my real fears about COVID-19

i don’t know what to believe anymore. i don’t trust our prime minister and i don’t think he cares at all about public health when so many other countries are taking harsher measures to enforce this. it seems like they’re going down the route of herd immunity which means around 60% of the population need to catch and recover from covid-19 to prevent the spreading. it’s basically a big fuck you at the public really. i know a lot of you are going to die but that’s just the way it is *shrugs*

i don’t want to visit my family because i don’t want to make them ill in case i have unknowingly been in contact with someone that has it because lots of people seem to be carriers before any symptoms of around two weeks. so that’s excellent. adam’s sister is a nurse and has told us she’s helping those with covid-19 in the area so of course we’re worried about her because, like all health care providers, they are at the front line of this trying to keep it under control and flatten the curve as it were.

my family are all smokers apart from us and as this is affecting the lungs and going to pneumonia for so many people so naturally i am worried about my parents getting sick because they’ve smoked all their lives. my mum has had pneumonia which was horrible to watch her go through. my youngest sister has had so many cases of bronchitus and whilst she’s not in an ‘at risk’ group and vapes instead of smokes i still worry about how she will cope with this. i worry about my grandad who has copd and over 70 so unlikely to survive this. adam’s nan’s nursing home has said no visitors unless an emergency which i completely understand because a virus like this would go through care homes like wildfire.

the evidence and numbers seem to suggest that children are least likely to suffer critically but many of my friends have children with childhood asthma, or even asthma themselves which again puts them massively at risk. i myself have an 18 month old who in our family is my biggest worry. however, looking at the statistics and numbers i think adam and i will be able to survive this virus. i am sure we would both be incredibly unwell and parenting would be very difficult. there’s no real time frame for how long this might last for, some people it seems to be just over a week, some much longer.

we are doing, as a family, all we can really. thankfully adam now drives and hasn’t had many classes at university due to the strikes for the last couple of weeks. he’s currently off work for 12 days so that will help with social distancing. i’m a home worker so our only real risks have been school and shopping. we’re also very lucky that if things were to close we do not have to pay for childcare and i am already home. i am hoping i would be able to pick up some work, no matter how small, to help get us through.

my real fear is the uncertanty with adam’s work. he is on a zero hour contract and works for a small business. if they were told to close would he and all the staff automatically get statutory sick pay until the business reopened again? would his manager allow for people to take a loan-advance of their wages over the month or so they would be closed? will our housing association suspend rent arrears for a few months? will adam get absolutely nothing and we will be left having to beg and borrow money throughout april to afford electric and food?

people are stockpilling stuff (apparently loo roll is the thing they are the most worried about) which is dangerous and is driving prices up for things like paracetamol and calpol. formula for babies is hard to get. nappies are hard to get. milk is hard to get. pasta has become unaffordable for so many people. should i be getting a couple of tins on my next shop? an extra box of painkillers or calpol just in case? more oat milk? should i fill up the freezer? should we still go on holiday?

this uncertainty is what is worrying me because i don’t really know what to do. i don’t know if we will be okay financially. i know what to do to try and prevent covid-19 – wash hands frequently, avoid touching the face, practise social distancing, be sensible but don’t panic. other than that though i don’t really know what to do or how to prepare for the worst.

this is a worrying time for so many friends and family. i am glad we have technology that can help us connect with each other during times of worry. the online world can bring us closer to people when we need to stay away which will help people not feel so isolated. if you are worried too, you’re not alone and i hope you stay well and as stress free as possible. i am always here to talk if you need it.

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