Candyfloss & Dreams

Category: Lifestyle

lifestyle blog posts focusing on home, lifestyle, parenting, pregnancy, family life and home and style. Home decor and working at home, working at home as a self employed freelancer and blogger. Family lifestyle blog posts including family reviews, family products and saving money as a family. Being a more eco friendly family.

It Isn’t Always Easy – Preparing Your Child for an Upcoming Move
It Isn’t Always Easy: Preparing Your Child for an Upcoming Move

Most families will, at some point, move into a new home or to a new city. A move is not something that is light and fun for all and it can be quite disruptive, especially for children. Kids who do not know what to expect and those who face anxiety over the move are the most affected and may not completely understand what is going on.

Preparing your child for an upcoming move is the best decision you can make and will help your child feel at ease too. Below, we will talk about what you can do, as a parent, to help introduce the idea of moving to your child.

Talking About Moving with Toddlers and Preschool-Aged Children

Toddlers and infants are often the easiest to move with because there is not too much explaining that needs to go into it as they may not be able to grasp the idea of the move yet. Preschoolers often understand and need some reassurance about the move.

Some tips to help you talk about moving with toddlers and preschool-aged children:
- Visit the new home a few times before the move, if it is nearby
- Use a story to explain the move and what your child can expect to happen or find a book about moving and read it to them
- Always use clear explanations about the move
- Try to avoid making big changes at the same time as the move as this can cause a lot of anxiety
- Involve your child as much as possible when packing
Talking about Moving with Children Who Are School Aged

Children who are 5 and older, or in kindergarten or older, will need to be walked through the moving process. Children of this age will understand that there is something going on around them and keeping them in the dark will fuel anxiety.

Tips to help you talk about moving with a school-aged child:
- Explain to them where you are moving and visit the new house and area
- Let them have a party with their friends before the move
- Explain the process of everything being packed up and placed on the moving truck
- Use simple and clear sentences to explain the situation
- Allow them to help with the move and talk about the positives of a new home and city
Other Things to Consider When Moving with Children

Before you set your move date in stone, think about your children first. It is often recommended that you move in the summer, this way, children are not faced with starting a new school and leaving their friends midyear.

Teens are often more understanding about a move and do not need as much preparation or talks beforehand, however, you should still let them know the plan and talk about your expectations and what they can expect on the day of the move.

Once the move is completed, take your child out to explore the new area and create a positive experience.
October 11, 2018
Trick Yourself into Making Savings
Image source

Saving is not always easy, but even small amounts soon start to build into something worth having. Most of us live from payday to payday, with very little cash to spare. So how can you save some money, without even noticing it is happening?

Analyse What You Spend

Take a close look at what you spend every month, and see how much of them are unnecessary. This may well show up old subscriptions you no longer use, or money being wasted in other areas. Cancel anything you do not need, and straight away you will have some money to save and be no worse off.

Look at things like book clubs, for instance. Do you really need to pay them a monthly fee when you can get all the books you want for free at a library? Do you have to pay into the club that sends you a record every month? With streaming music online now that should not be needed. These are just a couple of examples, there are many other things you could stop paying for.

Make Saving Automatic

There are several ways you can make your savings automatic so that you do not even think about them:
- Most salaries are paid into a bank account these days. Ask your employer to pay some of yours into another account. Most companies offer this sort of service to their staff, so take advantage of it.
- There are apps that will round up any purchases you make, and save the money for you. If you, for instance, spend £1.60 the apps round it up to £2 and puts the 40p into your saving account. It is such small amounts you will not even notice it is happening until you see how much it has mounted up in your savings account.
Automatic saving is a great way to build up a decent sum of money without the hassle of having to physically go and put it into a saving account.

Image source

Compare Rates

Buying a major item is not saving you any money, but finding the best interest rate could save you a lot. If you have to buy something like a new car, take a look at a vehicle finance calculator to find the best deal for you. Do this for everything and you’ll always get the best deal.

Interest rates can vary greatly, but the most expensive way of borrowing money is on credit cards. You could save yourself quite a bit by converting them to a bank loan, which will be at a fixed rate with a predetermined end date. Credit cards can go on for years and cost you a fortune.

Avoid Impulse Buys

Impulse buys tend to be when we buy things we do not really need, so avoid them at all times. Just stand back from the purchase you nearly made for a few minutes and ask yourself if you really need it. Generally, with an impulse buy the answer is no, so save the money instead.

You may be surprised at how quickly your savings will grow, and sometimes it can become an obsession. Don’t let it overtake your life, just be sensible and save what you can afford to.

This is a collaborative post.
October 11, 2018
The Positive Birth Story of Felix

I wanted to write my birth story fairly early whilst I still remember most of the details.

The plan: High BMI VBAC at Home
The Result: Unplanned C-Section

I’m glad to finally be able to share my birth story with you and the birth of my second child. What I have learned is that a positive experience does not always mean one that goes to plan, but that from the experience – that takes time to process, and will take more time in the case of the birth of my son, you feel positive. I can not fault the care I received during labour, delivery and post natal whilst at Basingstoke hospital. I have felt listened to, respected, cared for and most importantly completely supported and looked after thanks to the Hampshire Hospitals maternity team.

My beautiful son was born at 8.46pm and delivered by a second unplanned cesarean section weighing 9lbs9oz at 40+13 weeks. He arrived into the world with shocks and surprised at his size on Thursday 4th October after a pretty lengthy labour. This was kicked off with a cervical sweep at 12noon on Wednesday 3rd October, with tightenings and a bit of a show from 3pm. I was booked in for 9.30am the next day to my hospital to have my waters broken if things had not progressed. I am so pleased, and proud of myself, that they did. I called my wonderful Doula around 10pm who helped me set up the environment in the living room with tea lights. I was using my birthing ball and keeping hydrated. I got a couple of hours sleep to try and conserve my energy a bit and made great use of up breathing and my Babycare TENS machine. By around 8.30am I was struggling a little and wanted some more pain relief so we went in to hospital for 9.30am as expected and I was taken straight to a delivery room.

C-Section Recovery: Just after surgery losing 1.5 litres of blood, very dosed up with a very alert baby boy!

I was introduced to my midwife and student midwife who would be looking after me and I accepted an examination to find I had got to three cm and full effacement so I requested to wait to break my waters and the midwives were happy with that. I also accepted a CTG trace for 30 minutes whilst bouncing on the ball as I was hoping for a VBAC and due to my size it was a bit of a challenge getting a good read on my baby’s heart rate. After the trace the midwives were happy to resume intermittent monitoring for the rest of my labour. After 4 hours I accepted another examination and I was found at 4cm. Things had not progressed as quickly as I would have liked and so I accepted having my waters broken to try and help things along a little bit. Once this was done things began to get a little intense for me.

Up until this point my labour had been everything I wanted however eventually I was struggling to differentiate between the contractions and I wasn’t actually noticing any breaks or dips in the pain. I was saying I couldn’t cope anymore, I was sick a couple of times and I wanted to stop. Something in my mind was telling me that this was, sadly, not the transitional period we were hoping it was. At 7pm I accepted another examination to find there had been no progress. I was getting worried about the amount of pain I was in and how difficult it was for the midwives to get a heartbeat from my baby. It was at this point I requested we go to theatre for a c-section. This was never what I wanted but ultimately, I am incredibly happy with my decision, especially with what I know now. I met the obstetrician who talked me through the consent form and explained the surgery. I was feeling really very anxious at this point and as they had to take away the gas and air and my TENS machine I was struggling but tried using up breathing, relaxing my jaw and shoulders through each contraction as I was taken into theatre. Thankfully the surgery was done under a spinal block which was a little hard to administer but eventually we got there.

Surgery took longer than expected as when the doctors got to my uterus they found more scar tissue and a hole in my womb. They found a very weak uterus that hadn’t been contracting as effectively as it should have been which could have been due to a number of things. My BMI was one, his size was another and unfortunately this just was not meant to be for me. Now I know this I feel even better that at the time I made the best decision for everyone and that has made this birth a really positive one for me. At no point did I feel out of control or disrespected. I love the fact that most of the people in theatre were women including the three amazing doctors who put me back together again. I loved seeing Adam holding our son by our head. I think we had optimal cord clamping which I requested and I would have liked to hold him however I was really feeling quite unwell during the surgery and I ended up falling asleep after asking the anaesthetist if it was safe to do so. I then got to carry my son through to recovery where we did get some of that lovely skin to skin and I got to see his beautiful face properly.

The moment your children meet each other is one of the most amazing, magical moments I have ever experienced.

Adam and my Doula Sophie were so amazing and the team that took care of me offered so many lovely congratulations. I ended up staying in hospital until Sunday 7th October and I’m now continuing to recover at home. Family and friends have been amazingly supportive and I cant wait to get back up on my feet again properly. I am so pleased and proud to introduce everyone to my little boy Felix David Locke. Despite what has happened I still passionately believe in birth planning and I think all of the preparation I did with Hypnobirthing, particularly The Digital Pack by the Positive Birth company, having my amazingly wonderful Doula to support me through pregnancy and a very loving, kind and compassionate partner made this the most positive birth I could have had. It just seems I am that woman and I am one of the statistics. But I am here, I am safe, and I am teary but so happy. I really believe sharing birth stories helps women come to terms with any fear they may feel and I honestly believe the amount of information I consumed during pregnancy was so beneficial. Sharing my birth story is, I hope, a way of giving back to those women and to also say that despite things going differently, I am feeling really well in myself.

For more pregnancy content please head to my hub post which contains links to all my relevant pregnancy based blog posts. My second High Bmi Pregnancy.

October 10, 2018
Autumn Slow Cooker Meals I Love

Autumn is the best time of year to get the slow cooker out and I wanted to share some autumn slow cooker meals I love. With the weather turning cooler I am looking to use my slow cooker for tasty, warming meals. There’s something about Autumn that just makes me want to use the slow cooker. It’s so nice coming back from the school run knowing I don’t have a dinner to prepare because I can just chuck what I need in the slow cooker in the morning and it will be tasty, tender and hot for dinner time. Having a baby in the house and not having to properly prepare meals but still have something filling and nutritious every night. This is going to be absolutely vital whilst breastfeeding too because I can make sure everyone, including myself, is fed. Here are my favourite slow cooker meals.

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Soup

I love soup and whilst some people may have a soup maker you can do delicious soup in a slow cooker easily. Any left over veggies are perfect for this so if you’re someone that loves a roast on a Sunday and has anything left over popping it into a slow cooker with some liquid broth or stock can make it into a really tasty soup. You can then leave it chunky or blend it up before serving. My favourite is tomato and red pepper with a sprinkle of chilli flakes as I feel the lovely vibrant colour makes it feel as warming as it tastes. I also really love leek and potato soup with a soft roll. Another great option is a thai style coconut chicken soup.

Stews

Stews are ideal slow cooker food because you can add in whatever ingredients you like. Beef and ale with seasonal vegetables is a firm favourite here and adding the ale early on you have the taste and the flavour but the alcohol is cooked off. Pork and apple can make another really lovely stew and for me there’s just something about pork and apples that make me think of Autumn. I’ve made this with Brothers Toffee Apple cider too which does make it quite sweet. Paired with some green vegetables and mash potato this is a delicious stew. If you fancy something a little different chicken and apricot with Moroccan spices can be something completely different too. I love this with a few herby dumplings too.

Pie Fillings

Slow cooked pie fillings are delicious for this time of year. If you want that pastry crust topping with a slow cooked pie filling you can get ready rolled puff pastry and cook off in the oven before serving. Or if you’re making a family sized pie in advance slow cooking the filling can bring out all the flavour and make the meat super tender.

Other Autumn Slow Cooker Meals

Chilli is a great one for a slow cooker as it’s super quick and easy and the longer chilli cooks the better it tastes. Curries also work really well in a slow cooker especially using sweet potato and butternut squash as it allows the vegetables to soften and take on the subtle spices of the curry. You can also make a delicious pulled pork by slow cooking it. I love pulled pork, it’s warming and makes a tasty midweek meal. Any left over can be added to rolls and sandwiches the next day too.

October 3, 2018
Vulnerable

There is only so much information you can bring into yourself during a time of vulnerability. You can plan and process and positive think you’re way through but ultimately you are going to have times where you feel like you fail.

There will always be times where you compare yourself to others and that will bring on tears, frustration, guilt and desperation. It will make you feel inadequate doubting your own ability, mindset, body and femininity.

There is no right or wrong way to give birth. But why do I feel like my body doesn’t work properly? Because I seem to carry longer than term. Because everyone is asking me is it now? Well meaning wishes and text and phone calls come through. I lurk on social media rather than join in as I feel myself closing in on myself but really I feel resentment and sadness.

It’s like I’m grieving for an experience I don’t feel I will ever get to have without a form of augmentation.

I feel like less of a woman because my body doesn’t seem to do what it is build to do on a timescale I don’t even feel is right for my body.

I tell myself this all the time. My baby is measuring big or ahead but my boyfriend shares his DNA and is tall. And I am not tall. And my last baby was at 42 weeks and induced and babies follow a pattern but my body still hasn’t started labour despite by date of conception I feel I am only 39 weeks and 1 day.

I feel crumpled and sore, swollen, shrunken and sadness. I feel let down by my own body. A soft and thin cervix that has started to change and shift and move to make way for the baby pressing down. I feel every movement from hands to legs to rolls. I feel pressure and pain of the most exquisite unable to describe kind which excites me yet fills me with dread every time I need to take a step.

I miss going outside.

I miss browsing through shops.

I miss walking and movement and swimming.

I miss life but I’m standing here with one foot heavy and swollen with pregnancy and the other a step forward waiting, needing and willing to rush on. Become a new mother. A mother of two beautiful children who I love more than anything. Already.

I am vulnerable because I am left alone in the evening whilst my partner provides for us and I miss him so much. I don’t want to show my vulnerable side, I want him to be proud and witness the birth of our child alongside the rebirth of me. I want to show him just how much I love him and what I can give to him and for him to say you did this, I’m so proud, and no matter how or where or what he will say and think and feel this anyway. But there is that part of me that thinks I do not deserve him if I can not birth properly.

I do not deserve his pride if my body fails me, to birth our son.

Relax they say. Relax and enjoy these last few days and babies come when babies are ready and I know this is fact and true and rational but I am lying here, tears falling freely already grieving a birth I haven’t had yet because of time restraints. Limits.

I feel vulnerable. I want to embrace this birth that I have dreamed of having because I felt like I failed at the last one. That detrimental shadow that has haunted my mental health for eight long years because I couldn’t birth my daughter. Those weeks I felt of failure whilst healing prevented us from thriving and I am terrified of that same process happening again.

October 2, 2018