Like everyone I have found the last couple of years completely out of my depth and as such I have struggled to maintain doing something I love, and have loved, for years. The lack of routine, inspiration, socialising with other writers and just general stress and anxiety of the pandemic and having to parent and crisis school and take care of my mental health. It has really taken it’s toll. I have truly been pushed to my limits in ways I didn’t even know I could be pushed.
I want to write, so very badly, and this blog has been a solace for so many years; a source of income and a place to cathartically express things I’ve struggled with alongside things I’ve loved. It’s been a diary of my children’s lives, a scrapbook of our holidays together and navigating self employment. It’s been a place to express my frustrations and feelings. I miss having that space I created for so many reasons back in 2013. Even this, right now, is hard. I’m struggling to let the words flow, I’m struggling to focus and not procrastinate and do something else because writing has not been a part of my daily routine as it was for some time and that makes me desperately unhappy.
I feel like I’m no longer part of something. There was a blog before the pandemic and then there is now. A place where I own and love and cherish but doesn’t really have any direction anymore. I have been told so many times that to grow a blog you need to write authentically but find how you can help people and I’ve tried so many different avenues. I know it’s all about finding that sweet spot between writing what you love and writing what will help.
So really I just want to say that I’m still here. I’m just figuring out what to say and what to write right now. I’ve got some ideas and things I want to talk about. I’ve got some reviews I’d like to share and most importantly I want to talk to my friends again. I want to read what they’re doing again and see how things have changed for them.
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