Candyfloss & Dreams

Author: Kat Candyfloss

  • My Breastfeeding Story – I Could Not Cope

    My Breastfeeding Story – I Could Not Cope

    I wouldn’t say I’m an advocate for breastfeeding. In fact I have hardly talked about my early day parenting struggles on the blog because I didn’t really think anyone would care but I’ve read countless amount of stories about breastfeeding recently with it being National Breastfeeding Week. I’m not really sure why there needs to be a national breastfeeding week to be honest. I’m not entirely sure why I’m even bothering to write this. So many will disagree, some will agree, a lot of people really wont care but hey, why not share my thoughts and failures too. If it helps. Late to the party, as usual.

    I’ve already written about how I feel like I’ve failed my daughter and all the parenting mistakes and mishaps I’ve had. Well, not all but still. I know that breastfeeding is natural and anyone who wants to and can should and should be free to do it wherever they want. I get that people want to defend the right to feed. I don’t agree that mothers should be ushered into a public bathroom to feed their baby. I think that’s appalling actually. I also don’t understand why it’s a common debate between other parents. How does the way another mother feed their baby affect you? Mothers that bottle feed feel judged, mothers that breastfeed feel judged. Surely, as mothers, we feel judged all the time about every single parenting decision we make, can we not just cool off on this one choice? I once spoke to a midwife who said I couldn’t care less how you feed your baby, as long as the baby is fed what does it matter? I wish more people had this attitude.

    I breastfeed in total for 16 weeks, the majority of it was combination fed and it was awful. It wasn’t beautiful, it was exhausting. I didn’t enjoy it. I didn’t have support. I didn’t want to feed in public because I didn’t want to get my boobs out in all there massive glory. I also needed about eight cushion to support Evie around my flat tyre belly and I was so scared to move properly because I was terrified I’d rip a stitch from my c-section. I don’t think breastfeeding is beautiful in the same way I don’t think child birth is beautiful. It’s just something that happens…I don’t understand comments that say it’s oh so beautiful and glorious and wonderful. I don’t think I’ll ever see it like that.

    My breastfeeding journey was rubbish. When Evie was three weeks old I was told by a nursery nurse I had never met before who came to my house that I was doing a rubbish job, that Evie wasn’t gaining enough weight, that I should give up, that I was a failure. She was absolutely vile to me and I reported her to my health visitor for her attitude. I was 21, I was vulnerable, I was in a horrible relationship, a new mother, recovering from major abominable surgery and I had to face that. So not only was I dealing with the horrible cluster feeds, bleeding nipples, overwhelming tiredness that made me cry, the inability to sleep in my own bed because it was too high for me but to be told I was failing was too much. I gave in, I went to formula and I got a decent night sleep. Evie also started putting on weight. She slept through the night at seven weeks and has done ever since. I don’t feel guilty about my decision to change.

    Having another baby has been a very real topic in our household for the last few months although we haven’t decided when it’s brought back a lot of feelings and questions. Do I really want to breastfeed again? Yes, because I do believe that those first 16 weeks gave Evie some goodness which stopped her being so sickly. I’m going to be less fat which will make movement easier (post birth I mean, because I am losing weight!). I’m going to have a supportive partner who actually loves me. However, I do not want to exclusively breastfeed. I don’t want to attempt to do it in public and that is a totally personal choice. I don’t care if other people want to do it, I don’t want to. I don’t want to be the only one that gets up in the night. I want to be able to go out and see family without being dictated by the boob feeds. I want to express and if that doesn’t work I will formula feed.

    But I worry. I worry if I start breastfeeding that my baby will not take a bottle and then I’ll be stuck doing something that I understand is good and healthy and natural but something I don’t enjoy. Something that makes me feel trapped and scared because I might not do it right. Something that means it will completely be down to me and I don’t want to be the only feeding parent. The thought of it makes me anxious and makes me want to not even try. I don’t care that this makes me selfish, my body is mine. I know people will probably be thinking oh you might feel different next time around, it gets easier, you might enjoy it. I won’t. I know I won’t because I know that I will get those thoughts of NO in my mind so strongly that out of sheer stubborness I won’t feel happy about it if I can’t express, combination feed or use a bottle. I need options in my life.

    So my message is to those that feel like you’re failing for whatever reason you’re not. Don’t let anyone judge your right to choose how you parent, how you feed. Do what works absolutely best for you. Get yourself informed, seek support from and don’t judge yourself. There is a story behind every successful breast and bottle fed baby. Seek them out.

     

  • How Using Blue Revitalises Your Home In 2017

    This is a collaborative post.

    We think of the colour blue for many different reasons: the colour of the sky, the way water shimmers at you, it’s even the metaphorical way to describe to others that we’re feeling sad. However, the use of both bright and warm blue hues in our homes is at the forefront of the design trend this year, so below are a few styles to include in your next home improvement scheme to bring out that true blue feeling.

    Image Source

     

    Loving Leather

     

    We all know leather is super stylish, and offers an extra element of chic or refined furnishing depending on the style you go for. Buying something like a comfy blue chesterfield sofa is the chessmaster in this blue revolution. Upgrading to leather furniture is a great move during the summer. A lot of allergy sufferers will be in full sneeze swing at this time of year, so sitting on a material that doesn’t collect dust mites will be a great benefit for them.

     

    Coating your living room in blue items such as cushions is a great way to incorporate bright colours as well as a relaxed feeling into your home. Similarly, decorating with darker lampshades can offer a cool haven away from the burning summer sun whilst your lights are both off and on.

     

    Designer Denim

     

    We tend to think of denim as a 2000s trend that a lot of people don’t wish to remember. It’s been making a comeback recently, and with good reason! Denim washes are a relaxed colour and won’t have a damaging impact to any open space in a room. They can often come in ‘misty’ shades which will add both a light and dark influence, and look good as a feature wall base. It’s a great way to welcome family and friends alike, and can add a personal touch to ceilings or floors with paint and rugs.

     

    Denim is great for upholstering chairs to add a suede look to them. But if all out denim still makes you uncomfortable, the effect can often be faked as well.

     

    The Cobalt Revolution

     

    A lot of people love the colour blue; it goes well with so many other colours, and adds a modernistic turn to a space if paired with white. If you’re a fan of bolder colour statements, then using a shade such as cobalt is a great way to add life to a living room. It can also bring in a touch of the exterior, with many of us seeing oceans and rivers when we look at it.

     

    Cobalt blue also works as a great accent colour, and was employed to full effect as one last season. Professional designers are a big fan of the shade due to its versatility and multiple style combos.

     

    Blue will always be a colour that’s in style, and common and calm enough for all types of people to use it. Consider these helpful tips if you want to overhaul your living room to add in some blue renegades this summer!

  • 4 Ways To Make Your Life More Convenient

    This is a collaborative post.

    Image source

     

    We could all do with more hours in the day and more hands to get everything done. So if you are looking for ways to make your life just that little bit more convenient read on for some of the best and most simple ways to do just that.

     

    Plan Your Week In Advance

     

    One of the things that can really stump us, in how productive our weeks are, is when things constantly crop up and throw us off track and distract us from getting all those things done. Therefore planning your week in advance is a really good way to make sure that you get all your tasks done and that all your meetings, appointments and work get ticked off the list. You are so much more likely to get everything done if you can see, right in front of you, what needs to be ticked off your list as your week goes on. So get a really good calender and the moment something comes up, get it down in the calendar, give it a specific day, and even a specific time if necessary, in order to ensure it doesn’t get forgotten about.

     

    Video Doctor Appointments

     

    Instead of spending hours waiting in a busy doctors waiting room, there is now the possibility to download doctor apps, that will allow you to have a doctors appointment all from within the comfort of your own home. Downloading an app like, GP at Hand, will allow you to simply go onto your app, request an appointment and wait for a doctor to get back to you and let you know when your video appointment will be. Pretty darn convenient for busy mums and busy people in general.

     

    Carpool

     

    Carpooling with other people is a great way to share the burden of busy commutes and to share the responsibility of the daily school run. Pooling together with either colleagues or other mums in your local area is a really good way to share the amount of time we spend either ferrying around the children, or the amount of time we spend driving in our cars getting to and from work. It is a great way for mums to support each other and it is a great way for colleagues and friends to share the burden of heavy and stressful work commutes.

     

    Task Managers

     

    Sometimes we just need to put our hands up and just accept that we can’t do everything and that we can can’t juggle 10 different tasks in our heads at any one time. We are going to forget things and things are going to accidentally fall off our ‘to-do’ list. So for those that struggle with remembering all the many weekly tasks, make your life that little bit easier by downloading a task manager app. Apps like Evernote, allow you enter important tasks, that will send you alerts to remind you and it will also allow you record down all your really important information that you may need at a moment’s notice. So look into task manager apps that will make you feel so much better equipped to be managing the day to day tasks in your life.

     

  • Customised Clothing with Contrado – Review

    Now I’m actually losing weight I am in need of new clothes and I wanted something casual to take on holiday to Cornwall with us last month. I designed a quick T-Shirt dress with Contrado which was delivered promptly. I am one of simple pleasures and comforts and prefer cotton material over anything heavier. I quite like a good stripe too and I wanted something nice and colourful but still suitable for summer. Contrado is a great site because you can customise all of your outfit and there is just so much to chose from.

    The design process is really simple, you just create an account and then get started on customising your own clothes. There were absolutely loads of dress styles to choose from but I thought a t-shirt dress would be easy to customise, great for the beach, great to pull over for swimming and could be dressed up with skinny jeans (when I fit into them) or leggings. The dress also works really well with a decent pair of flats or trainers. I think t-shirt dresses are super comfortable and so easy to dress up or down.

    Once you’ve selected the style and shape of the clothing and you can create so much at Contrado, dresses, leggings, jumpers…whatever you want really. You can then select the type of material you want to use. There is cotton and cotton blends depending on your own personal peference. I thought cotton would be nice, light and cooling. You can then go on to select your fabric pattern and there is so much to choose from. Contrado have loads of shapes, characters, patterns and you can add text too.

    Contrado is a great website for making good quality customised clothes. The T-Shirt dress I made is so comfy and it washes really well so I am incredibly impressed. Plus I’ve heard horizontal stripes make short people look taller.

    Contrado Customised T Shirt Dress

     

    Disclaimer: I received the custom made dress in exchange for this feature. All opinions remain my own. 

  • Bournemouth by Bus & TGI Fridays Food

    I live in a bit of a weird place, right on the border of Wiltshire which basically means I can get to Bournemouth Beach by bus. It’s longer but way cheaper than going by train and sometimes you just want to go to the beach and it not cost a fortune. That being said we went to TGI Fridays for lunch so it ended up being much more expensive than we anticipated. Still it was a nice date day that Adam and I deserved as we haven’t had one in a while. I do like a quick day city break and we have so many wonderful, beautiful cities close by. We especially love heading over to Salisbury. It hasn’t been all that long since our holiday in Cornwall but let’s be honest when you have kids you need a break after a holiday with them!

    We’re currently trying to save around £5,000 which is a grand sum but the truth is we are considering relocating. It’s a year off plan and kind of depends on a lot but we figured having some money saved up to move, pay upfront rent and just get new things would be a good idea and £5k is a nice round number. Sort of. I just think its a good aim. Anyway, so we’re trying to save money and we’re trying to do things on a bit of a budget and we wanted to have one last naughty meal before getting back with our fitness and health plans.

    Bournemouth is beautiful. I love it, it’s a lovely city and the beach is glorious. There’s so much to do, see and buy there. There are beautiful gardens to walk through, entertainment galore, arcades and toilets that require a 20p donation. We left at 7.35am Saturday morning to get the bus to Salisbury which took an hour and a half but going through my old home village I was pointing out places of nostalgia along the way. We changed buses at Salisbury to head to Bournemouth which was another hour and the bus had tables. I was amazed at this, not only did it have tables and really comfy seats but also USB chargers for your phone. Buses have upgraded and I am happy about this change. We were able to get an Explorer ticket each for £8.60 which I believe gets you pretty much wherever you want to go in Wiltshire and Dorset. It also gets you to Andover. Not saying Andover is a place anyone wants to visit, it’s very dull, but it gets you here. More importantly it gets you away from here.

    We enjoyed strolling through the gardens and people watching on the pier. Sitting by a little river and bandstand before having a little stroll through the centre. We headed into Lush where I treated us to a bath bomb each and the Rub, Rub, Rub Solid Scrub (for me, not sharing – buy it, it’s the best) and a sample of Boom! toothy tabs which is charcoal activated and I haven’t yet used. If you’re curious we also went to Holland and Barrett to take advantage of the penny sale and buy some drinkable Aloe. That’s a dedicated health kick right there because drinking Aloe is absolutely vile but it stops me feeling bloated and crappy so I persevere.

    TGI Fridays was the highlight and we had a super three course lunch and cocktails there.

    Adam was of course craving boneless hot wings with scorpion sauce and I opted for a Chick Cone which was a take on chicken and waffles. However, there wasn’t actually a lot of chicken.

    There was a lot of cheese. Cheese Cones is probably a more accurate name actually. Then for our mains we had burgers followed by a sharing Toffee Popcorn Sundae. To finish I had a lovely Red Velvet martini which was the perfect mix of sweet and sour. Adam had a Mud Slide which is basically and adult chocolate milkshake. It gave him brain freeze!

    We finished the day by the long bus ride back home and ended up getting home around 5.30. It was nice, sunny with a bit of drizzle and the food was tasty. It was nice to just talk and have some adult only time together. The last time we went to Bournemouth on the bus was just before Christmas 2012. Again it was just Adam and I and he was a little on the crazy side after just working the Winter Ball and having not slept. It was cold and rainy but it was absolutely one of my favourite dates way back in the early days.