Candyfloss & Dreams

Category: Lifestyle

lifestyle blog posts focusing on home, lifestyle, parenting, pregnancy, family life and home and style. Home decor and working at home, working at home as a self employed freelancer and blogger. Family lifestyle blog posts including family reviews, family products and saving money as a family. Being a more eco friendly family.

Felix at Two Months

I wanted to do monthly updates of Felix as he grows but that kind of went out of the window as things have just been so strange. Really we’ve just been soaking in that newborn stage but now things really seem to be falling into place and I can’t quite believe I’m sharing how he’s grown in the last two months with you. Firstly, my recovery is going well however I still can’t walk as fast as I did. I question if it’s just healing and the muscle damage from surgery was quite a lot but I’m trying to walk more and pick it up. I get tired very quickly when walking, I know part of that is my weight as well and carrying around excess fat whilst recovering from abdominal surgery was never going to be completely smooth sailing. Some friends have recommended getting some Physio and it’s something I’m going to look into!

Felix is doing really well. He has his 8 week jabs coming up in a couple of weeks and was last weighed at his doctors check. He came in at 11lb2oz and is following the 50th centile. I’m planning to get him weighed again just before Christmas to see how he’s doing but he’s outgrowing his 0-3 month clothes, is having plenty of wet and dirty nappies and is generally a pretty contented baby. I feel he’s taking after me a little bit, he’s an early riser and very smiley and happy in the mornings, but come the afternoons he has trouble getting to sleep and napping, gets quite grouchy and fussy then falls asleep around 8pm and then he’s done until 5-6am – this has been gradually getting longer since he was about five weeks old which I really did not expect. Evie was not good and it took until three months for her to sleep 11-5am which was her pattern for quite a while, and she seems to have decided to copy that pattern again now as she is once again in bed very late and up so early.

Felix smiles, makes lots of lovely cooing noises and gurgles and he can really scream. That seems to happen the most when he’s really hungry or he’s headbutted us too hard. He’s starting to enjoy playing and cuddling his soft toys now and likes following you around the room. We’ve put the Christmas tree up but he hasn’t really focused on that yet. He does seem to like music and is quite partial to an episode or two of Strictly Come Dancing (which I have become obsessed with).

December 4, 2018
BakedIn Baking Subscription Club for Kids

I’ve always loved baking and over the years I’ve had my fair share of brilliant bakes and utter disasters, usually because I haven’t followed a recipe or I’ve missed a vital ingredient. This want of cooking has passed on to Evie who is always asking to make cakes. Having had the opportunity to try BakedIn, a baking box subscription service, I thought this would be a great chance to try a new recipe and have some mother daughter time. My time has mostly been dedicated to Felix but now we are settling into a routine we were actually able to do something together and we made some pretty delicious Whoopie Pies. I’ve never made Whoopie pies, I’ve never used a piping bag and usually when it comes to something with a bit more effort than cupcakes I get a bit flustured. However, this was not the case with the BakedIn Baking box.

The best thing about the box is getting all the ingredients pre-measured and labelled. There are also really easy to follow instructions, with pictures, and as the ingredients are labelled you always use the correct thing at the right time. All of the dry ingredients have been provided for you and it clearly states on the recipe card what you need to include which is the fresh ingredients so things like eggs, milk, butter etc. However, as these are all staples most people have in their homes it is not really too much hassle.

We had a lot of fun making our first BakedIn box recipe which included all the dry ingredients for the Whoopie Pies. We decided to make halve and freeze the other half of the biscuit dough for another time. I have to say I have never made anything like this at all and it was really nice to do something together with Evie. I was so surprised with how easy everything was to follow. The only thing I didn’t like was getting stuck in with my hands to make up the dough but that is personal preference and is usually the nature of baking. It’s not a factor that would stop me using BakedIn and I am strongly tempted to sign up myself so that we can try a few more recipes together and share our bakes. Its a great way to spend time together in amongst the new baby madness.

You can sign up to BakedIn from £8 a month however using the code KAYLEIGH299 you can get your very first box for just £2.99 when you subscribe which is a complete bargain and well worth trying out!

Disclaimer: We received a BakedIn box in exchange for this review.

December 2, 2018
Heating The Home This Autumn

Heating the home during autumn usually means increasing your monthly budget to cope with rising energy costs. As a low income family and one that relies heavily on student finance to get us through each semester whilst Adam is studying, we really need to do everything we can to stick to our budget. I am already feeling the cold in the mornings when I wake up and now we’ve brought home a newborn baby so maintaining a warm temperature through autumn and into the winter months is high on our list of priorities. Finding the most cost-effective way to do so though, is a challenge.

Some families choose to do this by installing central heating pumps, which is an effective and efficient way of heating the home. A pump helps circulate hot water around the home rapidly, from the boiler to the radiators. This helps keep the home warm without breaking the bank.

Heating The Home Effectively

Using a central heating pump is an effective method of heating the home but it isn’t always an option for all households. We have night storage heaters and we only have one energy bill to worry about however we do notice a significant weekly increase when it gets colder. As we use electric when it comes to heating our home, like other families do, there is an option to get a smart meter installed, which helps record the exact amount of energy we use. There are also plenty of apps available that help you keep track of how much you’re spending and even how to cut down on this amount.

When it comes to heating the home we try to limit which heaters we turn on. I usually start with turning on the one in the hallway as that is the one that makes the biggest difference in the morning. It’s much nicer walking out of the bedroom into an already warm hallway. Often, the heat has had time to warm the other rooms too. Luckily, living in a flat, it doesn’t take long to warm up and this helps us keep the costs down. We also make use of a halogen heater for the living room. Keeping the living room door closed, and turning this on for just a small amount of time, heats up our living room very quickly. Ideally, I try to find ways of heating the home that are also energy-efficient.

I find using a slow cooker rather than our oven a great way to save a money and energy whilst heating our home. Plus, there is nothing better than smelling a delicious stew or soup cooking throughout the day, especially if I can dip into it a few times during the day! Hot food really makes a difference in keeping me warm. I am also a fan of all things soft and fluffy so we have plenty of throws and blankets to use. I use these in the living room to cosy up on the sofa with the kids or to put a few extra layers on the bed at night. I am a big fan of layers of clothing too. Big, warm fluffy socks and a soft dressing gown after a hot bath can make a huge difference in keeping us all warm at the end of a cold day.

So there you have it, a few money-saving methods of heating the home that I like to use. How do heat your home while keeping costs down?

October 24, 2018
Breastfeeding Just Hasn’t Worked Out

Breastfeeding hasn’t worked for us.

I think we all prepare for pregnancy with the absolute best intentions, wants and wishes for our baby and that always means making informed decisions on how we will parent. I really wanted to breastfeed Felix. I managed ten weeks with my daughter and I really wanted to get past that stage with Felix because it was going to be great for him, good for me and, best of all, free. I got the clothes, the pumps to help, stuff to boost my supply…everything you can think of to get me off to a good start with feeding my baby but actually, nothing prepares you when the circumstances are against you and so, it’s with quite a lot of sadness that we have stopped breastfeeding and moved over to bottle feeding with formula. I felt incredibly guilty whilst I was making that decision although he has had a few good feeds from me, which I’m really happy with, and I wish it had been longer.

Breastfeeding is not easy

I think the first thing that was against me was my blood loss during my c-section. It left me feeling incredibly weak and drained and the lack of blood and fluid in my body, despite the absolute gallons of water I was drinking, the iron tablets when I came home and all the breastmilk boosting teas, foods, vitamins my milk just didn’t come in. My boobs didn’t ‘fill up’ as they did with my daughter and whilst there was clearly stuff there from hand expressing and some pumping there just wasn’t enough stuff to satisfy my son. The support I had in hospital was fantastic, they really tried everything with me but I have to say the equipment I had – big boobs, lack of mobility and “soft” (I was told at hospital) nipples it just seemed like a combination of things that I couldn’t really battle against.

The exhaustion was also holding me back. I knew I needed to sleep to recover with the blood loss but I was knackered after well over 30 hours of being awake from labour and then that weird adrenaline baby gaze buzz you have after. Adam had gone home to get some sleep and the midwives in recovery were amazing and helped me with everything as I was waiting for the spinal block to wear off. I feel like I’ve now caught up on sleep but I’m still tired because you just are with a newborn, because sleep is broken through the night and when you have an older child “sleeping when the baby sleeps” just isn’t really possible. Especially when you fall asleep on the sofa and they keep waking you up because they want a hug, or a drink, or a snack, or have a question, or want to watch TV, or want to go to the shop…it’s very hard to get in rest when you have a family.

I was totally overwhelmed with Adam going back to University and Work, he starts his first shift tonight at his new job and will be working from 11pm-7am for four nights, then have four nights at home. I was starting to get really worried about how I would physically and mentally cope with such a big lack of sleep whilst I was still recovering from my c-section and so soon after the birth. I hate that dads only get two weeks off as paternity leave. No wonder so many breastfeeding mums decide not to continue because the sheer pressure of doing it all on your own is really hard. I felt that actually, the more routine of bottle feeding – despite doing it on demand, would hopefully work a lot better with the school run in the morning. I have to leave the house at 8am to get my daughter to school for 8.40am, and then it’s a good twenty minute walk back, longer at the moment with a pram and whilst I’m still building my stamina up. I am hoping that we can get into the routine of a 6.30am breakfast and then when we’re back at 9.15am we can get another bottle ready.

But despite all this, and despite the fact that actually I feel we’ve made the right decision to stop breastfeeding because the evenings Adam is here, and during his nights off, he can help with a few night time wake ups which allows me the time to recover. I no longer feel like I won’t be able to cope or scared of being home during the night alone. I know longer feel like I’m completely ignoring my daughter to meet my sons needs. The guilt is still strong and I am still really sad. Having a baby brings about so many hormones and changes, having a c-section can make you feel guilty for not doing it properly. so I’ve cried some tears over it. I’ve been reasurred by the health visitor who said it is okay to feel sad about it and to feel like I’ve missed out but actually we still get lots of lovely snuggles and bonding time and that actually he really isn’t fussed because he’s fed and sleeping and clean. I still feel guilty. I feel like I’ve let myself and my son down a little bit for not persevering. I do feel like I could have tried a bit harder but then I think if I had I’d be struggling more emotionally with feeling so overwhelmed and I know I wouldn’t have been able to take care of myself as much recovery wise if I had stuck with it.

Breastfeeding or bottle feeding: Make an informed decision and go with it

I have always believed in making informed decisions based on what is best for the big picture; for the whole family, but most of all I am an advocate of fed is best. Not because it’s the bare minimum, because I know breastmilk is best for babies, and because all of us just want our babies fed regardless. But I think fed is best stands for that bigger picture, for a mother and baby’s post natal well being and because we all just want to be the best parents we can be. For me, that means being tired but functioning and mentally well for both of my children, and my partner, who has just witnessed me going through major surgery to bring his son into the world, become a father and is now coping with University work and a new job. He has a lot on his plate, and the last thing he needs is a girlfriend that isn’t coping with her mental health.

No matter how you feed your baby, you are doing the best job, you are doing the right thing and you have made the best decision for you. You, your mental health and your well being is just as vital and important because that is what will help you cope with the transition into motherhood.

October 21, 2018
The Positive Birth Story of Felix

I wanted to write my birth story fairly early whilst I still remember most of the details.

The plan: High BMI VBAC at Home
The Result: Unplanned C-Section

I’m glad to finally be able to share my birth story with you and the birth of my second child. What I have learned is that a positive experience does not always mean one that goes to plan, but that from the experience – that takes time to process, and will take more time in the case of the birth of my son, you feel positive. I can not fault the care I received during labour, delivery and post natal whilst at Basingstoke hospital. I have felt listened to, respected, cared for and most importantly completely supported and looked after thanks to the Hampshire Hospitals maternity team.

My beautiful son was born at 8.46pm and delivered by a second unplanned cesarean section weighing 9lbs9oz at 40+13 weeks. He arrived into the world with shocks and surprised at his size on Thursday 4th October after a pretty lengthy labour. This was kicked off with a cervical sweep at 12noon on Wednesday 3rd October, with tightenings and a bit of a show from 3pm. I was booked in for 9.30am the next day to my hospital to have my waters broken if things had not progressed. I am so pleased, and proud of myself, that they did. I called my wonderful Doula around 10pm who helped me set up the environment in the living room with tea lights. I was using my birthing ball and keeping hydrated. I got a couple of hours sleep to try and conserve my energy a bit and made great use of up breathing and my Babycare TENS machine. By around 8.30am I was struggling a little and wanted some more pain relief so we went in to hospital for 9.30am as expected and I was taken straight to a delivery room.

C-Section Recovery: Just after surgery losing 1.5 litres of blood, very dosed up with a very alert baby boy!

I was introduced to my midwife and student midwife who would be looking after me and I accepted an examination to find I had got to three cm and full effacement so I requested to wait to break my waters and the midwives were happy with that. I also accepted a CTG trace for 30 minutes whilst bouncing on the ball as I was hoping for a VBAC and due to my size it was a bit of a challenge getting a good read on my baby’s heart rate. After the trace the midwives were happy to resume intermittent monitoring for the rest of my labour. After 4 hours I accepted another examination and I was found at 4cm. Things had not progressed as quickly as I would have liked and so I accepted having my waters broken to try and help things along a little bit. Once this was done things began to get a little intense for me.

Up until this point my labour had been everything I wanted however eventually I was struggling to differentiate between the contractions and I wasn’t actually noticing any breaks or dips in the pain. I was saying I couldn’t cope anymore, I was sick a couple of times and I wanted to stop. Something in my mind was telling me that this was, sadly, not the transitional period we were hoping it was. At 7pm I accepted another examination to find there had been no progress. I was getting worried about the amount of pain I was in and how difficult it was for the midwives to get a heartbeat from my baby. It was at this point I requested we go to theatre for a c-section. This was never what I wanted but ultimately, I am incredibly happy with my decision, especially with what I know now. I met the obstetrician who talked me through the consent form and explained the surgery. I was feeling really very anxious at this point and as they had to take away the gas and air and my TENS machine I was struggling but tried using up breathing, relaxing my jaw and shoulders through each contraction as I was taken into theatre. Thankfully the surgery was done under a spinal block which was a little hard to administer but eventually we got there.

Surgery took longer than expected as when the doctors got to my uterus they found more scar tissue and a hole in my womb. They found a very weak uterus that hadn’t been contracting as effectively as it should have been which could have been due to a number of things. My BMI was one, his size was another and unfortunately this just was not meant to be for me. Now I know this I feel even better that at the time I made the best decision for everyone and that has made this birth a really positive one for me. At no point did I feel out of control or disrespected. I love the fact that most of the people in theatre were women including the three amazing doctors who put me back together again. I loved seeing Adam holding our son by our head. I think we had optimal cord clamping which I requested and I would have liked to hold him however I was really feeling quite unwell during the surgery and I ended up falling asleep after asking the anaesthetist if it was safe to do so. I then got to carry my son through to recovery where we did get some of that lovely skin to skin and I got to see his beautiful face properly.

The moment your children meet each other is one of the most amazing, magical moments I have ever experienced.

Adam and my Doula Sophie were so amazing and the team that took care of me offered so many lovely congratulations. I ended up staying in hospital until Sunday 7th October and I’m now continuing to recover at home. Family and friends have been amazingly supportive and I cant wait to get back up on my feet again properly. I am so pleased and proud to introduce everyone to my little boy Felix David Locke. Despite what has happened I still passionately believe in birth planning and I think all of the preparation I did with Hypnobirthing, particularly The Digital Pack by the Positive Birth company, having my amazingly wonderful Doula to support me through pregnancy and a very loving, kind and compassionate partner made this the most positive birth I could have had. It just seems I am that woman and I am one of the statistics. But I am here, I am safe, and I am teary but so happy. I really believe sharing birth stories helps women come to terms with any fear they may feel and I honestly believe the amount of information I consumed during pregnancy was so beneficial. Sharing my birth story is, I hope, a way of giving back to those women and to also say that despite things going differently, I am feeling really well in myself.

For more pregnancy content please head to my hub post which contains links to all my relevant pregnancy based blog posts. My second High Bmi Pregnancy.

October 10, 2018