Candyfloss & Dreams

Tag: Hiring a Doula

Hiring a Doula Despite a Low Income
Having a Doula in this pregnancy has been invaluable. However, despite it being something extra, it has been necessary for me, not a luxury. It’s a service that I am fully away not every woman can afford however I wanted to share with you a few ways in which you can either afford Doula support, or, at least share with you why I think for my pregnancy and my circumstances it has been invaluable and, well, priceless. I hired my Doula when I was around 12 weeks pregnant and for me, the support, encouragement and conversations have really helped me have a lovely, positive pregnancy.

Hiring My Doula Sophie

When I first approached my now Doula I was pretty upfront and honest about my financial circumstances because I didn’t want to waste her time really. She got back to me fairly quickly and suggested we meet for a chat, or an interview, so I could get to know her, see if we clicked and how she could help me in this pregnancy. During the interview we discussed a payment plan which was affordable for me and, because I had booked her quite early in my pregnancy it has made the payments really manageable. Obviously, I won’t be going in to detail on how much I’m paying because it’s a private agreement between us but Sophie was really empathetic and told me that she believes Doula support should be available to as many women that want it and she was willing to work with her clients to make that support as affordable as possible.

Money aside, having Sophie by my side throughout this pregnancy has just been amazing. We have had plenty of phone conversations, texts and emails. Sophie has been supportive, encouraging and really helped me any time I’ve had a bit of a wobble by talking things through with me. She is calm, approachable, friendly and I feel really comfortable around her. We are coming close to my Doula On Call period now as I’m approaching full term which means that we will have more regular contact as I get closer to labour. Sophie, as my doula, has not offered medical advice but has helped me find places I can do my own reading and research. She has helped me to make confident, informed decisions and has been my yes person. Because of this every conversation I have had with my consultant and midwives have been really positive. I honestly believe that because I’ve had another supportive Yes person in my life that I have come across at these appointments as more informed and that in turn has really helped me to plan a birth I am feeling calm and confident about.

The Benefits of Having Doula Support In My Pregnancy

No longer am I focusing on the negative experience I had before but I am really looking forward to my birth. I’m not naive, I have a scar, I know there are risks and I know that the biggest issue for the NHS is my BMI rather than the fact I am attempting a VBAC. I am not expecting it to be painless but I do honestly believe that I will cope so much better throughout labour. I believe that I will be able to make calm, confident decisions because I know more about the risks and benefits of every choice. More than anything I know how labour starts and I know how negative fear is for labour and birth. For that reason I am really confident I will be able to have my home water birth however I also feel that if I need to transfer into hospital, I will still have the VBAC I want. Having a doula has helped me become more confident, more assertive when it comes to my choices and decisions and have a birth plan I’m happy with. I know there is every possibility that things might go differently, and that is completely okay because not only will I have Adam with me, but I will also have a Doula with me that will support my decisions and be my advocate when I might not be able to speak up for myself.

Tips on Affording a Doula on a Low Income

I have had a few women say to me that they wish they could have afforded a Doula so I wanted to share a few tips with how you might be able to come to an agreement that works for you.
1. Do your research. Doula’s are self employed, offer different packages at different prices. Look to find ones that are within your budget.
2. Book in early. The earlier you book in with a Doula the more options you have for things like a payment plan. Plus you’ll get more support and that can only be a good thing.
3. Consider a newly qualified Doula. They will be really enthusiastic and prices will reflect that they are newly trained. In my experience, Doula’s usually seem to be mothers themselves and want to support women more because they passionately believe in positive birth experiences.
4. Be honest. If you are on a low income speak to her, she may offer a low income discount and a more affordable payment plan for you.
5. Is there anything you can offer in return? A service you provide for an exchange of services? I’ve heard some Doula’s do offer this because, again, they want to help women and they want to make their support affordable. If you can both find a way to make things mutually exclusive don’t be afraid to bring that up when you meet and discuss fees. I have heard independent midwives can also offer this sort of service too, because, they are self employed and because the passion for helping is really high on their list of priorities.
6. Be reasonable. As I’ve said Doula’s are self employed and whilst they want to help, they don’t want to feel robbed or cheated. Excitement, love and passion for their job is huge for them but it is also how they earn money.
For more pregnancy content please head to my hub post which contains links to all my relevant pregnancy based blog posts. My second High Bmi Pregnancy.
August 30, 2018
Birth Planning With A Doula

Right at the start of my second trimester I blogged about hiring a Doula and how I felt that was the right decision for me. So far, I have to say, Sophie has been a great emotional support. She has been following me on Instagram, checking in if she notices I’m feeling a bit emotional, takes the time to listen and has been an advocate by text too. She is so welcoming and has been really supportive of our decisions for our birth plan and those first special weeks with our newborn. Thanks to her confidence and support, as well as pointing me in the right direction for positive information allowing me to make informed choices I am feeling really good about my plan for a VBAC and actually, I’m really excited about meeting my baby.

I, of course, have a little anxiety about how things will go but our recent appointment talked through pretty much every possible outcome. Having those ideas and speaking about them has made it really clear in my mind that I feel prepared for most situations. I can’t tell you what having that extra support outside of the NHS has been for me. Having that person to continually talk to about my birth plan and our family has been really, really lovely. I think as well it’s helping my midwife have extra faith in some of the decisions I’ve been making because she knows I’m getting all the information from the right places.

Sophie has recommended books, talked us through what might happen in the event of an emergency c-section, more for Adam’s benefit as obviously this is all new for him, and talked to us about our plan and the types of pain relief I want. She’s helped me talk through so many options for things like how Vitamin K is administered, optimal cord clamping or cord blood donation, what to do with my placenta and all those kind of things. Having someone that has the time to get excited with us and talk about a really personal plan is making me feel excited, safe and comforted. I really feel quite empowered by having her by my side and confident that she will be a great advocate for making my birth plan clear to my midwife during birth. That means Adam can be there for me too without having to make any on the spot decisions without talking them through with someone that also knows what I want. I feel so glad to have two people that can support me and ensure I am listened to.

Some people have asked us why or commented that they wouldn’t want another person in the room with them at the birth, or that their husband might not feel comfortable. It’s a really personal decision when it comes to hiring a Doula but Sophie has been there for both of us, talking to us both, answering any questions that we both have and Adam has been really supportive in my decision. Adam obviously wasn’t at my last birth so he just wants to make sure that no matter what I’m looked after and he is all for anything that I think will make the entire experience better. Hiring a Doula early on in my pregnancy has really made me feel positive and excited about the whole thing and as a result, knowing I have people to speak to about my emotional issues and to help me in times of anxiety as well as making positive informed decisions has been great.

It is a personal choice, of course and if you feel that hiring a doula is not a service you will need for your pregnancy then that is absolutely fine. However, if like me, you had a bit of a hard time of it before or you’re feeling anxious about birth then perhaps speaking to a doula and meeting with one might help you. Most Doula’s will expect a meeting where you can get together and see how you connect with each other. You want someone that is going to work in sync with you for your birth and that will help you make it the best experience for you, whether thats a natural home birth or a planned c-section.

For more pregnancy content please head to my hub post which contains links to all my relevant pregnancy based blog posts. My second High Bmi Pregnancy.

June 21, 2018
My Choice to Hire a Doula

Hiring a Doula for my Second Pregnancy

Have you ever hired a Doula before? I hadn’t, in fact, during my first pregnancy I didn’t even know that support like this existed. Perhaps if I had, my birth with my first daughter would have been so much easier. This time around, I am seeking out the best possible support I can to ensure I have the pregnancy, labour and birth that I want to have. After having a traumatic birth with an emergency c-section which in all honestly feels like such a long time ago now, I feel a little more informed about how I want this pregnancy to go. I’ve decided to have a hospital birth, I’m going to be pushing for a VBAC and now, thanks to the Doula I have decided to hire, I feel so much more informed about my choices. Now my first trimester is over and I’m welcoming the second, I feel like it’s the right time to start making some choices about my birth plan and support.

What is a Doula

A Doula is someone that offers support throughout pregnancy and birth. Some Doulas also offer postnatal care. You can have a Doula for pregnancy and Birth only, postnatal only or both. It depends on your preferences. Hiring a Doula is the same as paying for a private service. Most Doulas are hired by clients and packages are offered at a price that reflects the support offered by the Doula personally. You can choose to hire a longstanding Doula with experience or a newly qualified Doula who may be a little cheaper. Doulas do not offer a clinical or medical service but often have holistic therapy training to enable them to provide a variety of support. No doubt, there is probably a Doula out there for every woman depending on her needs and preferences. For vulnerable women there are a few NHS Doulas and the Doula Access Fund, a charity that works with women in need of extra support and care as well as women’s refuges. I’ve spoken openly about my own time in a women’s refuge and I’m really glad that this charity exists.

Searching for a Doula

I literally searched ‘Doula in Hampshire’ because that’s where I live and was pushed to click through the Hampshire Doula website. There were a few ladies on there which advertised their websites and contact details. I was drawn to one in particular and clicked through to find out more about her services. I really liked the sort of package she was offering for a ‘Birth Only’ Doula and decided to send her a message. Her name is Sophie, she’s relatively close to me and she suggested that I interview her. We arranged a time and date that suited us both and as she was close to my hometown it was for later on that week. Sophie recommended that both myself and Adam were there to chat to her so we could both ask questions and get everything out in the open. If you’re based in Hampshire and would like to read about Sophie’s experience and packages you can visit her website.

Interviewing a Doula

Sophie said that the most important thing when hiring a Doula is that you connect with each other and I completely get that. Preparing for labour and birth is incredibly personal and you ultimately want someone with you who you feel is going to be supportive and encouraging. If you don’t like your Doula then it’s going to affect your birth and you won’t feel comfortable getting into the nitty gritty with them. Sophie has been a Doula for a few years and the testimonials on her website were really positive and encouraging. I was looking forward to meeting her and feel we connected right away. Rather than a full on interview it was a very casual chat about everything really. Sophie is so informed about women’s choices during pregnancy and birth, some of which I did not know I was entitled to refuse. Sometimes choices are pushed on you which make you feel a little anxious but I really feel that with Sophie’s help I will be armed with a lot of information and with the help of my medical support I will be able to make the choices that let me have the best possible labour and birth whether that is the very hoped for VBAC or the possible Elective C-Section.

What I loved about Sophie is her friendly, bubbly and upfront personality. She is completely on board with Hypnobirthing and Childbirth Aromatherapy which are two things I really want to use in this pregnancy. Whilst she recommended that we interviewed other Doula’s in the area and sleeping on it, Adam and I felt she was already the right choice for us. Sophie had an agreement for us to read through and sign and alongside this and paying the deposit she is booking us in for September.

What’s Next?

Sophie is going to help us with our birth plan with some lengthy antenatal style visits, support me with hypnobirthing and go through the essential oils we can use. For a four week period around my due date Sophie will be available to me to assist with labour and birth including coming with me to the hospital. I feel that with Adam and Sophie, alongside my midwife and the staff at my chosen hospital I am going to be able to have a positive birth experience and I feel really good about the rest of this pregnancy. I will be writing more about using a Doula in my pregnancy updates and hopefully we will be able to tell you more when I write up our birth story.

For more pregnancy content please head to my hub post which contains links to all my relevant pregnancy based blog posts. My second High Bmi Pregnancy.

April 12, 2018