The sun has been shining, we’ve had lots of lovely things happen this month but mostly it’s all about ending the school term. Evie has now done her Year 2 SATs and Adam has finished his college lessons with just a few more assignments to hand in and two more exams in June. I’m so proud of both of them, they’ve done really well this year and it sort of feels like after this half term holiday not much will be going on. There is a real air of ‘finality’ – (is that a thing?) thanks to so many end of school productions, exams, school trips, sports days…
Adam celebrated his 27th birthday at the beginning of the month and we had a day out shopping and to see Avengers Infinity War which I really loved. I’m a huge fan of Marvel films and it was a nice day out for the both of us. He has had a lot of wrapping up to do with college and that now sees the end of his lessons. Now it’s just a case of handing in his spiral bound final project and waiting for the final marks. I’m pretty confident he will have passed but it’s just a case of waiting now. Hopefully, by the end of June he will have that final grade back and we can properly celebrate with our holiday to the Isle of Wight. With that final mark back and his portfolio for the year being handed in he should know pretty soon if his conditional offer at Winchester University will change to unconditional and off he will go! The access course in social sciences he has pretty much completed has been full of ups and downs but actually, he’s done so well, stuck it out, got everything handed in on time and has a great mix of passes, merits and distinctions.
He’s surprised himself with finishing the course as so many people have dropped out that have much less responsibilities than he does. He’s done the course over three days a week, working 30 hours a week in the evening and of course still supporting his family. It’s been hard and a challenge to juggle it all but he’s done it. Fitting it all in was tough and there were a few 3am or 4am late nights to make sure things were referenced correctly, edited and read well. Getting in his final project and being told it didn’t need any edits, that it read well and that his tutor “thoroughly enjoyed reading it.” was a real compliment.
He’s also now told his employer of his intention to take paternity leave as that date was really creeping up on us. He’s going to be taking two weeks starting with the date of the birth and obviously as we don’t know when that will be, he will just have two weeks off in the Autumn. Even though he will be going to University (hopefully) having him home in the evenings for two weeks, whilst certainly isn’t enough time to adjust to life as a family of four and as a dad of a newborn, it is better than nothing. He cut his hours down last November so actually will only be working for about five hours each evening providing it continues to fit in with his University timetable. One of the biggest perks he has with his current job is two weeks off over Christmas which he just wouldn’t have with any other job and actually it will be around the time Baby F is around three months old. We have also collected quite a few more things for Baby F including a Baby Crate bed, Electric Breast Pump, Clothes, Comforters and now a baby bath too. I’ve also just ordered my first set of cheeky wipes which will be great to try with hands and faces over the summer.
Being a first time dad, he’s feeling a bit anxious starting University around the same time Baby F is due but I know he will take it all in his stride. As long as Baby F is fed, clean and Evie gets to school I’m literally not worrying about getting anything else done for those first few weeks whilst we adjust. Adam was pretty confident we were having a boy from the beginning and just had that ‘feeling’ so he said our gender reveal didn’t really come as a shock. He was so glad, seeing the scan, that everything was okay and he was growing really well. His month highlight has been having the two bank holidays where he gets the Sunday night off work and it’s been nice spending a bit more time together.
Evie went to Devon at the start of the month which was a little weekend surprise with her dad. The weekend after she came back we obviously found out we are having a boy. At first she was really anxious and a bit sad that she was going to be having a baby brother but she is coming around to the idea and I’m sure she will be more excited when he’s here. She’s done with SATs which she didn’t actually mind. They referred to them as challenge booklets and gave out sweeties (from the school that wants to take chocolate out of lunchboxes?) during them doing them. I guess it was to take a bit of pressure of? I don’t know, I don’t know why teachers do things but to be honest if she just remembers the sweets and not the tests then fine! Next term she is starting swimming lessons at school as they have a pool there. She’s actually quite anxious as it’s been a year since she stopped doing private swimming lessons – our pool was demolished and I haven’t signed her back up since the temporary pool reopened but I think I’m going to get her back on the waiting list. I think once she’s had a few lessons at school she will pick everything back up again, although, she’s so confident in the water and loves jumping in and playing so I’m not worried.
I’ve had quite a few bouts of anxiety and a general low mood over the last few weeks. I am feeling much better now thanks to a chat with my Doula and a care package I received from my lovely best friend and just taking some time to recharge and a few days of quiet time. I’m glad it’s half term, the alarm is off and we can work to our own plans for the week plus Evie goes to her dads for a few extra nights which means we have some child free time to look forward to.
I think the low mood has culminated for a lot of things really. A bit of gender anxiety has come into play. I’m really excited about having a son, but I’m a bit anxious and feel quite a lot of pressure. Some passing comments have been made about my weight and the general pregnancy hormones that have been up and down have made it all a bit tough. I’ve talked about it though and I did a weekly update vlog too because I think it’s important to share these feelings. Pregnancy isn’t always sunshine and rainbows after all. Some people really can’t stand being pregnant and I think I’m really lucky that I am relatively symptom free except the emotional roller coaster. I think I’m just going to continue trying to remain active during my pregnancy and I’m really looking forward to our holiday at the start of July. I also tried this very delicious iced raspberry lemonade. It’s amazing.