lifestyle blog posts focusing on home, lifestyle, parenting, pregnancy, family life and home and style. Home decor and working at home, working at home as a self employed freelancer and blogger. Family lifestyle blog posts including family reviews, family products and saving money as a family. Being a more eco friendly family.
I can’t quite believe I have a three year old. Doesn’t every parent say that on their child’s birthday though? Just three years ago we were on our way to hospital which would eventually lead to c-section number two for me, but with the support of Adam and my Doula Sophie and the obsetrician team at Basingstoke hospital Felix came into the world angry and purple. When we had him three years ago we didn’t expect to have to parent the way we have especially over the last 18 months of the c19 pandemic which is half his life. It’s a long time for a little person and it’s been really hard not being able to spend as much time with friends and family in his early years as we normally would have. To celebrate we brought our families together for a windy, and slightly, wet day out at the Hawk Conservancy Trust which was really nice. We had a lot of fun watching the birds flying around and spending time together.
Felix has also just moved up a group class at nursery which he started back in June. It’s been tough as he didn’t have a very consistent few months and was constantly having to take time off because of covid restrictions. However, for the last six weeks he’s settled in really well and has been having a great time at nursery. It’s been nice reading about how he’s doing even though its not been every week. One of the things we worried about most was the fact that he hadn’t had the chance to interact with many other children and we wanted to provide a way for him to do that, make friends and have some seperation from us. It’s been really good for all of us I think and has helped create a bit more of a weekly routine.
I have especially noticed a huge jump in his speech over the last month or so where he is saying words, phrases and sentances and having more of a conversation with us. Things like “Oh let me see” “Let me have a try” and “I go in the lift” are just a few that comes to mind. He fills his sentances with a lot of baby jargon and will give his toys voices and characters when playing which is really lovely to watch. He also loves to draw and colour, mostly on Procreate on my iPad but we’ve also got him his own box of colouring pencils and crayons now for him to be artistic. He doesn’t really enjoy certain textures or messy play with his hands so I’m starting to notice some sensory reluctance for him. He seems to love things like kinetic sand and playdoh but does not like sticky/slimy textures. He loves being in the water and his confidence when swimming has really improved. I want to take him much more.
We are thinking as well now he’s three to look at a physical activity he can get involved in regularly like tumble tots, gymnastics or dance classes. I wish I had found something for Evie early on like this as it would have been great for her but co-parenting with someone 100 miles away made it quite difficult with stuff on the weekends as it wouldn’t have been consistent. I don’t have that issue with Felix so it’s something I want to seriously consider looking into over the next month or so and enroll him in before we are allocated extra hours for nusery. My hope is it will give him a little more structure and routine during the week and increase his confidence, expression and find a love of movement.
Anyway, a very happy third birthday to my little man. I’m so thrilled to celebrate you.
It is that time of year again; my favourite time of year. I used to feel Spring was my favourite season but actually I love the cosy sink into Winter that September and October bring. It’s the time of year I feel I have the most to celebrate having two Autumnal babies, I feel the most productive and feel just generally really good. The last two years my blog has taken a bit of a backseat because of the global pandemic – I can’t pretend it hasn’t affected me both negatively and positively but I have felt a distinct lack of motivation and actually, that’s made me feel really sad. I’ve always loved writing so I am hoping I am able to tune into my potential ADHD hyperfocus and get lots of posts written and generally be productive – make this blog actually look like it’s as active as it used to be. If you’re stuck on ideas of things to do you might want to check out Experience Days who have a great range of fun family activities in Hampshire.
Why do people make bucket lists?
I think it’s a way to focus and be in the moment. I know that seems a little bit contradictory by making a list and scheduling in things you want to do but there is an ASMR worthy satisfaction at ticking something off a to do list. Also, things have been really shit for me healthwise – both mentally, and physically thanks to my dodgy eye and having had a Brain MRI which really scared me. I feel compelled to schedule that time in with my family, to do things together to make some memories, take some photos and actually enjoy part of my favourite season. I also think like I need to push myself a bit and get out of my own comfort zone. Awaiting for an ADHD assesment is going to be a long process and I’m trying to put lots of positive steps in place at the moment to help me and trying to get things scheduled in to make changes but I find it very hard. On the other hand I find this really, really frustrating because I feel like I’m getting in my own way of doing things I want to do but physically finding it so exhausting and overwhelming. This is a lot of babble, but it does help. I’ve always said getting the words out of my brain and onto paper – or onto this blog – helps me to deal with life overwhelm.
There is something so calming and peaceful about walking through the woods on an autumn day
So I wanted to make a bucket list of things I want to do during my favourite season which will be opportunities to multiask as I can create blog content, vlogs, and take lots of photos to stick in our family photo album and scrapbook. I wanted a list of things I could tick off whilst I am in waiting mode for health care appointments and therapy. I wanted to give myself something to look forward to and give us all a little reduction in screen time. And focus on my blog and get new posts written. It’s a whole thing and actually I’m really excited at having a few little day trips, photo sessions and moments of creativity to look forward to.
Our Family Autumn Bucket List
Walks and photos in our local woods and forests collecting pinecones, conkers and autumn leaves
Pumpkin Picking at our local Pick Your Own farm
Celebrate Felix’s 3rd birthday with a day at the Hawk Conservancy Trust
Doing a spooky photoshoot with Felix in the woods
Making some food with the pumpkins we pick: I want to do stuffed mini pumpkins, pumpkin soup and pumpkin pie. I love pumpkin food, I love pumpkin spice (yes, I’ve had my seasonal PSL from Starbucks too)
Carve a pumpkin for Halloween
Getting Evie and Felix a Halloween costume
Take some cosy autumanl bookish flatlays and photos for Instagram
Take Felix to his first fireworks display (if there are any on) for Bonfire night
Felix spotted a bat sculpture on one of our forest walks
We have a couple of lovely local woodlands in Hampshire and surrounding counties so there will be plenty for us to do, the kids will get some much needed time to run around and have fun and I am sure I can get plenty of lovely photos of them. Some of it is work related but something that I can get creative with. I have wanted to do pick your own pumpkins for a while now and I think that will probably be a bit muddy but def a bit of fun. I think, picking a pumpkin, and making something with it might also encourage my very fussy toddler to eat something. I can’t quite believe we will be celebrating Felix’s third birthday either.
Getting a degree as a mature student and full time working parent has been a challenge, but has it been worth it? Adam first returned to University back in 2017 where he studied an Access course at our local college. The course was one years intensive study where he was in lessons around four days a week. He had to do an independent personal project and learn new skills that he hadn’t done before including referencing, research and data collection. It was a completely new experience for him after over ten years outside of education. I think there were many moments of hardship and stress where Adam asked himself is getting a degree worth it?
The Cost of Getting A Degree
It’s expensive. There’s no way around it. Getting a university education is not cheap. However, student finance is an option and I believe you get four full time years student finance available to you. This can be used with a traditional university, a college offering foundation degrees and other institutes of Higher Education such as The Open University. In the UK the first place to apply is through the student finance website and repayment of student loans happens once you’ve finished your degree and are in paid work above a certain threshold. In other countries this works differently and some people choose to refinance their student loans. If this is applicable to you, you can discover more here.
Why Do Mature Students Return to Education
I think there are many reasons why people return to education. For Adam, he had been working in his job for a good few years and was just going nowhere. There was no room for progression and he was so desperately unhappy and feeling unfufilled. He felt he wasn’t living up to his own potential and wanted a career for himself. We wanted to expand our family and move home eventually and it just was feeling like it was impossible. I feel like I’m finally doing something I love being able to work from home and write for a living and Adam wanted something for himself. I remember our conversation about studying and we got an Open University prospectus as Adam knew he would have to continue working through any form of study.
However, after seeing a friend finish an access course and get a place at University, we talked about him actually going to a place of study. It all happened pretty quickly after that as he applied in the July and was accepted to start in September. His chosen study path was Social Sciences and he had to redo his Maths GCSE alongside college. He applied for the course fee through student finance and reduced his hours at work slightly so they wouldn’t interfere with college. It was a pretty hard year financially as during college we didn’t get any financial help, aside from the fees paid, and he had a paycut from work.
I think wanting to change career paths or enable some form of career progression is probably one of the main driving forces when deciding to return to education but sometimes it can just be something to do, having a passion for a subject and wanting to learn more or potentially something for the CV after a career break, or starting a family. For Adam, it was very much about having the qualifications to build a successful, interesting and exciting career, although he didn’t know what he wanted to do, or even full study at University.
Doing an Access to HE course is an excellent pathway for Students that enjoy Classroom Based Learning
Adam felt going into a classroom would be much easier for him rather than completely independent study as it offered some routine and structure. He had a really successful and enjoyable year on his Access to HE course in Social Sciences anr originally applied for a degree in Criminology to five Universities. A couple were local and some were a little further affield. He got conditional offers from each University and eventually decided to study at Winchester as it was the shortest, and easiest, commute via public transport.
Being a Mature Student Might not be the ‘Typical’ University Experience
Adam isn’t a big drinker, partygoer and is pretty introverted as a person so he wasn’t really interested in the social experience University can offer younger students flying the nest and striking out on their own for, probably, the first time. Adam was in his mid-twenties, worked full time, was learning to drive and became a dad during his first semester of University. His plan was to study, come home, sleep when he could and do it all again. The extra financial help really helped us top up his wages but Adam felt a lot of stress and a lot of pressure. Finally passing his driving test in his first year really made a difference for the rest of his University experience, as did when our Son slept through the night in his bed eventually. Despite all of this Adam had a positive experience whilst studying his undergraduate degree. He doesn’t feel like he missed out on anything living off campus and away from busy student social occassions. However, he wouldnt particularly recommend starting a family, starting University and changing jobs all in one month to be the way forward as it was a lot.
Has Getting a Degree Been Worth It?
Personally, I think yes. Adam achieved second class honours: upper division (a 2:1 BA degree) despite a lot of obstacles including studying through homeschooling and a global pandemic. It has not been easy but despite everything he did really, really well. Right now, it’s hard to say in terms of a career because he has decided to stay on at his current place of work whilst finishing his Masters post graduate degree. His degree in Philosophy, Religion and Ethics has built an excellent foundation for his chosen Masters programme in Reconcilliation and Peacebuilding. His hope is that this will allow for an exciting graduate career, a chance to relocate as a family and just build something to be proud of; giving us the opportunity to have a happy and fufilling family life. I know that realistically we are looking at a good few years of him building a career, working long hours but hopefully, the time we can spend together as a family, holidays we can have will make it all worth it. I think, as well, having a personal sense of achievement, especially after not doing so well at school, really helps make it all feel worth it in the long run.
Adam starts his Post Graduate Masters course this week and I am, of course, very proud of everything he’s done in the last few years. It all started back in 2017 when he applied for a full time access course in Humanities and Social Science to enable him to go to University. I wanted to write more about how his degree went, how he acheived a 2:1 degree whilst working full time, becoming a new dad, learning to drive and without leaving school with hardly any GCSE’s. I’m incredibly proud of how he’s managed to get a degree during a global pandemic too.
Studying a degree as a mature student: Adam’s Experience
My partner Adam will be the first to admit school was not his strong point and despite trying, his teachers didn’t have a lot of faith in him. Going back to college to study full time alongside working a full time job and then finding out we were pregnant with Felix was a very busy time. However he did really well, finished his course in the first year and was able to apply to a local University. Oh, he was also learning to drive during this and his first year of University too. It’s safe to say we were pretty busy.
The First and Second Year of an Undergraduate Degree
He originally applied for a degree in Criminology but changed within the first week to a degree in Philosophy, Religion and Ethics. Honestly, I always thought a philosophy degree would suit Adam better because he loves listening to debate, he enjoys hearing peoples reasoning for those big questions and he did pretty well in his first year getting an overall 2:1 for his first year despite everything going on. Felix was born in a complicated way back in 2018, just weeks after he started the first semester, and he was having to commute by train which was stressful alongside starting a new job where he worked all through the night instead of just late evenings. He was very tired trying to be a new dad, study, work and learn to drive all in one go but he did it, and he did really well, particularly in that first year.
His second year started pretty smoothy back in 2019. Semester one was pretty laid back as we had made some family changes – we moved our eldest to a local school as I was having a hard time with the walk to and from post-c-section and Adam was knackered a lot of the time from work. However, he could drive and we had a family car which did really help make things a bit easier as Adam no longer had to leave hours before his lecture which allowed him a little more sleep. Then in early 2020 everything changed thanks to the covid19 pandemic and he was met with offers of extensions, some online lectures and tutorials. He was put on furlough from his hospitality job and finally had the time to study but, we also had to homeschool and its safe to say it was an equally challenging time. Living in a small flat, all of us in one room trying to work and study with the distraction of a two-year-old running about and not being allowed outside much – as well as not having a garden – meant us feeling a lot of frustration, pressure and very much on top of each other. It was hard.
Studying a degree during a pandemic hasn’t been easy but Adam is graduating officially next month
Things of course were a bit different in September, the first semester of his third year. Our eldest was back at school and Adam had a selection of lectures online at home and in person, but in smaller groups. He was still furloughed so his work wasn’t really impacting his study but I feel this weird time and not having the structure of the first year and most of his second year really affected his learning. Third years are tough, with a big dissertation to write and having to rely on your own independent learning for most of it meant having to be very proactive and Adam just wasn’t in that frame of mind. However, he managed to push through and got everything handed in which finally gave him his degree classification. I can not even begin to say just how proud I am of Adam, that he managed to do a full degree and get awarded an overall 2:1 despite a very complex learning process, being a new dad, working nights, learning to drive and a pandemic. The way he just got it done despite so many times of wanting to quit because of how exhausted he was but keeping it up anyway had me completely in awe. He isn’t finished yet and he hasn’t started a new career but he has an excellent foundation to build one now and I think his final year of study; doing his distance learning Masters degree will really help him in building a strong career, and hopefully enabling us to relocate next year.
Masters Degree Application Through UCAS
After handing in his last few assignments in May Adam considered the possibility of doing a Masters degree. He was back and fourth for a few weeks and finally applied a couple of days before the deadline. Applying for a Masters degree in the UK is a pretty straightforward process, especially if you’re returning to your University that awarded your degree. Adam applied through UCAS where he had to set up a post-grad account so he could send through his application. All he needed to know was the course, university, write a personal statement and submit a reference. Adam sent an email to a couple of his lecturers that taught him in his third year to ask for a reference, gave the name and email for UCAS to contact them and then submitted everything. It was actually done really quickly and a conditional offer came through within the next day. The condition was a degree classification of a 2:2. As soon as the results came throgh Adam sent them to the admissions team and the offer became unconditional offering him a place on his post grad masters degree in Reconcilliation and Peacebuilding. Once this was done Adam applied for a postgraduate masters loan through Student Finance. This is a one off amount designed to cover the fees of the tuition and help with some living costs. It is currently just over £11,000 and allows us to pay for our rent and tuition fees for Adams final year of study. It will be added on to his other student loans and payable back when his income exceeds £21,000 per year.
Staring a distance learning Masters Degree
Adam will be doing a distance learning Masters programme at Winchester University which is a little different than his previous years of study. This course is designed to be digital and he’s been really impressed with how quick the team of lecturers have started sharing details of the programme. There’s a facebook group for the students, he will be working on Microsoft Teams, plus the University online module pages. He has already been given his timetable which are all work friendly hours of 6-8pm three times a week. This means even with work he has plenty of time to rest, and study rather than rushing to a lecture after a full night shift. There is no commute which makes things easier and as he had to do the majority of his third year online he already knows how certain programmes work. I think it will be really good for him and whilst it is a good follow on from his degree, the change of subject will be interesting for him.
Postgraduate Masters degrees are graded slightly differently. The minimum pass mark is higher at 50% and you either Pass, Merit or Distinction overall. He has three choices for his big project which include a 15,000-20,000 word disertation paper, an internship or a community based project. I personally think the internship will be the most suitable to Adam’s learning methods and desire for a career but this does depend on how it will affect his current place of work. Hopefully it’s something he can find out about in the coming weeks and I can share more about what an Internship/Consultancy module during a post-grad masters degree actually is and means.
About two months ago Adam and I began discussing paying for Felix, who is now 2 and a half, to do a couple of sessions at nursery. It’s been a really tough year for so many people and for so many different reasons. I’ve had my fair share of parenting tough situations but parenting a toddler through a pandemic really has made me worry about my son. I hate the thought of him growing up in a world where all he’s been told is not to go near or play with other people’s children in the park, at the beach…I’ve been too scared to look into toddler groups because I just can’t bear the thought of wearing a mask inside a hot, stuffy, soft play centre where I can’t wear my glasses. The best option for Felix to make some friends, play and be in a safe environment was preschool.
He didn’t get off to a great start. Evie came home from school with a cold and that passed on to Felix who developed a nasty case of tonsilitis (that I am currently suffering with, thank you son). It meant his first booked sessions were a no-show because he just wasn’t well enough to attend. However, whilst his cough is lingering (no covid, thankfully!) he is much better and has now attended for two weeks. He only attends two afternoon sessions a week and as he’s under two and we don’t get full benefits we are paying for these sessions. It’s probably come at a cost of our rediculous food shopping and takeaway bill though and we could do with getting that back under control if I’m honest.
Felix has really changed from baby to toddler in the last year. He’s growing up so quickly.
I wasn’t sure how he would react with preschool as we couldn’t do any proper settling in sessions. Instead, when we were signing the paperwork the staff very kindly took him through to show him the outside play area and he was happy enough with the other children and nursery staff. Since then he’s gone straight in with no problems and actually has been upset when he’s been told it’s time to come home. When it came to choosing the preschool we went with a friends recommendation after looking on a few websites and seeing the eyewatering costs for some settings. The place we choose was much more reasonable in terms of price and affordable for us thankfully. We liked the sound of it with the addition of a forest school setting when he’s in the bigger classes too which I think he will love.
We don’t really have any aims for preschool, nor do we have any concerns bar the fact that we want him to make friends and have a chance to play outside. I’ve talked about not having a garden so many times on this blog and it’s still frustrating and has been even more so in the last year being stuck inside. So now he’s enrolled and going in two afternoon sessions a week to play, make friends and get some much needed outside time. He’s had such a fun time the last few sessions, has run in with the staff and had a great time. When we get there he wants to rush straight in although there’s a whole thing with lines and waiting.
I’m really happy with our decision, one of the only things thats frustrating is there is no real handover or chance to discuss issues which I find hard as I don’t really know what he’s been doing. It’s very much a drop and go situation as parents aren’t allowed in and I appreciate they have to follow the rules but I’d like to know more about what he’s getting up to and if he’s making friends with the other children. It has, however, only been a few sessions so he’s got plenty of time to make friends and play. We also have all those super cute moments to look forward to with him bringing stuff home. He brought home his first painting the other day which was just adorable.
I think this change will be really good for him and I’m so proud that he’s taken it so well.
