Candyfloss & Dreams

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  • a trying start to 2020

    a trying start to 2020

    each time i head outside for a walk with my family (whilst we are still allowed outside for exercise – please don’t ruin it for us, the ones that have no access to outside spaces or the luxury of a garden) i am overcome with sadness. last week was my first trip into a shop in a while as we had been isolating with symptoms. all recovered and feeling better i went to get some a few bits of food and saw all the seperation markings on the floor both outside and inside the shop to maintain people stay two metres a part.

    it is incredibly surreal having to dodge the few people allowed inside a supermarket at one time. i witnessed people being told to seperate if they were suspected of shopping together flouting the one adult per household rule. i have seen the signs on shop doors saying closed until further notice and it widens it up with just how many people are being affected by this.

    i have friends and family members being advised to stay home and in isolation for 12 weeks who i can still connect with online and through video calling. friends who can thankfully work at home and those that have been laid off or furloughed from their job. on my walks i have seen people maintaining distancing but also giving a smile and a hello as they walk their dog.

    i have heard stories on how this is hard and how i should be grateful for what i have because i’m one of the lucky ones. that’s true, i am. i am fortunate enough to be with my partner and kids in a social housing home without the threat of being evicted and the safety net of some student finance at the start of may to help us pay our rent and bills until the furlough scheme comes in. i should be able to claim some money from the taxable self employed grant in june. we’re not keyworkers so we don’t have to work right now.

    there are of course others that are much better off than us. those that are working from home on full pay, those with a garden and access to outside spaces on their property. those that have savings to cover their bills for the time being. anyone that has a delivery saver spot and can get a weekly online shop. those without kids that are working from home but don’t have to also figure out how to homeschool and explain over and over why they can’t see family or friends or touch people or run or climb or do anything that could involve a trip to a & e because we can’t put pressure on the stretched nhs like that. those that have the privledge and virtue signalling to tell us ‘it could be worse’.

    of course i know that it could be worse but it doesn’t mean it’s not hard. it’s all relative isn’t it? someone else’s hard doesn’t invalidate how hard it is for me and my family. i of course feel sorry for people that fall through the gaps and have much more restriction than i do, of course i do. i am overwhelmed with sadness reading how many people have died due to this disease today. i am angered by the amount of conspiracy theories going around. i am frustrated at the lack of work available right now. i am feeling just about everything too.

    these are trying times for us all, times we didn’t expect to have to deal with in 2020. a part of history we don’t want to be part of but will be. a time when we are likely to lose loved ones or see the grief of others. regardless of what happens we are going to feel the effects of this for a long, long time.

  • moonlight crate march unboxing

    moonlight crate march unboxing

    oh by now i’m sure you know my thing has absolutely been book boxes and witchy things. i have always had a witchy side and i’m enjoying embracing that a little bit more. i’m also embracing my love of books and bookish merchandise. i’ve had a few homes now since moving out and they have all the basic things but not a lot of it has really felt very me. perhaps that is what comes with shopping with small businesses, you find products that you love and use but are much more personal to your tastes. anyway, i digress…

    moonlight crate is a book box that is currently on pause until the summer with lockdown. i completely understand the decision for this and i’m glad i managed to get one of the books before the pause. it’s a really lovely box with a new read that sounds really interesting. the theme for the march box was everthing has it’s price and focused on characters that had to pay a high price in the book lives.

    the artwork print and spoiler card for the 'everything has a price' march book box from moonlight crate
    moonlight crate spoiler and artwork card

    the box was wrapped up in red glittery tissue paper with a name sticker and i absolutely loved that! the personal touch was really nice. inside the box was plenty of goodies including:

    spoiler card art print of elias veturius by niru.sky from an ember in the ashes
    a t-shirt (i choose my size) and it fits me really nicely with a book quote from wicked saints by emily duncan designed by myvalenstyles
    a team grey candle inspired by a curse so dark and lonely created by catcocandles scented with fresh grass and frangipani
    a blue chalcedony stone
    a tarot card; death and an accompaning short story
    a laia of serra magnet designed by astrolauu
    a travel mug with a serpent and dove quote
    the vanishing deep by astrid scholte

    an unboxing of march 'everything has a price' moonlight crate box featuring a tshirt, book, thermos, candle, crystal, magnet and tarot card.
    unboxing of the march ‘everything has a price’ moonlight crate

    thank you marta and greta for putting this lovely book box together! i’m looking forward to reading the included book which came with a signed book plate and the candle smells really nice. i love the magical stone, and short story too. this has been such a nice treat to have. i really like the addition of a bookish tee as well, and the fact that it goes to a comfortable size for me makes it even better!

  • #clapforcarers & keyworkers

    #clapforcarers & keyworkers

    recently people across the nation have been opening up their doors and windows to clap for carers and keyworkers. during this time i think it just goes to show who the real keyworkers are, the people that actually uphold society for everyone. the shopkeepers, nurses, carers, doctors, binmen, utility providers, telephone banking customer services, couriers, postpeople, police, firefighters, on the ground military personnel and so many more people that are told to stay in work because our infastructure relies on them so heavily.

    of course we would not be able to cope without our nhs and health care practitioners that are currently exposing themselves to this virus daily, hour after hour but shops are still open to provide our families, sick or otherwise with food. care homes are still operating with carers to look after our vulnerable elderly family members. couriers are still deliving the stuff we are all buying to keep up with this lockdown and entertain our kids. teachers are still working, through the holidays, to provide a safe place for vulnerable children. these are the people that are just about stopping the economy from crashing down all around us. those are the people that should be thanked, celebrated and appreciated.

    many people are struggling right now for many different reasons but those that have to work, do so, to help everyone else who has the priviledge to stay home. yes, being laid off, made redunant, is awful, its the worst timing but there is some help available and there are still people you can talk to if you’re struggling financially. it’s an issue, it’s a flawed system but there is no replacement for the intensive care workers trying to battle this virus and keep people alive. jobs, savings, bills can all be sorted, the economy will rebuild eventually (but this isn’t the most for that) but the lives lost will not be returned to us.

    so thank you for all our carers and keyworkers. i am sorry that right now people are being awful and rude to you. i will try and make up for this with a thank you, a smile, a clap. i will try and make your job as easy as i possibly can should you need to assist me. i will try to be patient and understanding. i will not blame you if the shelves aren’t fully stocked. i know their are shortages and difficult times ahead.

    not that long ago i shared about how everyone was talking about being kind and that sentiment has, as i predicted, disapeared. i know that many people are trying to control something in a surreal time, that they are angry at the situation. that they don’t know whether to laugh or cry their way through this. it’s not a nice time for anyone. but our carers and keyworkers are seperated from their families, are working so you can stay home and have the basic necessities you need. are doing everything they can to keep life moving through unprecedented times.

    so be kind.
    say thank you.
    think of others when you’re shopping.

    yes your feelings are valid, yes it’s shit, but no, it’s not anyone you’re going to come into contact with’s fault. you don’t need to be an arse. you might not be able to control what’s going on in the world, but you can absolutely control your actions towards other people.

  • felix at 18 months

    felix at 18 months

    it feels weird to be writing about normal things in this weird time but i thought it would be nice to share how felix is doing with friends, family and followers. these past 18 months have been a complete whirlwind and having little ones during this surreal time has been really strange, especially in our small space.

    felix enjoying some chocolate cake

    felix is now walking and running and climbing. he’s obviously gotten taller as he can reach the door handles, and tries to shut and open doors. he frequently opens up the cupboard and helps himself to a fistful of cereal much to everyone’s dismay. he hates waking up from his afternoon nap and is often hangry so we’ve started giving him something to eat around 10.30/11, a nap around 11.30-12noon and then more food when he wakes up, as well as milk with nap time. his favourite meal remains spag bol.

    felix and evie having a cuddle and playing ps4

    he loves building blocks with his toys, shaking a tambourine and playing the maracas. he’s also played evie’s recorder a few times right in my ear which is nice of him. he also loves music and dances with this cute little jump wiggle which is so funny. he also loves playing chase with evie, or trying to find us if we hide and say boo.

    felix and his fabulous fashion sense

    his most used word is no but he can also say mummy, daddy, narna, i know, i don’t know, where is he, (usually when adam has gone to bed after a night shift or is still in bed) hi and bye. he repeats things when we ask like pepper, baby and other two syllable words. he hasn’t managed evie yet, much to her sadness. he also screeches a lot. usually if we ask “are you okay” he will respond with yes or no but obviously he doesn’t know what that means. or maybe he does or at least he’s starting too. i know, however, he does not like being told no, and we have had a glimpse into those tantrums from the terrible twos.

    felix having a walk with daddy

    i have to admit i really love this age. it’s tiring because you are constantly chasing after them and the quote ‘silence is golden, unless you are a toddler, then silence is suspicious’ is so apt for felix right now. he is so funny and his character and little voice is getting stronger and stronger. he’s begining to give big cheesy grins for the camera and he loves to give an arm stroke if he feels like you haven’t given him enough cuddles. he has started bringing us his coat and shoes when he wants to go out now we’ve let him walk outside although he is not very good at holding hands! i can’t wait until we can gake him to the park properly which will be in a very long time, i imagine he will have outgrown his shoes by then.

    felix having an outing

    it’s very weird parenting during this time and we are trying to make the best of a weird and surreal situation. with easter being next weekend, a time we usually try and do something for if not see friends and family, will be spent at home with a pretty minimal effort egg hunt around the flat. i’m sure we will find a good film to watch and enjoy a lovely dinner together for a family. hopefully adam will be feeling up to a walk too.

  • a darker shade of magic: book review

    a darker shade of magic by v.e. schwab was one of my latest reads. i decided to purchase the trilogy just after getting my sparks fly illumicrate box which contained pictured coasters of some of the characters. i was really intrigued and started reading the first book as soon as i got it.

    a darker shade of magic tells it’s tale from two points of view, kell from red london, an antari that can travel through using blood magic to other londons where he eventually meets lila bard, in grey london. there’s also white london which is full of power hungry, magic hungry people and once upon a time there was black london…

    i love the use of magic in this and the links between the magical worlds. i love the feeling of alternate reality books which bring our history into a magical world. it makes magic feel so much more real to me when i read this in fantasy books. it makes me feel like this kind of magic is possible and i absolutely love that.

    i really liked kell and lila through this, they’re a really funny duo. a particular scene comes to mind where kell, exasperated by lila says “what is wrong with you?” and i could just picture the scene so well. honestly, you’ll have to read it, but i think you’ll get it when you do. you’ll hear the exact tone he’s saying it in your mind.

    i found it was a bit of a slow burn for me but that meant i could dip in and out pretty easily. i liked how the books were sectioned off, each part aound five or so chapters in length and bring the story forward nicely. i’m really looking forward to finding out how the rest of the trilogy pans out too because this felt really complete. i really like books which end in a neat and tidy way but share there’s more to the characters relationships in the future. there’s a real sense of future adventure.

    a darker shade of magic is followed by a gathering of shadows and then a conjuring of light. there were some interesting points made in the first book which i’m eager to read about next so the second book is firmly on my to be read pile for april.

    One of my goals for 2020 is to read 52 books or around one a week. Some might be new, some are ones I’ve had for a while or been meaning to read, some I haven’t quite finished yet and some will be recommendations from others. You can see all the books I’ve read so far on my Good Reads 2020 Reading Challenge.