Candyfloss & Dreams

Tag: pregnancy

When Should You Allow Visitors After A New Baby?

I don’t think there is every really the correct time to introduce your new baby to your family and friends but it’s something I am starting to think about a lot. When I had Evie I had a lot of visitors in hospital, more so when I got home and my ex inlaws actually turned up out of the blue one evening when she was around a week old to take her out for a walk. It was really overwhelming for me and has really got me quite stressed about people visiting when Baby F is born. It makes it tough because for Adam and his family it’s a first baby and whilst I appreciate everyone wants to meet and get to know him, no one is more excited about meeting him than I am. The one that’s felt his kicks from 16 weeks, that will be birthing him, hopefully as naturally as possible and will in those first few weeks be attempting to establish breastfeeding. With all those hormones and trying to develop our bond with our new baby we have decided that we want to limit family and friends visits in those first few weeks.

My priority in those first few weeks will be getting Evie to and from school and feeding Baby F. That means my house will be a mess, I’ll be having midwives and health visitors and doctors appointments coming out of my ears, Adam will be starting University and Evangeline will be adjusting to life with a tired mum and a new baby brother. It’s a huge change for our family dynamic and I know that our time together is really important especially as Adam will only have his two weeks paternity leave. With all that new babies don’t actually like being passed around different people all the time and he is going to need to get used to our noises and smells and family life pretty quickly. Having too many visitors is just going to be way to overwhelming for us, let alone for a little baby.

I think it’s really important to be clear with friends and family and ask them to respect your privacy and ask to come over rather than just popping in. I know we won’t really have a problem with this as people never just turn up to visit us anyway and I know our friends will wait until invited to come and meet Baby F. I know I feel really uncomfortable with the idea of anyone visiting me in hospital, especially if I end up with another c-section because it’s a big surgery to recover from. Evie is also the most important person and, after myself and Adam, she needs to be the first person to meet Baby F from our family. This of course will be really difficult if we do end up with a hospital birth as neither of us can drive so will have to rely on family or friends to take us home.

I think it’s just important to remember that a new baby is exciting but to the parents it’s something they’ve been waiting for for a very long time. Privacy needs to be respected in these times and visits should be as long as it takes to drink a cuppa – and expect to make it yourself too!

July 26, 2018
My Second Trimester Is Over

The Second Trimester of my second pregnancy is done! The second trimester is usually around 13 to 28 weeks of pregnancy or, months four, five and six. I am now, almost, 29 weeks pregnant and that means we are welcoming or waddling into the third trimester after a relatively easy pregnancy so far. I’ve now had my first Doula antenatal appointment as well as met with my consultant and had my 28 week midwife check.

How Did I Find the Second Trimester?

The second trimester has been really pretty normal to be honest. We’ve had plenty of scans and did a little gender reveal after our anomoly scan at 20 weeks. All my tests have come back normal, my energy levels have been a bit up and down. I have talked about how I’ve had a bit of suffering with my mental health but having open conversations with loved ones really improved that for me and I was soon back on track. I’ve been sleeping relatively well too which is great. I haven’t felt much discomfort apart from a few bits of sciatica and a few kicks to the bladder from baby which has been so lovely. Mostly I feel pretty good and confident I am making the right choices when it comes to the birth. I’m actually pretty excited about the birth although I’m sure that will change in the next few weeks. We have decided not to book in with any Antenatal classes as I’m getting all the information I need from my Doula and have booked hypnobirthing classes in July and August instead. I’ve also read a lot of books and feel like I know so much more about what my body is capable of. I have a lot more faith in myself and my body this pregnancy.

How Am I Looking at the end of the Second Trimester?

How Am I Feeling at the end of the Second Trimester?

Our scan at 21 weeks showed we are having a baby boy and this did come with a bit of gender anxiety but actually I’m really excited to have a son and can’t wait to meet him.
I am, like most mothers would be, anxious about this last stage of pregnancy. Birth is getting closer and I am adamant to have as positive birth as I possibly can. I have already written up a birth plan with thanks to my Doula and I’ve talked it through with my midwife and consultant.
I am still a little anxious about adjusting to life as a family of four especially with Adam due to start University around our due date in the Autumn.

Weight Gain in Second Trimester?

Weight at start of the year: 120kg
Weight at Booking in: 120kg
Weight at 25 Weeks: 123kg
Weight at 28 Weeks: 125.5kg

Total Weight gain so far: 5.5kg – apparently for someone of my BMI I should try and keep my weight gain under 11kg and as I’ve got to the third trimester with pretty minimal weight gain, I’m really happy with this. I’m confident any extra weight will mostly be baby, uterus and water weight.

Any Concerns?

Not really. I am pretty confident I am going to get the positive VBAC birth I want and I feel really prepared. I have thought about all the other options and what having a c-section would mean, obviously I do not want to have that type of surgery again but in an emergency situation I know what to expect and how I can help myself.

Any Symptoms?

Not really. I still have some nasal congestion but I’m no longer continuously gagging. I don’t feel any sickness. I’m still sleeping okay which is absolutely amazing. I’m actually finding I’ve been able to stay awake in the evenings until about 11pm and getting up around 6am. Most of the times it’s all the way through too which is very nice. I’m trying to keep up with drinking plenty of water and eating as well as I can but there are times I am finding myself so hungry. I also find I fill up quite quickly and I suppose that is where baby is pushing against everything now. I’m not really in any pain or have many aches and the sciatica hasn’t really returned. Some positions I’m finding uncomfortable when sitting and my centre of gravity has absolutely changed. The second trimester has been pretty okay though for me and I hope that continues for as long as possible.

What’s Next?

I have two 90 minute hypnobirthing sessions booked in for July and August and I’m going to be continuing with reading Mindful Hypnobirthing and using the recommended relaxation tracks. I am hoping to continue Aquafit for as long as possible. There is more midwife appointments to come and I want to get my hospital bag packed and ready. We want to get the Chicco Next 2 Me Crib and Pram purchased in August too so that’s high on our list of priorities. I’m looking forward to my next antenatal with my Doula where we are going to go a bit more in depth with birth affirmations and how I visualise my birth space to make sure oxytocin is flowing through labour. I have a growth scan coming up too which will be a nice chance to see baby again although I have to admit I don’t really care too much about his predicted weight. It wasn’t very accurate when I had Evie.

What Has Helped This Pregnancy

Here are a few products that I’ve loved using this pregnancy and might help you too.

Pregnancy Pillow

Affiliate Link: https://amzn.to/2LJyGCy

Mindful Hypnobirthing Book

Affiliate Link: https://amzn.to/2Misy5b

Lavender Essential oil

Affiliate Link: https://amzn.to/2yd1PUT

For more pregnancy content please head to my hub post which contains links to all my relevant pregnancy based blog posts. My second High Bmi Pregnancy.

July 5, 2018
Pamper Tips for Pregnant Women

I want a spa weekend! Pregnancy can leave us feeling really drained, tired and a little bit unloved. When you’ve been dealing with months of fatigue, hormones and all your bones and ligaments stretching you deserve a chance to be pampered. I’m currently six months pregnant and I think now is the perfect time for some pampering. I’d love to get away for the weekend on a spa break, there are some brand new London Spa offers on Groupon right now which I am eyeing up! However, as we can’t get away to a spa every weekend there are a few things you can do at home to relax you and make those last few months of pregnancy a little easier, particularly if, like me, you’re heavily pregnant over the summer months!

Create A Spa Bathroom

Do your bathroom up to give it a spa like quality feel. I love having a soak in the bath and even better if it’s empty of clutter, smells like a spa and automatically invites you in. Partner that with a cup of green tea and I know I’ll have a great night sleep that night. You could add in some of your favourite, relaxing essential oils in a diffuser and a few tealights around the room so that you can completely relax in the bath. I love natural and fresh face masks which can help if your skin is affected during pregnancy as hormones often affect our natural oils. Anything to prevent hormonal spots or stop my skin from drying out to much works for me and using natural or fresh face masks I know that the products are going to be safe for my skin during pregnancy. Another great thing to use for those aching muscles or a sore lower back is Epsom salts. They really make bath water feel spa quality and help to relax you. I love using Epsom salts in the bath before bed especially with lavender oil in a burner, it really helps me relax and as a result I have a nice, gentle night sleep – something that is getting harder the futher along in this pregnancy I get!

Have A Spa Retreat Babymoon

If you can get away for a night or two with your partner a relaxing pre-natal or pregnancy package spa retreat could be an ideal way to relax before your new addition makes their appearance. Some hotels offer specific mum to be packages depending on which trimester you’re in so it’s worth having a look to see what’s available. There are some pregnancy massages that can really help you to relax. If the spa does not offer anything pregnancy specific they should be able to talk you through which treatments are suitable for pregnant women. If you’re staying the night a dip in the pool can be very calming and enjoyable, with the feeling of weightlessness, to help relieve the joints. There isn’t much you need to avoid really at the Spa but steam rooms, hot tubs and saunas aren’t suitable. Still, there will be lots on offer suitable for pregnant women and a Spa is just a lovely way to get away from it all, fully relax and get yourself rested before your new arrival.

How would you like to be pampered in pregnancy?

This is a collaborative post

June 19, 2018
Books You Need to Read when Pregnant
Contains Affiliate Links.

Things have changed since I was last pregnant. There are new practices, screening tests, appointments, things to talk about and all sorts. Having a seven-year gap between pregnancies has been a real eye opener for just how much the medical world has changed. A few other wonderful things that have happened in the last few years is I have changed. I have grown as a person because I’m a mother. I have started to see things differently. I have had more confidence in my opinions, my actions and more reason to justify why I do the things I do. One thing I didn’t even know I had was certain rights about what happens when I’m pregnant.

You see I’m another high risk pregnant woman with a BMI of 45 at booking and having had a previous c-section. My blood pressure is fine, my iron levels are amazing, my platelets and white blood cells are where they need to be and I have no other serious illnesses. I’m simply fat and have an old surgical wound. This has lead to me making a few decisions I didn’t really need to or know about with my first pregnancy. The first being that I really want to try for a VBAC – that is, vaginal birth after caesarean. My midwife is supportive of this which is brilliant. I haven’t met with a consultant yet, I will, but now I know that actually I don’t have to take their advice has given me a new found confidence. Now, before anyone jumps the gun, no I’m not purposely ignoring any advice at the risk of myself or my baby but I am going to alter that advice to suit my needs, my labour and my birth.

You see, when you’re pregnant, part of your body doesn’t really feel like yours. You sort of scare medical professionals a bit and so some doctors can use a lot of terminology to make you feel like you don’t have a choice. Well, you absolutely have a choice. You always have a choice. Always. I’m not going to tell anyone how they should or should not give birth. What I’m saying is every decision you make should be an informed one and sometimes, just hearing what a doctor has to say does not make you informed. You see, midwives and doctors have to say a lot of things to make you aware of potential risks. That’s a good thing, you need to know about these risks but ultimately, you can decide what you feel is best for your body, your pregnancy, your baby and the welfare of your family. I’ve been doing a little extra reading this time around and I really do feel fully informed about all the choices I plan to make, any screenings I plan to reject and I know, with the help of my very lovely Doula, I am going to have a concise birth plan that will suit my needs and cater to every possible birthing outcome or obstacle.

Here is my list of extra reading that I absolutely recommend you take a look at when pregnant:
1. 1. AIMS: For a better birth website – full of amazing, useful information. This organisation covers everything you could possibly want to know about birth. Questions are answered and they campaign tirelessly for better maternity services in the UK. This is the best place to start if you have to make some decisions, if you have questions or doubts. The birth information covers frequently asked questions, home birth and maternity rights and benefits.
  2. Am I Allowed? By AIMS – A brilliant, informative read helping you to make all the decisions you feel you need to make for your pregnancy, labour and birth from screening tests, scans, blood tests and birth choices.
  3. Birth After Caesarean – By Jenny Lesley – Something very relevant to me. Again, this is free if you have Kindle unlimited and is also available to buy as a hard copy.
  4. Mindful Hypnobirthing by Sophie Fletcher – You might or might not have an interest in hypnobirthing but studies have shown some really positive things about how hypnobirthing and mindfullness techniques really help during pregnancy, labour and birth. This book is full of useful exercises that you can start from early pregnancy and continue all the way through with the hope of giving you a relaxed, calm and peaceful birth experience.
  5. Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill – another great read full of information and again focusing on birth as a positive experience.
  6. Men, Love & Birth by Mark Harris – one for dads but I’ve had a little sneak read myself too. This is written by a dad and male midwife and is really insightful into the dad’s role. Mark is also trained in NLP which does come into play in this book. I got this for Adam to have a read through and it seems to be all about how to support a partner through pregnancy, labour, birth and those early days.
I hope you find this reading educational, informative and overall helps you to make any decisions to enable you to have a happy, positive birth.

For more pregnancy content please head to my hub post which contains links to all my relevant pregnancy based blog posts. My second High Bmi Pregnancy.
April 5, 2018