The latest in how we all hate fat people (I am a fat person) is a medievil magnetic structure to prevent your mouth opening more than like 2mm – here’s the Guardian article and back to school weigh ins in September. It’s all a load of absolute bullshit. 2mm? Is that some sort of liquid diet from now on then? The issue isn’t a complete lack of control about shoving food in all day long it’s all complex and has so many varients that will cost money to fix but we have a hoarding, greedy government that only want short term solutions. They don’t care about your issues or problems or disorders or poverty that cause many people problems when it comes to food so instead they are, yet again, going to shame fat people, parents of children being weighed and compared to a BMI scale thats outdated.
My Issue With School Weigh Ins
My daughter is going through her hormone things. I mean it’s a battle to get her to eat fruit and vegetables but she does. She has a relatively healthy diet despite changing her mind what she will eat on a bi-weekly basis. She has a healthy portion, she has a school dinner and she’s tried a variety of foods. She has some issues but I try really hard to make all kinds of food accessible to her. Now she’s getting closer and closer to her teens she’s had another massive growth spurt, she’s filling out in a perfectly healthy way and that means she has some fat to her body. Finding clothes to fit her has started to become a problem and she mostly has to buy things aged 12-14 depending on where we shop. Things don’t fit her well in the length and of course in every shop sizing is different. We tried her in ‘adult’ sizes and she was a size six to eight. Perfectly healthy for a growing preteen body that is filling out and getting taller.
If I am told in September that she is ‘at risk’ of being overweight or obese I will scream. I am genuinely worried about what it will do to her self confidence. I really try to be size inclusive, talk positively and I don’t comment on her body. I try not to restrict food in an unhealthy way and as a result my daughter doesn’t binge the way I do. I could absolutely do better but I could also do worse. I want to promote a healthy, varied relationship with food and joyous movement. I want to promote a positive body attitude and reiterate that fat is a normal, healthy part of your body growing and changing. I don’t want my daughter to get caught out thinking a size 12, 14 or 16 is unhealthy like I did and as a result have binge eating, disordered eating and a terrible relationship with my body and food.
I worry that school weigh ins will shame parents that are from poorer backgrounds especially like I was because there is a huge link between poverty and obesity but why would the Tories want to fix that? They hate the poor!
Things that SHOULD happen instead of shaming parents, school weigh ins and mouth torture devices
Allow children to see all different body shapes and sizes moving, happy, living their best lives and existing.
Allow children to see all different body shapes and sizes exercising. That kind of has to start with me really, the fat woman doing yoga and lifting weights and swimming like I used to.
Teach children proper nutrition and how to cook from scratch not just cake baking. Change the curriculum to include making sauces, trying lots of different fruit and vegetables, meal planning for a family and finding new favourite flavours.
Stop labelling food as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ choices because that develops into guilt and shame. Food is food.
Talk about eating disorders and the problems they cause and where they can come from. It’s not just binge and purge.
Talk about emotional eating and finding nourishment. When we figure out the craving or emotion we can turn to something else rather than food.
Stop talking about taking things out of meals but instead what we can put in? What will give us more nourishment, more nutrition, more colour to our plates?
Stop promoting slimming clubs outside schools. Children don’t need to diet and they don’t need to see those kind of advertisements reminding them that they’re not good enough, not skinny enough, not slim enough and not someone they’ve never mets ideal beauty standard. Actively be anti-diet
Offer therapy for eating disorder patients including the fat ones. Believe fat people when they say they have a problem with food or an eating disorder.
Offer children a variety of sports at school so they can find something they enjoy. Give them choice. Stop making them play endless games (I’m looking at you, Rounders) that they hate playing.
Teach children that another person’s body has nothing to do with them, to be kind as bodies around them change and grow.
Make healthy food choices more appealing and accessible. Stop shops discounting processed food which is affordable and instead focus on things like fruit and vegetable boxes.
Ultimately it’s a lot of work from parents and what teachers have to teach. It’s changing the attitude. It’s stopping using an out dated system to measure health. It’s getting to the root cause of the issue – why does this problem have an issue with food? How can we help them overcome this issue? This is a mental health problem just as much, if not more, than it is a physical one. If loosing weight was just as simple as not opening your mouth then we would all be thin all the time. It’s also important to remember thiness does not autimatically equal health, just as fatness does not automatically equal lack of self control.
About two months ago Adam and I began discussing paying for Felix, who is now 2 and a half, to do a couple of sessions at nursery. It’s been a really tough year for so many people and for so many different reasons. I’ve had my fair share of parenting tough situations but parenting a toddler through a pandemic really has made me worry about my son. I hate the thought of him growing up in a world where all he’s been told is not to go near or play with other people’s children in the park, at the beach…I’ve been too scared to look into toddler groups because I just can’t bear the thought of wearing a mask inside a hot, stuffy, soft play centre where I can’t wear my glasses. The best option for Felix to make some friends, play and be in a safe environment was preschool.
He didn’t get off to a great start. Evie came home from school with a cold and that passed on to Felix who developed a nasty case of tonsilitis (that I am currently suffering with, thank you son). It meant his first booked sessions were a no-show because he just wasn’t well enough to attend. However, whilst his cough is lingering (no covid, thankfully!) he is much better and has now attended for two weeks. He only attends two afternoon sessions a week and as he’s under two and we don’t get full benefits we are paying for these sessions. It’s probably come at a cost of our rediculous food shopping and takeaway bill though and we could do with getting that back under control if I’m honest.
Felix has really changed from baby to toddler in the last year. He’s growing up so quickly.
I wasn’t sure how he would react with preschool as we couldn’t do any proper settling in sessions. Instead, when we were signing the paperwork the staff very kindly took him through to show him the outside play area and he was happy enough with the other children and nursery staff. Since then he’s gone straight in with no problems and actually has been upset when he’s been told it’s time to come home. When it came to choosing the preschool we went with a friends recommendation after looking on a few websites and seeing the eyewatering costs for some settings. The place we choose was much more reasonable in terms of price and affordable for us thankfully. We liked the sound of it with the addition of a forest school setting when he’s in the bigger classes too which I think he will love.
We don’t really have any aims for preschool, nor do we have any concerns bar the fact that we want him to make friends and have a chance to play outside. I’ve talked about not having a garden so many times on this blog and it’s still frustrating and has been even more so in the last year being stuck inside. So now he’s enrolled and going in two afternoon sessions a week to play, make friends and get some much needed outside time. He’s had such a fun time the last few sessions, has run in with the staff and had a great time. When we get there he wants to rush straight in although there’s a whole thing with lines and waiting.
I’m really happy with our decision, one of the only things thats frustrating is there is no real handover or chance to discuss issues which I find hard as I don’t really know what he’s been doing. It’s very much a drop and go situation as parents aren’t allowed in and I appreciate they have to follow the rules but I’d like to know more about what he’s getting up to and if he’s making friends with the other children. It has, however, only been a few sessions so he’s got plenty of time to make friends and play. We also have all those super cute moments to look forward to with him bringing stuff home. He brought home his first painting the other day which was just adorable.
I think this change will be really good for him and I’m so proud that he’s taken it so well.
Do I have ADHD? I am currently on the waiting list for an assessment and seeking an ADHD diagnosis from the mental health and psychiatry team. Although it never occured to me before until I recently read a post by my blogger friend Louise who started sharing her diagnosis with ADHD, or ADD for some people. I’ve always thought I was “not like normal people” and a bit of a weirdo. I’ve always thought I had some form of neurodivergence and I’ve long suspected my eldest as having ADHD (and getting no help with that…) but it suddenly seemed to click that perhaps the reason I suspect my daughter has ADHD is because I, may, infact, also have it. Not only am I now seeking a diagnosis for ADHD but I’m also seeking mental health support for binge eating disorder, anxiety, and obsessive compulsive disorder (undiagnosed, currently). I believe I may also be autistic as there are a lot of cross overs and similar behaviours between Autism and ADHD and so I have been referred to the ADHD and Autism team for the area I live in. It’s a very long waiting list with an average of about two years, which is very frustrating, but at least I am trying to seek support now.
What is Attention Defecit Hyperactive Disorder?
It’s a condition that affects the way people act and behave. It can affect any person and is *usually* diagnosed in children. However, it is becoming very obvious that ADHD can present itself differently in some people, usually women and girls (as well as gender non-conforming and trans people) and this can be why many people go undiagnosed as children and seek assesment and diagnosis as adults. It can present as hyperactive and impulsive ADHD, inattentive ADHD or a combination of both.
What causes ADHD?
According to the NHS ADHD does not have a known cause but it is thought to run in families (be hereditary, which is probably why many parents who have children with a diagnosis regocnise the condition in themselves through the assesment process). Some causes can be low birth weight, prematurity and drinking/smoking during pregnancy. However, I think there is a lot more to learn about the condition, especially with how it can present vastly different in some people.
I think I have ADHD; what now? Getting help with an ADHD diagnosis
If you think you might have ADHD the next step is to get in touch with your doctor, health team and/or GP. You can also pay privately for an ADHD assesment. Some areas of the UK can benefit from the NHS Right to Choose from Psychiatry UK which offer Adult ADHD assessment and diagnosis. Clinical Partners have a (non diagnostic) test which can indicate if a conversation with your doctor about ADHD might be beneficial to you. This test can not tell you if you have ADHD or not because you need to have a psychiatric assessment to diagnose but it can help you to understand a little more about your personal neruodivergence and where to get started with seeking a formal diagnosis.
What are the common symptoms of ADHD in adults?
Some signs of ADHD behaviour include being unable to sit still and general restlessness, constantly fidgeting, being unable to concentrate, excessive physical movement, unable to wait your turn, acting without thinking and interupting conversations. However, there are also inattentive signs of ADHD which include missing details and easily distracted, trouble focusing on the task at hand, becoming bored quickly, difficulty learning new information, easily confused and frequent daydreaming.
My personal experience and why I want an assessment for an ADHD diagnosis
One thing I struggle with is a lot of these issues make me feel like I’m an ignorant and immature child but I’m a thirty-something year old mother. I struggle with most of the above things which makes day to day life quite challenging. I feel like my brain never really ‘grew up’ despite it did because I have tried to find ways of coping with many of the above to live a fufilling adult life but this is what makes me want to seek a diagnosis because I feel like I’m childish and immature yet it could be that my brain is just different.
I wasn’t a hyperactive child in the stereotypical sense of bouncing of the walls so speaking to my family about a potentiality of having ADHD has come as a bit of a surprise to them. I was a ‘good’ academic school child, I didn’t really get bad reports and I wasn’t particularly disruptive to other students. This stereotypical outlook of a child being disruptive and hyperactive all the time is not the be all and end all. Attention Deficit Disorder is a far broader way of looking at all of the issues that come with this type of neurodivergence. For some children and adults its the lack of focus, the daydreaming, the quiet, introverted behaviour thanks to being chronically overwhelmed with life that doesn’t outright signify the fact that there might be an issue. Hyperactivity displays itself in many, many different ways with ADD. In fact, AD(H)D is sometimes written with the H in brackets to signify that hyperactivity itself is not the one factor that makes people have this type of neurodivergence.
I have potentially been living undiagnosed with this for a very long time and I have been through the works trying to figure this out for myself. Many adults are happy to self-diagnose with AD(H)D as they feel they have the right coping mechanisms in place for their individual neurodivergence. They notice and acknowledge particular behaviours and will happily carry on their lives in that way. Some people want support in forms of therapies as ADHD can come with a multitude of other issues such as mood swings, depression, anxiety, compulsion tendancies and issues with food. Support in these areas can sometimes help those with ADHD. In other cases, such as for myself, I am actively seeking a diagnosis because I am struggling with many areas of my life, I have never really been able to ‘solve’ what is wrong with me and I want to feel validated. I want help and I am open to discussing being medicated if that is something that will help me.
I know talking about our mental health can be a little intimidating but it’s important. We seek and crave other people that migth feel the same so we can try and put our own feelings into perspective.
I am going to continue writing about what I learn as time goes on but here is what lead me to ask my GP for an ADHD referral
I am currently seeking help with binge eating disorder which can sometimes be linked to ADHD due to compulsive behaviours. I also have emetophobia (fear of vomit) which can cause panic attacks and why I know I have binge eating issues.
I am always losing things. Keys, Phone, Purse, Bag are the top four but things just get misplaced all the time. I never remember where my ‘safe place’ is.
I’m very messy because if I can’t see a thing then it doesn’t exist. I need to be able to see things to know I need to do them. Visual queues are my friend. However if often leads to ‘Oh I forgot I had this’ moments of nostalgia when looking for the things.
I have lived with anxiety all my life and I would like to understand this more
I have an issue making simple decisions every day of my life such as what to cook
I struggle putting a routine in place in my day to day life
I have struggled holding down a job – thank you self employment
I have a lot of hobbies, courses and projects I have started and want to finish but lack the motivation to do so
I struggle with life admin, the boring side of my work and motivating myself to do things I want/need to do
I feel like I am lazy because I struggle to get up and get things done unless I am in the mood
I have trouble staying asleep through the night
I hyperfocus on things and often find myself only being able to talk about that thing
I constantly reread books, listen to the same songs, rewatch tv shows for sensory comfort
I have sensory issues such as not being able to eat certain foods, feel certain textures on certain body parts, and struggle touching certain materials with wet or just washed hands
I struggle with intrusive thoughts, skin picking and hair pulling compulsions
I often spend money when I am in a low mood for a pick me up. Thankfully I haven’t turned to substance abuse as I don’t smoke, rarely drink and have never taken any form of drug but that is something that can happen
I spend more time organising and planning things than actually doing them. I plan and then I get so overwhelmed that I don’t actually follow through and then I feel guilty.
I worry that my issue isn’t neurodivergence but in fact laziness and that again makes me feel shame and guilt
I get overwhelmed with the amount of things I feel I need to get done
I don’t ever feel like I’m living up to my full potential because I’m always procrastinating
I use forms of escapism such as reading and video games to avoid life overwhelm. However, I recently started a book blog and now I feel overwhelmed by my reading list and have not been able to read much because I am trying to escape the overwhelm and it turns into a vicious circle of constant overwhelm and guilt.
When I have a ‘hyperactive’ stage it usually hits me and I feel like I have to get things done – this is kind of like my superpower because when I *feel like I can* and the urge to do comes in I hyperfocus and I am so productive. If I could like zone in on this part of my brain for like six hours a day my life would be so much easier (at least I hope it would anyway)
I struggle waiting my turn – I often interupt people or finish their sentence, I struggle waiting in lines and get restless, I struggle with wait times on video games, waiting for anticipated books to release. This can make me agitated and come across as rude, and sometimes, a bit aggressive.
I have to compete with myself or make up challenges to help me with ‘waiting’ or ‘boring’ tasks. For example, I will see how much washing up I can get done before the kettle has finished boiling. This usually means because I am focusing on ‘competing’ things like washing up aren’t done very well as I’m not thinking about doing a task well, but trying to get it over and done with as quickly as possible.
Basically I struggle with most day to day things and can’t keep a routine in place but equally I hate spontaneous living and like to have a concise plan. I can organise and plan effectively but I really struggle to follow through with simple tasks which has made being a mum, work at home parent, trying to keep our space clean and tidy really tough. We have a lot of clutter, there’s no cleaning routine in place which makes things really stressful. I’m very much a hoarder which means living in a small space feels very overwhelming but I also feel like I can’t get rid of things because I paid money for them. My life is a constant cycle of hyperfocus – overwhelm – procrastination – guilt/shame and then back to hyperfocus again. The issue is that the time between procrastination and hyperfocus is so varied depending on other life stresses. I can have weeks of super productive energy where I’m working and the house looks okay and I’m paying off debt to then months of “falling of the wagon” and essentially feeling like I’m in an even worse place than when I started.
I am hoping an ADHD diagnosis will help me feel a bit more validated, help me establish and stick to a routine of work, exercise, household duties and hobbies. I have joined a group of other adults that have ADHD to try and help me put coping mechanisms in place right now whilst I wait for the assessment and I’m doing my best to try and figure out my own neurodivergent brain and how I can make the most of it. On the plus side I have lots of interests and hobbies, I have lots of ways to spend my time and things I want to do. I’m an ambitious person but struggle to keep myself motivated and I’m hoping I’ll be able to learn ways to use my hyperfocus time to the best of my abilitity.
Ad – (gifted product) I received a Beverly Hills Formula Bronze and Brighten gift set in exchange for this blog post. All thoughts and opinions are my own. If you fancy seeing a little unboxing video of the gift set I’ve uploaded it to TikTok – You can find me at @awitchisreading on there! You can purchase your own Bronze and Brighten Gift set here.
I love how this little set has been put together. I’m trying to do a bit of a post lockdown “glow up” and what says glow up better than a nice, even tan and whiter teeth. I’m going to share my full glow up post next week with the sort of things I’m going to try and do to come out of lockdown feeling a bit better about myself and set some new routines in place. Self care will be playing a big part in that and I am all for trying things that make me look and feel a little better. The bronze and brighten gift set is a perfect set to get ready for summer. I haven’t had a chance to start using this just yet so I’ll update the post a little later in the month with my thoughts and any results.
The set includes: A Professional 2 in 1 whitening kit which is a whitening pen and a series of whitening strips to put on the top and lower teeth Advanced silver whitening toothpaste 5008 filament toothbrush A trio of whitening toothpaste samples Self tan mousse, eraser glove and duo application tanning glove
I wont pretend to be an expert when it comes to self tanning but I do enjoy giving my skin a bit of a summer glow. Not having a garden means I can’t really get out and sunbathe and my poor legs are never the same colour as my arms when the suns out. I’m all for giving myself a little bit of even colour all over before our holiday in July. I am however keen to try the whitening tooth paste strips and see if they give me a brighter smile. Alongside this lovely set I have my hair cut appointment booked in and I’m going for a complete restyle. I’m looking forward to a bit of pampering this month really as it’s been absolutely ages. I might even book myself an appointment to get my eyebrows waxed and gel nails applied before our break away. Honestly, I know to some if feels a bit superficial but it really makes a difference.
Ad – This is a paid post in collaboration with Klarify.
It seems everyone, right now, is getting ready for summer. For lots of us this is improving our movement, our skincare routines and maybe even shopping for a new wardrobe; a summer ‘glow up’ which feels especially important to many of us as we’ve been stuck inside for the last year. It’s been tough going hasn’t it? Many people might have noticed things about themselves, or paid more attention to their bodies needs and wants over the last year. Things they might have been putting down to stress or haven’t had the time to look into may have become more promenient. I’ve had some personal challenges myself that have made me question how I handle certain situations and have been keeping a check in on my mental health. I kind of feel like I’ve sort of had life on hold – on pause – recently and I need to get some structure back to my life, take more time for self care and just generally look after myself a bit more.
As well as all those lovely things that make us feel good about ourselves I want to talk about including allergy testing as it can be a way to improve your day to day life, not just this summer, but every season. Klarify’s allergy testing blog goes into lots of detail about how many people in the UK live with allergies and how an at home test might help. I’m quite lucky that I don’t suffer too much when it comes to allergies. I get maybe the occassional bout of Hayfever in the Spring and I did have a nasty reaction to suncreen a view years ago. Whilst I haven’t tried a home allergy test – as I just changed to a hypoallergenic brand of sunscreen – a home test would be really interesting and could help when it comes to planning things and buying certain products I know my body will appreciate.
Reading through the blog post above I was surprised to find 1 in 4 people in the uk suffer with a form of allergy however, they’re not always diagnosed by a doctor. This could be for many reasons, perhaps a person hasn’t been exposed to an allergen before or they don’t feel they ‘suffer’ for long enough with seasonal allergies to make them need a doctors appointment. There are, however, some allergies that are incredibly serious and require immeadiate medical attention – if you are worried about a particular allergy, seeking medical advice should always come first. Common allergies include things like hayfever, caused by various pollens, and pet hair. I think if you are considering a pet but you may have reacted to a friend or family members pet in the past knowing if you’re allergic could be really helpful and an at home test can confirm that for you.
If, symptoms are quite mild or occassional then a home allergy test might be really beneficial to find out exactly what kind of allergy you have and how to prevent symptoms – particularly if they are seasonal. Klarify offer a quick and simple home allergy test kit which is done in the comfort of your own home and then sent off for analysis in a lab. It is something I would consider as I occasionally get seasonal allergies, like hayfever, but I’m not sure what type of pollen affects me. It would be really handy to know so that I could be a little more prepared each season, have a little more information to prevent symptoms and have solutions such as anti-allergy medication at home just in case I need it.
The allergy test is simple to administer and recommends around 30 minutes of down time to get everything done and packaged back up again. The website has a clear guide on how to administer the test at home. The test does require the use of a lancing device on a clean finger as it requires a small blood sample in order to analyse allergens. You then send your sample off and activate your test online. There are full instructions for this too. The at home test comes with a code for you to use when you sign in. The test takes approixmately two weeks for results to be uploaded.You then get a detailed personalised report with the findings.
Waiting lists for allergy testing can be quite lengthy which is what draws people into private testing. Whilst changes and treatment should be at the advice of a health professional or specialist an at home allergen testing kit can help speed up the process if you have concerns.The Klairfy at home allergy test can test for things like different types of pollen, pets, food, yeasts and moulds as well as a selection of other allergens. It can help you to have an open discussion with your GP or other medical professional if you find these kind of things are affecting you and they will be able to guide you on the best recommendations, advice and treatments. When it comes to food it is not advisable to change your diet, or remove complete food groups from your diet, without a medical practioners advice however a private at home allergy test can certainly help confirm particular allergens. The klarify at home kit can not detect food intolerances and that is a discussion to have with your GP or health practitioner.
