Diet culture has lead to decades of body image issues and been a key factor in eating disorders. It’s time to say no to diets and yes to health.
Diet culture has ruined my life. I am not saying that to be dramatic, I’m saying it because it’s true. It’s made me diet from my early teens through my twenties and as a result I’ve got fatter and fatter. I am living proof that diets don’t work and they don’t work because I am yet to undo all the damage I have around food, around health and around when I am allowed or should not be allowed to eat. I know I’m not the only person that feels like this because it’s a conversation I have with friends on a very regular basis. So if right now you are feeling shit because you’re fat and you have no idea what to do and you’re sick of starving yourself then this post is for you. When I first starting looking into fat liberation and body positivity I felt I was too fat to even try.
Ditching the unhealthy obsession with Diet Culture
I’ve been attempting to unravel all that damage now for the last 14 months and I am not there yet. I wish I could say that I’m super thin and happy and healthy and everything is perfect right now but I can’t because it’s not true, well, some of it is not true. I am happier and I’m no longer obsessed with food, calorie counting and weighing myself. I don’t sit there *every* night wishing I could cut off the fat from my stomach. I realise typing this how insane that sounds but again I won’t lie. There have been times were I’ve contemplated grevious self harm to be thin because for all of my life I have been told the only way to be healthy is to be thin. I didn’t want to do this to myself anymore. I don’t want to say I’ve been on a journey because my fat bum hasn’t moved alot in the last 12 months but I have slowly but surely changed the focus. Now rather than hating myself I’m angry at diet culture. I’m also pretty angry at the government and how they plan to try and improve the health of the nation because it’s problematic.
What is diet culture?
It’s the photoshopped magazines, the slimming club adverts, the fat shaming, the “have you thought of going on a diet?” when you go for a smear test. It’s the stigma when your fat and pregnant, or trying to concieve. It’s the feeling of laughter if you exercise. It’s the years and years of beauty myths saying thin is beauty, thin is grace, thin is the life you want. It’s the cause of eating disorders, of our daughters thinking their fat when they’re ten years old. It’s the constant need to lose weight to be considered attractive, worthy, loved and someone to be kind to. It’s the bullying, it’s the constant need to label food as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. It’s the fear of not being accepted as a decent person, the assumption you’re stupid and lazy.
It is hugely problematic, and a predatory industry that does not care about your health but relies on your constant desire to be thin to make money. It is making weight loss the goal, never health. It is the reason for so many eating disorders and why doctors and therapists and dieticians are talking about weight stigma and disordered eating.
We have all been victims to it at some point in our lives.
Do you really want to be the friend that’s always on a diet?
No I bet you don’t because that person is boring. The person that is constantly saying I’ve lost 2lbs this week, I’ve gained 3lbs this week and I don’t know why. The person that only ever wants to talk syns. It’s the person that always feels guilty for having an extra chocolate bar or indulging in a favourite snack. I was this person and I hated being that person, consumed by what I was allowed to eat. I felt controlled and childlike, as if I wasn’t able to make my own decisions and that lead to binge eating, more feelings of failure and being fatter. What a life I’ve had!
Turning 30 has been liberating; ditching diet culture and finally feeling the most ‘Me’
I was so afraid of turning 30 thinking I had messed up my twenties by being fat and not really doing anything but now I look back and think about all the time I’ve wasted dieting and talking about ‘when i’m not fat’ and obviously that just hasn’t happened. Now I still think about what I eat but the pressure isn’t as strong for it to always be a salad or lets face it something that tastes awful.
I have more time to do things I want because I’m not preoccupied with punishing myself to exercise or focusing on weight loss. I have found clothes I like to wear and feel comfortable in. I eat all kinds of food that I enjoy but I don’t feel the pressure to eat until I bloat or like it’s my last meal. I’m no longer binging chocolate because I eat it when I fancy it. I think about my emotions and what will statisfy my feelins the most. Sometimes it’s food, but most of the time it’s reading, or drawing or video games or a walk or watching a comedy. I no longer feel I have to feed my feelings but I also acknowledge that sometimes that’s what I need. Life is better for me.
EmberStag Candles creates bookish themed vegan coconut-soy wax candles and literature inspired tea for bookworms and book lovers around the globe. This post showcases some of my favourite products
Ad – I used to be part of the Rep & Influncer team for EmberStag Candles – a small biz that makes book themed soy wax candles and tea. You can shop on Etsy or on their own website.
About EmberStag Soy Wax Candles
EmberStag Candles is a small business based in the UK that features a collection of bookish themed soy wax candles, and now, some tea. As a huge lover of literature, subscription services and book boxes it is no surprise that I am also quite fond of themed merchandise. To find other businesses that create lovely things based on the books they loved makes me really happy and so I now have quite a collection of bookish things.
I first found EmberStag candles on Instagram @emberstagcandles and loved the look of them. The first candle I purchased was Faerie Fruit which is inspired by The Folk of the Air series. I really loved all the little details of the candle from the quote, charm and label. They just all looked really cool and different to candles I’d used in the past. Knowing that they were vegan soy wax candles really helped my purchase decision too.
I’ve since made several purchases and spoken with Holly, the owner, a few times and she’s always been incredibly helpful and kind. I’m always excited to see her reveals during her regular restocks and love seeing how fast her new candles sell out. Each purchase has been securely packaged and I’ve also had a few lovely freebies like soy wax melts, stickers and book marks. The scents of these soy wax candles and soy wax melts are always amazing and always fit the theme of the book really well.
Emberstag Candles create bookish themed candles and loose leaf tea. This is the first soy wax candle from Ember Stag Candles I ever purchased
Between September and December 2020 I am part of the rep team which I am excited about because I love sharing products that are fun, cool and look amazing. I am hoping it will help with my product photography skills too so I can show them off in all their glory.
EmberStag Candles Candle Boxes
This is the second candle box I’ve purchased from EmberStag candles. These are limited quantity and have a particular theme. The first box was themed with the works of VE Schwab and included five candles, a metal mark, some stickers, a mug and a jar of chocolate and mint tea. All the candles are limited edition made specifically for the box and again the extra touches were really well planned out.
An unboxing of the VE Schwab box including soy wax candles and bookish themed tea and mugs.
Unboxing The Dark Mark Candle Box
Every quiz I do tells me I’m a firm Ravenclaw but I do have some Slytherin traits and I do love some of the villians in the Wizarding World so I was really excited to see the direction Holly would go for this box. There is an unboxing video below
The Dark Mark Candle Box Contents
The box included:
A selection of sticks A mug with exclusive design Loose leaf tea in Nagini Jar 5 themed candles – Lord Voldemort, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange & Malfoy Manor Mini potions The Dark Mark wax melts
an unboxing of the dark mark candle box from emberstag candles including soy wax candles, wax melts, mini potions and bookish themed tea.
Other EmberStag Candles I love
I have a lovely collection of EmberStag Candles some, some of which are no longer available, some of which are limited edition but I have been eager to snap a few during restocks. I really need to burn some of them to make space for new soy wax candles! You can shop tea and candles and use code CANDYFLOSS10 to save. Here are some of my personal favourites and recommendations.
How sustainability is not affordable for the time and financially poor. Sustainability goes hand in hand with affordability. Discussing how poverty and low income workers struggle to afford to be eco friendly and sustainability and why they buy into greenwashing
Affordability & Sustainability: Why They Need to Work Together to Make A Change for the Better
Do you consider yourself a green family? A zero waste expert? Eco friendly? Are you just trying to do your bit to help the environment but actually when you look into it you think how the fuck do people afford to do all this? I am in that camp. This is me. A little while ago I wrote how being zero waste was poverty shaming and I stand by this because it is. However, the planet is in crisis, the environment is being destroyed and no one knows how to save it. There are loads of things the individual person can do to make a difference but let’s be honest it’s commerce, businesses and firms that are mostly responsible for the destruction of the world. Right now sustainability is not affordable.
Not all families are able to afford to live zero waste and sustainable lifestyles
Global Companies and Government Need to do better!
The problem here though is that not all of the worldwide governments ‘believe in climate change’ which gives them no motivations to enforce laws and sanctions on companies that do nothing to minimise their damage. That don’t pay their staff fairly. That are damaging and exploitive for it’s workers. They don’t do enough globally and collectively to look for green energy sources of power despite these warnings that fossil fuels will eventually run out anyway. Sadly, on an individual level there isn’t a lot we can do. Sustainable living is not affordable when the government doesn’t want to help those that struggle the most.
We look at our own country and government who insist that extinction rebelling are basically the same as terrorists – eco terrorists, I mean they’re not Poison Ivy (perhaps we actually need an anti-hero like her to get the job done?). When are they going to come up with one of their (stupid) infamous three world slogans for saving the planet? (they won’t because saving the planet and environment will cost their buddies money). We will never, ever get anywhere with two party politics. The time for that system to change is now, and green representatives needs to have a say in how the country is run. Maybe it would be if we didn’t have an electorate that runs on classism and racism even when their governement lies to them…but that’s a post for another day
Governments need to reduce emmissions now, not at 2025. I can tell you what will help people be more eco friendly and sustainable. Funding. Fair funding for mental health, physical health, education, employee rights, living wages and fair and equal housing costs. When a country equally funds a society you can expect to see less crime, more spending, more qualified individuals, a happy population, a happy work force and just basically a happy society. Happier people want to put their energy into things that can make them do better. Happier people who aren’t so stressed about money and health and work and education all the time will be able to afford greener energy, electric cars and will be easily able to support smaller, sustainable businesses. The problem with this is that it’s not compatible with capitalism.
Capitalism is the brick wall of sustainability & affordability working together
Capitalism is shit. There’s no denying it. We are told we all have equal opportunites, we are told we have a consumer choice and we are told that all we need to do is work hard to get what we want. I am calling bullshit. What’s the point in working hard on a zero hour contract with no chance of promotion and to be told you could have no hours next week?
How is their a consumer choice when it’s hard for small businesses to start? Or when Amazon offer prime now and people can get instant gratification? How is it helpful when there is a gender pay gap? When private schools (aka people with money) can offer better education and ignore the government approved national curriculum? You can literally buy a shortcut to success if you can afford it so what’s the point. When your press is funded by the government you’re not getting any clear, non biased information at all.
Capitalisim basically keeps the poor poor and poorly educated working all hours in a job they hate to buy stuff from rich people on credit, to get into debt because they’re told by advertising and their press that they “need” things because it will make them look and feel richer. Basically, Fight Club and the song Between Angels and Insects by Papa Roach explains what capitalism does and why it’s really shit.
Okay, so what does this have to do with sustainability?
So why is sustainable unaffordable? My point is that sustainability is unaffordable for the working class of this country and quite frankly, whilst I agree we should all do our part, because of the government choices, because of capitalism and because of our education and classist attitude the working class can’t do it all because they can’t afford it. Of course some people are poor and savvy, they are living a low waste lifestyle out of necessity rather than choice. But some people are both finanically and time poor, and therefore will pay the fee for convinience which results in more waste and plastic filled alternatives. If people were paid fairly and job offers were flexible we’d probably see more people making a difference.
If environmental studies was part of the cirruculum our children would be tempted to make changes. If cooking skills was part of the national cirriculum children would grow up understanding about meal preparation to save money, prevent waste and be able to cook (having a knock on effect in the “ob*sity crisis” this country faces – a crisis because the government are fatphobic and ignore the socioeconmoics that link poorness with fatness and deprivation but NEVERMIND).
The thing is it’s up to companies to pay their wages fairly and not use child labour. It’s up to companies to be more inclusive and sustatinable to prevent fast fashion. It’s all very well going charity shopping but that isn’t always size inclusive and sometimes denotes a person’s style – we want to feel good in the clothes we wear, as fat people, not frumpy! It’s up to companies to reduce their plastic usage and use recyclable, biodegradable materials. It’s up to companies to set the price point and make sustainable things affordable for poor people. If it’s just for the rich, then it won’t work and it won’t save the planet and therefore it completely negates any form of sustainable claims because it is only ever going to be sustainable if it is affordable.
By all means, you do you. Although I would say try not to buy into greenwashing. Just because it has a ‘sustainable’ ‘eco friendly’ or ‘clean living’ logo on it’s shiny packaging doesn’t mean it is. It’s only biodegradable if you put it on a compost heap. If it goes in the bin and to landfill it won’t be able to biodegrade because of the state of our landfills. If you recycle but it goes to an incinerator then you’re not doing your part because it fuels carbon emissions anyway. The make your own brigade won’t appeal to those that are time poor because it will just be another stress on their never ending to do list that they will struggle to fit in. You can do the best you can with the resources you have.
Can you make sustainability affordable without greenwashing?
Yes you can but again it’s hard to do if your time poor which is why green washing exists. It’s the illusion of convienience encouraging you to buy a particular product because it makes you feel like it’s sustainable. Some of the product might very well be but it isn’t just about that. If they only have one ‘green’ product but continue with all their others then they are not a sustainable company. It’s about researching and actually are you just paying a fee for a label or a sticker or are you actually contributing to real sustainability.
Some companies might say the use natural products but then still test on animals or refuse to pay fair wages or use child labor or invest in fossil fuels. Your money will contribute to those things even if the product you buy claims to be sustainable. It follows the old adage if it seems to good to be true, it probably is.
There are some genuinely wonderful companies out there that are really trying to be affordable and sustainable but these are few and far between. There are some amazing small businesses that make products that are just as affordable as high street brands but are more ethically sourced and are more transparent about their ethos on zero or minimal waste. The thing is we pander to big advertisements and again, those that are time poor often don’t have time to find and research everything they purchase to see if it’s green washing or not. Green washing is the bain of making sustainability affordable for all.
So what should you do?
Think about the three principles of sustainability. I can’t tell you what to do but I will say that the ethos reduce, reuse, recycle can be applied to every single purchase you make.
Do I really need to buy this item, is it saving me time or money, do I use it? How can I reuse or repurpose this item before I throw it away? Is there an alternative I can buy to reuse this item better? Can I recycle this? Can I make this into something new?
Here are some ideas and suggestions that might be beneficial to you. I don’t expect anything from you but to use this as inspiration. But the pressure needs to be put on the government, on companies, and on purchasing decisions. Support small, local businesses if and where you can.
Buy tins/glass rather than plastic Swap disposable for reusable wipes/nappies/cleaning cloths/teabags Buy solid soap/shampoo/conditioner Make your own cleaners Avoid throwing away food Eat less meat Buy white toilet paper, not coloured or dyed (or use reusables) Buy fruit/veg loose rather than covered in plastic Buying secondhand Swapping energy supplier Using your local library
If you have the time and financial availability you can broaden your sustainability more
Litter picking/beach clean ups Using refill stores and shops Using your local farm shop An electric car/hybrid Prep meals as and when you can Create a capsule wardrobe Avoid buying new Try some vegan meals/alternatives
Mostly try and research who you’re buying from. If this purchase is a can’t change but you could buy it from a more sustainable business then have a look around. If you have a choice use it because your choices will help make sustainability more affordable.
Don’t Let Guilt Weigh You Down
The most important thing I want to stress is I hold no judgement at all. It isnt YOUR fault that sustainability isn’t the norm when the government isn’t doing everything in it’s power to make sustainability affordable. It isn’t YOUR fault if you don’t earn enough to be able to choose where you shop. It isn’t YOUR fault if the charity shops don’t have clothes that fit you or second hand ebay bundles aren’t your style. You are allowed to be an individual and frustratingly fast fashion is currently the most affordable and size inclusive option.
If the only thing you can do is switch to buying in tins and glass then that is amazing. It’s something. It’s a change. Do what you can with the resources you have. Sing petitions. Raise awareness. Vote for the party candidate that will make a difference.
Ad – I was sent two bottles of wine to review on my blog. All opinions remain my own.
I remember the first time I tried a Valpolicella wine. I loved how the name sounded and it stuck with me, as well as the rich, smooth flavour. It was the wine that converted me to give more reds a go and then changed my preference from white wine to red. It’s not one I tend to buy often but I was thrilled to try the Rubinelli Valpolicella Classico DOC 2018 from Independent Wines recently.
Rubinelli Vajol Valpolicella classico red wine from Independent Wines
For this bottle Adam and I set ourselves up one evening with the wine and the absolute classic red wine dish – steak. I cooked the steak up in a griddle pan and we ended up having a really lovely evening chatting away with good food. This Valpolicella was quite light in colour compared to others that I’ve tried in the past but still had a lovely ruby colour to it. It was tart in flavour with notes of red berries and cherries but had a smooth, almost creamy finish. It paired perfectly with our meal and was incredibly easy drinking. Buying wine online is a really accessible way to try a variety of different grapes from different regions and Independent Wine make this super easy.
If you fancy pairing this wine with something different it’s a great alternative to Pinot Noir and will pair well with lots of Italian style poultry, seafood and grilled vegetable dishes. Originally, we planned to pair this with roasted Duck breast as I thought the berries and cherries tasting notes would complement it really well but sadly we couldn’t get the meal together. It was incredibly pleasent with steak and mushrooms however, and it went down easily. I often think the earthyness of mushrooms brings in fruity flavours really well in a wine.
Pairing the Valpolicella red wine with a steak dish
I found learning about where this particular wine was from using the map and tasting guide on the website really interesting. It shows that this Valpolicella is from the Veneto region in Italy, close to Lake Garda, Venice in the south and the Alps in the north. Apparently, it’s a really productive region for wine growing. Perhaps with it’s proximity to Venice is another reason why Valpolicella has always appealed to me as it’s a place so high on my bucket list to visit, particularly during Carnival. I love the theatre associated with Venice and I guess this wine makes me think of that.
Ad – we received a Smiggle gift card to purchase back to school stationary in exchange for this feature.
Like almost every other parent with school age children I am facing the return to school with my daughter next week. She finished her classroom learning in March after a school trip with friends and now returns taller, older and a bit more anxious. Smiggle have helped make this transition a little easier by allowing us to purchase some back to school supplies. They have a lovely new Smiggle Budz range which has everything you need in one back to school bundle and perfect for the new school year. However, Evie still had a few things from last year that would be fine to continue and wanted to select a different bag. She also picked a pretty cool stationary kit and some new headphones – not back to school, but Smiggle have an amazing choice of fun things for kids and it’s one of Evie’s favourite shops.
How are you feeling about being back to school? I think Evie’s excited to see her friends but I’m not really sure. She has missed them but her closest friends are in a different class to her which always affects her quite badly. She stopped attending the classroom but continued with learning at home in March, half way through year 4. She went in for two days over the summer to meet her new teacher and half of her class as it was staggered to keep numbers low. One thing is for sure is that starting Year 5 is not the same as we pictured or even started school this time last year.
I have no issue with what the school are doing to keep everyone safe and try and catch people up with their maths and English. Evie has done various bits of school work over the last six months from workbooks to BBC Bitesize lessons and some of the home school learning packs from the school too. It’s been a challenge for us all being stuck in a small flat with no garden and being anxious. Here are some ways I know getting back to school will benefit Evie, even if we’re worried about the risks.
She will get outside every day. We didn’t walk daily during lockdown as we didn’t have a garden, Felix was new to walking and there’s only so many times you can do the same walk without having to travel from home. I was never really sure what we were allowed to do as everyone was doing different things. Evie will get time to burn off some energy outside and be walking to and from school each day.
We will all benefit from some routine again. I mean don’t get me wrong I have enjoyed not setting an alarm and relaxing around bedtime but that needs to change this week. I think we are all going to benefit from getting back to school routine in place and getting out the door the same time each morning.
She will socialise with her friends again. Evie will be intereacting with everyone in year five as a “social bubble” which seems weird as that bubble is around 60 kids. However, even with the risks, she really does need to see her friends again. I don’t think she will socially distance at all because she will forget. Others will forget. Because they’re children.
Having some structure to each day. We were pretty relaxed with home learning and it didn’t take us six hours a day to do the worksheets and online learning we had. Having some proper, clear structure to her day will be a benefit to her for sure. She will probably enjoy learning from her teacher more than she ever did with me!
Even though it won’t be the same as normal, I think it will be good for her to be back to some sort of normal. This virus hasn’t gone away and so we will be limiting our time spend with others because of course children can cause transmission of this virus and I don’t want to be the cause of anyone geting sick with both Adam & Evie returning to education this month
I know I’m looking forward to having a bit of time during the day back. So much has changed since we first had Evie home. Felix can walk and is hurtling into his toddler years fully. The time spend working will be different and there’s a chance we will face another few periods of isolation depending on how school goes. I hope though, that it will be a good experience for everyone, that everyone stays safe and that mostly kids enjoy this strange start to education, their new classroom environments and having some normality back in their lives.
