.

Saving Money as a Mature Student

As a mature university student Adam has applied for a three year NUS discount card for £30. This allows lots of discounts on clothes, cinema and meals out. As a mature student he also qualified for a one year 16-25 rail card. To get this rail card there is a form you need to print out which you take to university when you enroll to have stamped. This then allows you to get a rail card reducing travel costs. Whilst Adam is learning to drive he will be getting the train to and from University every day. With the railcard he saves around 1/3 on his travel costs which will be a saving of around £300 each semester.

The biggest challenge now is juggling that work life study and family balance. We will have a newborn in the house in October just after he has started university as well as juggling getting Evie to and from school. Adam will continue to work 29 hours a week from Sunday until Thursday during the evening and will be studying at university for three or four days a week. Time management is key for a mature student at university with a family at home. It does not leave a lot of time for the Social side of university life however as we are a family husband priorities are with studying and working.

Here are some top tips to help you adjust to life as a mature student

1. Don’t feel you will be the oldest one there. It’s very unlikely that you will be as university does not have an age limit. Some people enjoy studying throughout their lives and you are sure to find someone studying to increase their career prospects or because university works around their family.

2. Get yourself a planner and set yourself a schedule so that you can plan your time wisely.

3. Do consider getting a discount card and rail card to help you budget better and save money on essentials.

4. You don’t have to sacrifice time with your family. It is a juggle but you can prepare for things like days out together or date nights when you have your schedule. As a mature student you still need time to put the books away and enjoy a break from time to time.

5. It’s likely your student finance will be a buffer for your wages so budget wisely and consider paying things in advance with each payment you get such as rent. Our plan is to pay £1500 each semester which is around ten weeks rent and then top up with Adams wages.

6. Student finance affects benefits. Universal Credit will take all of the income into consideration but I believe allow a certain amount for travel, books and essentials. Tax Credits do not ask about maintenance loans but will want to know about the total adult dependant grant. When you start university you should make this clear to any benefits that you receive to avoid being sent huge overpayment bills.

Being a mature student has a lot of benefits and if you plan your time wisely it can be a great move for your career.

September 17, 2018
What To Expect in the Third Trimester

The third trimester is a hard one in pregnancy. Week by week until Baby is here you and him are getting bigger. Sleep is hard and uncomfortable and sometimes you’re hit with the same symptoms you had in the first trimester. Over the last few weeks I have developed a proper waddle and getting out and about has been hard. In fact I have found from about 35 weeks really hard and I’ve had some tears. I’ve written about all the hormones and emotions I’ve been feeling in pregnancy and how overwhelming they can be.

I have been uncomfortable, my bladder is not what it was, I’m waking up every two hours to pee, I’m hungry all the time, the pressure on my bladder gets a bit much, I struggle getting in and out of the bath, I’ve had pelvis pain and I’m just generally feeling a bit sorry for myself to be honest.

I know that it’s not long now and we are just a few weeks away from meeting my baby and birth will happen. I know that soon it won’t be uncomfortable movements but sleep deprivation and bleeding nipples that make me cry. But I have to say the third trimester, particularly from week 35 has been the hardest for me.

The Third Trimester Box by Baboo Box

Babboo Box are a pregnancy subscription service offering four boxes for pregnancy and post natal. Each box is suitable for each trimester and I was so grateful to receive the Third Trimester Box which is set up with products to make this tough stage of pregnancy a little easier.

Inside the box you have:

a massage roller

cooling and soothing gel for puffy ankles and legs

a wheat bag for hot/cold therapy

baby shower games and mock tail card with straw and umbrella

lip balm

Many of these items are perfect additions to your hospital bag but the cooling gel has been a particular help to me in these last few weeks where I’ve noticed some puffiness in my ankles. Extreme, severe of sudden swollen ankles and hands can be a sign of pre eclampsia and needs a conversation with your midwife however some puffiness and swelling in this late stage of pregnancy, Edema, is quite common and something I have noticed these last few weeks particularly at the end of the day. Rubbing a little of the gel around the swelling has felt amazing and I think has contributed to a better night sleep.

The wheat bag can be heated or cooled depending on your needs and is lovely to relieve any back pain. The lip balm smells amazing too and is an essential in labour, especially if you’re using gas and air.

Having this box of really lovely and useful treats in this last stage of pregnancy has been amazing!

Discomfort and Symptoms

A waddle when I walk and the need to wee every 20 minutes or so. I’ve been avoiding long walks or going places that don’t have a toilet stop on the way. We’ve also forked our for taxi and bus fares to get places that I would usually be able to walk to or had to resort to asking for lifts. At my 36 week appointment I asked for further midwife appointments to be done at my home as I was planning a Home birth anyway.

As the day goes on I’ve had some pelvic pain of which the best thing is exercise but that’s been hard to accomplish and I’ve just not felt like leaving the house. My swimming costume no longer fits and I have struggled finding a plus size maternity costume that doesn’t have a halter neck which I don’t find very supportive. I’m having to switch sides at night when sleeping and using two pregnancy support pillows for my back and legs.

The Third Trimester Hunger

Now this has been unreal I have to say. I am trying to eat little and often throughout the day and continue to drink plenty of water, raspberry red leaf tea and the occasional hot drink. I should be avoiding fizzy drinks and I’ve cut down on them but I still have either Pepsi max or lemonade at least once or twice. I’m having cereal for breakfast and then a mid morning smoothie. I’ve mostly been craving salty or savoury dishes so chicken salads with croutons and anchovies have been something to look forward to and a yoghurt. I’m hungry mid afternoon and will try and hold out until dinner around 6pm if I can by drinking more water or having another yoghurt.

The evenings though, that’s where it really gets me and twenty minutes after I’ve eaten I feel really hungry again. I don’t like drinking too much at night because I already have a really broken sleep and I’m trying to avoid eating all the junk food. I’m going to work on adding more whole grains into my evening meal and more vegetables but mostly I just feel the need to constantly eat. I have honestly not known hunger like third trimester hunger!

Am I Nesting?

I don’t think so but clutter is really annoying me and I want big open spaces. I’ve drawn into myself a lot more and I don’t really like leaving my home at this late stage of pregnancy. However this has lead to a lack of stimulation and a feeling of restlessness and boredom.

The Waiting Game

Now I just feel like I’m waiting for those first signs of labour to be honest. The show, the first period like cramps and a feeling of baby dropping lower into my pelvis. Baby is head down and has been for practically all of my third trimester of pregnancy but I’ve had no other signs so to speak. Now we are just waiting for him to arrive!

For more pregnancy content please head to my hub post which contains links to all my relevant pregnancy based blog posts. My second High Bmi Pregnancy.

September 16, 2018
How To Naturally Induce Labour

Thinking of ways to induce labour? I’m currently pregnant for the second time and I am just weeks away from having my second baby. I wanted to share some of the things I will be doing to hopefully induce labour at home and help me have a positive birth experience. If you are currently pregnant and want to induce labour it is important to talk to your midwife about this and discuss ways that will be safe for you. There is little scientific research on whether naturally inducing labour works. It is important to note that some forms of induction of labour can lead to higher rates of assisted deliveries and c-sections. Did you try to induce labour at home? I would love to know if any of these worked for you!

Why Induce Labour?

Many women when they reach full time are both excited about meeting their baby and anxious about the birth. Usually they’re feeling a bit fed up, especially as things start going over the due date. You might find having a due month easier to deal with. It is important to note that only around 5% of babies are born on their due date and most babies are born in week 41 of pregnancy. Your baby will arrive in perfect time on their own schedule. There might be things you can try to help bring labour on at home and avoid going overdue. You don’t have to do any of these things and can simply wait. If you are offered medical intervention or induction and there are no known risks or complications you are within your rights to refuse induction of labour.

Why Do I Want to Induce Labour?

I want to induce labour myself, at home, because I want to avoid having another c-section. I had a lot of problems getting over about 4cm dilated during my last labour and I think one of the big issues for me is fear. This time I am doing a lot more to eliminate fear by planning a home birth and hypnobirthing. Hiring a doula is really helping me prepare for labour and birth too. My enviornment is completely different now. I’m in a happy, loving relationship too and that has made a huge difference to how I am feeling now we are approaching birth.

The Benefits of Oxytocin: The Love Hormone

The main hormone needed for your uterus to contract well and for labour to start at home is Oxytocin. When pregnant women are induced medically they can be given synthetic forms of Oxytocin. However, there are plenty of ways you can naturally allow Oxytocin levels to rise which then bring on contractions.

1. Educate Yourself – learn about how your body works to birth your baby. We know how they come out but often we don’t know what type of environment we need, how our uterus contracts and that in itself can lead to fear. Fear is the enemy of oxytocin and can get you trapped in the fear, tension, pain cycle. This doesn’t need to be from NHS antenatal classes. In fact, I actually recommend The Positive Birth channel on YouTube or a Hypnobirthing class. If you want to induce labour learning on how to increase oxytocin is an amazing place to start.

2. Learn to relax – Again, Hypnobirthing can really help with this. There are plenty of guided hypnobirthing sessions on YouTube that can be really beneficial. Listen to this before you go to sleep, drift off to it. I’ve heard that 16 times is the magic number for your subconscious to start listening so if you can listen to a video for 16 times to help you get in a relaxed state this will massively benefit you during labour. It will help to eliminate fear, get you into the labour land zone and can make inducing labour at home a very relaxing experience. I recommend Mindful Hypnobirthing which includes some free hypnobirthing recordings and creating a playlist on YouTube of your favourite hypnobirthing videos so you can plug in and listen when in labour.

Natural Ways to Induce Labour at Home

Firstly, it’s worth considering that they only way to really induce labour is to relax and wait. Try and eliminate as much stress as possible. I say this because if you’re trying to bring labour it’s still not exactly natural. This is because you’re not waiting for it to begin spontaneously but in fact trying to rush and encourage things. Induction of labour is a completely personal choice. However, if you want to try to induce labour at home without medical intervention there are a few things that are usually safe for you to try. As always, discuss with your midwife first to make sure it’s suitable for you, your body and pregnancy.

Sex

The most talked about way to get labour going is sex. A lot of people say what got the baby in will help get the baby out and this is because sex raises your level of Oxytocin, the love hormone, and this can start contractions. You might find in the second or early stages of the third trimester that sex or an orgasm can lead to Braxton Hicks contractions. This is because your body is producing that hormone and, if you think about it, its a pretty natural thing to happen. It seems that three times is the magic number. Lets face it, if you’re feeling up to it why not enjoy yourselves a bit as a couple before your baby is born anyway. Sex is usually completely safe in pregnancy unless you have a medical reason not to or your waters have broken.

Breast Massage & Nipple Stimulation

Another way to get Oxytocin flowing is breast massage and nipple stimulation. I believe the idea is to stimulate a baby suckling at the breast. You may find, however, that you’re feeling a bit tender and sensitive. So if you try and it is actually causing discomfort then it may cause more stress and frustration. It is really important to be kind to yourself during these last few weeks. Focus on things that will make you feel good, relaxed and happy.

Walking and Exercise

If you feel up to it, walking and exercise are other ways that might induce labour. Long walks are good for you and they might actually help you through those initial contractions. Apparently, the pressure of babies head on the cervix as you walk can encourage your cervix to ripen and thin. You can also try sitting on a birthing ball at home or even just sitting on the toilet. These also help your baby get in a good position for birth. It is safe to exercise all the way through pregnancy until you feel like you want to stop. You do want to retain some energy for labour and birth but if walking or exercise make you feel good then continue!

Drinking Raspberry Red Leaf Tea

This one is an interesting one there really isn’t a lot to say that drinking this tea can induce labour. However, it’s quite tasty, contains antioxidants and apparently can help with breast milk supply. It’s really just a nutritional tea. You can start drinking raspberry red leaf tea at 32 weeks of pregnancy. You start drinking one cup a day and gradually increase to up to four cups. Supposedly, building up the levels in your body prior to giving birth can help your uterus contract more effectively. This may help shorten the second or pushing phase. If you like herbal teas and you want to drink this then go for it, however, some people do not recommend starting it after 40 weeks as it might make contractions intense. It is also not recommended for women that have had a C-Section because of the risk of scar weakening or rupture.

Eating Pineapple

I remember hearing this when I was pregnant with Evie. Apparently, for enough Bromelain to build up in your system you need to eat 7 fresh pineapples to help induce labour. There is conflicting evidence about pineapple though. Some say it’s the acidity of the fruit reacting with your gut that causes contractions which then might stimulate the uterus. However, Bromelain is there and that can help your cervix dilate. I really like pineapple so I’m happy to add that into my diet in the last few weeks leading up to my due date.

Eating Dates

Now this is a new one for me but again I really like dates so I’m happy to try this one. Apparently, eating dates in the last four weeks leading up to your due date might lead to a quicker first phase of labour, more effective dilation of the cervix and intact membranes after contractions had started. Eating dates might not induce labour but they’re tasty and sweet, easy to add to smoothies and easy to snack on. Apparently, six fresh, medjool dates a day is needed to benefit labour. I’m going to start eating more dates from week 36.

Spicy Food

I think eating spicy food to induce labour is a really popular choice for some people but I’m not sure how nice it is. I personally eat quite a lot of spicy food so I will probably continue to do so until labour begins. The idea is to eat something hot and spicy that will stimulate the bowel and that then leads to possible stimulating the uterus to start contracting. Again, just be kind to yourself. If you don’t like spicy food don’t eat something that’s going to make you feel uncomfortable or unwell, it’s really not worth it.

Forms of Medical Induction

If your Midwife or consultant does advise medical induction it’s really important to do your research. Sometimes scaremongering tactics come into play here but it’s important to note that the alternative to induction is to wait and be closely monitored. If you have had a healthy, risk free pregnancy you can absolutely say no to being induced. If, however, you do want to be induced then there are lots of ways that this can be started.

Cervical & Membrane Sweep

A cervical membrane sweep can be offered at around 41 weeks of pregnancy. You may be offered up to three cervical membrane sweeps to induce labour. Some women swear by them and sometimes they fail. If a membrane sweep is going to work it will usually bring contractions on within 48 hours. This is where a midwife or consultant will use their fingers to feel your cervix and try to sweep the membranes away. As they come back into contact with the cervix, hormones are released which may trigger labour to start.

Cervical Ripening Balloon

Depending on your hospital, the cervical ripening balloon can be offered in place of a hormonal gel. The balloon is inserted by a small, soft, silicone tube and filled with a saline solution. It can put pressure on the cervix to encourage dilation to begin. This is usually for around 24 hours and might be enough to induce labour and for contractions to progress.

Artificial Rupture of Membranes

This is usually done to encourage contractions to progress or for speeding up labour. You can always refuse this method of induction if you are feeling well. You can always refuse any form of medical intervention. It can lead to contractions to become quite intense, increase pain and pressure with the babies head directly on the cervix.

Syntocinon Drip

Syntocinon is a synthetic form of Oxytocin. It can speed up contractions and is often used when women are overdue. I had this alongside an epidural because I was told I would not be able to handle the intense pain of the contractions. You do not have to automatically have an epidural at any point in labour, however, if you do want one, make this very clear if you are going in to hospital to be induced so they can have this administered before they use Syntocinon. Having the drip and an epidural increases your chances of an assisted delivery or even unplanned c-section.

For more pregnancy content please head to my hub post which contains links to all my relevant pregnancy based blog posts. My second High Bmi Pregnancy.

September 13, 2018
Luxury Adult Only Holidays
Luxury Adult Only holidays is the dream right? Despite having a child at home Adam and I have had a few adult only holidays. These have mostly been in the form of cruises or weekend city breaks. Now with a second child on the way it may be a little harder to get that luxury adult only holiday in however maybe in the future we will be able to take advantage of another trip. Destination to have a great range of holiday such as Luxury Adult Only Holidays 2018/2019 – Adult Only Holiday Deals and these showcase everything that I want in a luxury adult only trip.

Benefits of Luxury Adult Only Holidays
1. Child free! This doesn’t just mean your own children but it means avoiding a resort designed for families.
2. Focus on what you want to do. Lounging by the pool, an exploration excursion or just having a lay in and late lunch.
3. It doesn’t have to be just about the resort but the travel options as well, particularly if you’re going abroad. Consider starting a luxury adults only break away with your flights and experience elite travel by using a jet card program.
4. Wine o’clock. A chance to let your hair down and enjoy a cocktail or two without worrying about parenting and the possibility of a hangover.
5. Sleeping in. Kids wake up early on holiday and like to stay up late – often resulting in overtired kids which really isn’t a fun experience!
6. Going for luxurious experiences like hiring a nice car or using a luxury car service from ilimoww.com/
A holiday is for you as well and as parents we often forget that we are completely allowed to take a break too. There are so many beautiful destinations to explore and plenty of exclusive for adults resorts around the world. There are loads of great places I’d love to take my kids too but there will always be a part of me that wants to experience a holiday that is, actually, all about me. One thing I would love is a honeymoon in an exotic destination like the Bahamas or Cuba. Beautiful white sands, lots to see and explore, amazing food and it just speaks to me as the ultimate in luxury. Friends have also recommended Mexico as a perfect destination for a luxury break as a couple. Part of me wishes we had escaped one last time whilst I was pregnant to have that holiday together as our trip to Norway seems like forever ago now.

For me, luxury adult only holidays should include a big comfortable bed with fresh sheets and a pool side balcony. I’d love a big Jacuzzi style bathtub and stunning sea views. All inclusive is something I really want to take advantage of as my partner and I love to sample all sorts of food when away from home and that of course also means a view cocktails whilst taking in the sights. We love to get out and about and explore which can be quite hard to do with children in tow, so I’d love to take advantage of some interesting excursions like scuba diving. I have a feeling our luxury adults only holiday is quite a way yet but in the meantime I can totally dream about it!

What makes a luxury adults only holiday for you? Would you still go away as a couple after having children?

This is a collaborative post.
September 11, 2018