Candyfloss & Dreams

Author: Kat Candyfloss

Books You Need to Read when Pregnant
Contains Affiliate Links.

Things have changed since I was last pregnant. There are new practices, screening tests, appointments, things to talk about and all sorts. Having a seven-year gap between pregnancies has been a real eye opener for just how much the medical world has changed. A few other wonderful things that have happened in the last few years is I have changed. I have grown as a person because I’m a mother. I have started to see things differently. I have had more confidence in my opinions, my actions and more reason to justify why I do the things I do. One thing I didn’t even know I had was certain rights about what happens when I’m pregnant.

You see I’m another high risk pregnant woman with a BMI of 45 at booking and having had a previous c-section. My blood pressure is fine, my iron levels are amazing, my platelets and white blood cells are where they need to be and I have no other serious illnesses. I’m simply fat and have an old surgical wound. This has lead to me making a few decisions I didn’t really need to or know about with my first pregnancy. The first being that I really want to try for a VBAC – that is, vaginal birth after caesarean. My midwife is supportive of this which is brilliant. I haven’t met with a consultant yet, I will, but now I know that actually I don’t have to take their advice has given me a new found confidence. Now, before anyone jumps the gun, no I’m not purposely ignoring any advice at the risk of myself or my baby but I am going to alter that advice to suit my needs, my labour and my birth.

You see, when you’re pregnant, part of your body doesn’t really feel like yours. You sort of scare medical professionals a bit and so some doctors can use a lot of terminology to make you feel like you don’t have a choice. Well, you absolutely have a choice. You always have a choice. Always. I’m not going to tell anyone how they should or should not give birth. What I’m saying is every decision you make should be an informed one and sometimes, just hearing what a doctor has to say does not make you informed. You see, midwives and doctors have to say a lot of things to make you aware of potential risks. That’s a good thing, you need to know about these risks but ultimately, you can decide what you feel is best for your body, your pregnancy, your baby and the welfare of your family. I’ve been doing a little extra reading this time around and I really do feel fully informed about all the choices I plan to make, any screenings I plan to reject and I know, with the help of my very lovely Doula, I am going to have a concise birth plan that will suit my needs and cater to every possible birthing outcome or obstacle.

Here is my list of extra reading that I absolutely recommend you take a look at when pregnant:
1. 1. AIMS: For a better birth website – full of amazing, useful information. This organisation covers everything you could possibly want to know about birth. Questions are answered and they campaign tirelessly for better maternity services in the UK. This is the best place to start if you have to make some decisions, if you have questions or doubts. The birth information covers frequently asked questions, home birth and maternity rights and benefits.
  2. Am I Allowed? By AIMS – A brilliant, informative read helping you to make all the decisions you feel you need to make for your pregnancy, labour and birth from screening tests, scans, blood tests and birth choices.
  3. Birth After Caesarean – By Jenny Lesley – Something very relevant to me. Again, this is free if you have Kindle unlimited and is also available to buy as a hard copy.
  4. Mindful Hypnobirthing by Sophie Fletcher – You might or might not have an interest in hypnobirthing but studies have shown some really positive things about how hypnobirthing and mindfullness techniques really help during pregnancy, labour and birth. This book is full of useful exercises that you can start from early pregnancy and continue all the way through with the hope of giving you a relaxed, calm and peaceful birth experience.
  5. Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill – another great read full of information and again focusing on birth as a positive experience.
  6. Men, Love & Birth by Mark Harris – one for dads but I’ve had a little sneak read myself too. This is written by a dad and male midwife and is really insightful into the dad’s role. Mark is also trained in NLP which does come into play in this book. I got this for Adam to have a read through and it seems to be all about how to support a partner through pregnancy, labour, birth and those early days.
I hope you find this reading educational, informative and overall helps you to make any decisions to enable you to have a happy, positive birth.

For more pregnancy content please head to my hub post which contains links to all my relevant pregnancy based blog posts. My second High Bmi Pregnancy.
April 5, 2018
What We Did In March

March: The Month of Snow

To be honest, we didn’t do a lot, because of the snow. There were school closures, late openings, college closures for Adam…I won’t risk going out in the snow for fear of falling over and being pregnant I’m just really cautious of anything doing me a bit of harm. The month has been long although it feels like we’ve sped towards the two week Easter break. I always like this two week break between the Spring and Summer terms because its a nice bit of rest. I never really know what to do with them though other than turn the alarm off. We aren’t really ones for celebrating Easter to be honest, it’s just a day where the shops are closed. I don’t cook a big meal, I buy Evie one Easter egg and rather than do a fun hunt around the flat I just give it to her with the ones she’s got from family. I might get her a magazine because nothing will be open and it’s always really boring. On the plus side, Adam always has the Sunday before a bank holiday off so we can make use of our time together which is always nice. Even with Easter Sunday falling on April Fool’s Day I still can’t really be bothered with it all.

Our Easter Break started on the Thursday before Good Friday so we still have the whole two weeks to make the most of. Evie will be with her dad for half of the time so we are planning a visit to the Hawk Trust with Adam’s mum. We always enjoy going there, hopefully the rain will hold off although there is always a risk of April showers…Adam is also off from college for two weeks and plans to spend his free time getting his personal project together which is his big assignment to finish his Access course. I can’t believe he’s nearly finished the whirlwind year of college! He’s got his student finance letter back and accepted the offer from his first choice University so all being well and he passes the course it will be the start of a three year degree in September. I’m so proud of him. He’s had a real mix of passes, merits and distinctions throughout his exams and assignments so far so I am confident he will have enough UCAS points. The good thing about doing an Access course is you don’t have to wait until August to find out your final marks which means he is able to keep track.

Evie is, kind of unknowing to her, doing her Year 2 SATS next month. We haven’t talked about it and we won’t be revising for them. We hardly do the homework as it is because we just don’t have the time for it although I do want to get in more of a routine of fitting it all in. Sometimes it really shocks me with how much homework, spelling and reading she comes home with. What makes it more frustrating is she can never remember doing it at school and I never know how to explain some of the stuff so all it does it cause arguments, tears and frustration from all parties involved. I’m not really worried though, she’s seven, and both Adam and I know school isn’t everything. Especially when I came out with decent grades without doing any revision and Adam still has the opportunity to go on to University because of an Access course. Let kids be kids, let them play and be creative rather than focus on stupid tests and statistics. I watched someone recently explain that throughout school kids are basically taught short term memory tests and if you’re not very skilled in that area, school isn’t going to do you very well. Being out in the real world now I’ve learned so much more than I ever did at school. Life skills, banking, patience from dealing with customers, how to manage a budget, how to cook, clean and take care of kids, how to write CV’s and how to interview well – none of which I learned in school. Anyway…I digress…

I obviously announced I am pregnant with my second baby and we are well into the second trimester now. I have my 16 week appointment with the midwife coming up and we’ve hired a Doula. I have an obstetrician appointment in June to “look forward to” (I’m not) and our 20 week scan next month. I am so hoping we will find out the gender and the baby is in a good position for the sonographer to see. We’ve booked a holiday back to the Isle of Wight for July which I’m really looking forward to! I will be around 30 weeks pregnant when we go so hopefully still able to get out and about and enjoy our time away. I’ve started Aquafit again too now I’m feeling a little more energetic which I’m really enjoying.

We didn’t see a lot of this beautiful puppy. She’s a massive bear now. We are probably going to be looking after her for a week in September when my parents go on holiday (we were supposed to go but…pregnant) Evie also loved meeting this small dog when my sister came up from Bristol for a couple of hours and came with me to pick her up from school.

April 1, 2018
Baby Christenings: Why I Won’t Be A Part of Them

Do you have any Godchildren? I don’t. I’ve never been asked, which is absolutely fine with me because to be honest it’s just going to be an awkward conversation. Most of my mum friends came after children had been had. I’m not really in touch with many people from school, let alone close enough to be considered a Godparent and those that I am friends with don’t have kids of their own yet. I don’t come from a particularly religious family although I was Christened when I was young. My sister was too. Then my youngest sister came along and she wasn’t as a baby. She did decide to get Christened when she was older because she wanted presents but I don’t think I went. I think I was living away from home at that point. Since then there have been other family Christenings that I haven’t gone to and I decline the invitation on principle. I don’t agree with them.

I always start thinking about things like this around this time of year, with Easter just around the corner. I don’t really know what to do with Easter. I get Evie a chocolate egg but other than that it’s the same as any other Sunday except Adam doesn’t have to work. I don’t cook a big dinner and the fact that shops are closed just means we’re stuck inside and need to makesure we aren’t low on anything the day before. I don’t even really talk that much about the Easter bunny although he seems to be held in high esteem according to Evie. It’s a bit different to Christmas, because I’m all about the presents. I don’t really care if that makes me a bit hypocritical but Christmas has never been about anything that being with family to me. We don’t go to Church, we don’t do Midnight Mass, we don’t thank anyone for dinner except the person that’s cooked it. I’ve watched Evie’s school nativity plays and I’ve been to her Christmas shows at the Church. I’m happy she’s learned about what Christmas was about and what Easter is about but that doesn’t mean it’s all true…

Evie wasn’t Christened, despite her dad’s family being Catholic. I felt a lot of pressure and was asked ‘Why’ quite a lot and had to be really firm in my answer. I do worry that she has been Christened in secret since I left my ex but it’s never a subject I’ve asked and one I don’t really need to find out the answer to. I find them pointless. I know a lot of people do them for traditional reasons, as a way to get family together and all of that but for me, personally, that’s not good enough. When you decide to Christen a baby you are agreeing to bring them up as a Christian, something I am not, although that isn’t why disagree with Christenings. I disagree with them because I see it as making a decision for someone else that really doesn’t affect you in anyway. It’s a lot different when the child comes to you and says “I believe in God, I want to be Christened and I want to learn all about it.” Fine, that is their choice. Although, in all honesty, I don’t think I’d be able to organise that for them. I wouldn’t want to be a part of it because I would feel like a complete fraud.

Maybe this makes me a little selfish, but for the same reasons I won’t ever agree to be a Godparent to someone else’s child. I’m not going to stand there and confirm to bringing up a child in the eyes of a God I don’t believe in. I don’t really want to be a part of it at all. I don’t agree with taking away a choice where faith is such a personal thing. For the same reasons, I won’t be Christening any children I have. I won’t be selecting Godparents for this baby. This has actually caused upset before, and I’m sorry for that, but ultimately, it just goes against everything I believe in. When this baby is here I’m sure we’ll see lots of family and friends in the weeks afterwards and introduce them to our baby. I’m sure we will receive lots of wonderful congratulations and cards. I’m sure everyone will be excited. For me, that’s enough. That’s enough of a celebration for a new life. For me, there’s no need for a Christening, a naming day or any other big celebration like that because to be honest I really can’t be bothered with it all.

March 29, 2018
Bookbeat Audiobooks: Storytime for Adults
I really love reading. There’s a real sense in pleasure at opening up a new book and getting right into a story alongside the feeling of achievement and sadness when it’s finished. Sometimes though, especially with pregnancy, I just don’t have the energy to read much more than a few pages a night. That is where Audiobooks come in nicely for me! For the last year I’ve loved using my Bookbeat subscription which has so many audiobooks and stories to listen to.

There are lots of compelling listens on Bookbeat which is available as a free App on the App store. You simply pay a monthly fee and can listen to as many books as you like. New audiobooks are really easy to find too with different sections and catergories, Sunday Times best sellers and brand new stories available too. I’ve got my eye on a few audiobooks where friends have read them and really recommended them so it’s great to see there are new audiobooks available rather than just titles I’ve not heard of. There are plenty of titles I haven’t read or listened to yet on Bookbeat however it’s been a real pleasure finding new authors whilst using the app. You can find a whole host of categories from young adult, fantasy, autobiography, informative and thrillers. Here are some of my favourites:
1. Game of Thrones – Now, I’ve read all the books and watched the series but I’ve loved having a listen to series audiobooks to see if there are any plot lines I’ve missed out.
2. The Selection – This is a young adult fiction series set way in the future where people are kept segregated. It really shows the divide of the rich and poor. This features the tale of America Singer who is selected as a prospective candidate to marry the Royal Prince. There’s plenty of action with rebel group attacks, romance and a few thrills along the way too.
3. Carve the Mark – a really interesting book and well worth a listen
4. The Hobbit – Another fantasy favourite of mine that brings me right back to my childhood
Those are just a few of my favourite listens that I’ve enjoyed. I usually take advantage of listening to audiobooks in the evening whilst drifting off to sleep. With Bookbeat you usually need a WiFi connection to listen in however you do have the option of downloading some stories too which gives you the ability to listen offline. I find this perfect for anytime I’m travelling or even something to listen to on the walk up to school. Audiobooks are a great way to find new listens, new authors and new stories and it’s something I’ve loved using and would recommend to anyone. I love the flexibility of not having to download the audiobook direct to the device and listening through WiFi as this stops my phone using up too much memory. There are plenty of stories for the whole family too which means we can all find something we like.

You can start a free two-week trial with BookBeat today.
March 27, 2018
My Pregnancy Wishlist
Post contains affiliate links.

Pregnancy and Maternity Wishlist for Plus Size Women

Since finding out I am pregnant I’ve been reluctant to buy anything for this pregnancy or baby but now I’ve had my first scan and we’ve finished the first trimester I finally feel ready and less anxious about the things I know I’m going to need and want during this pregnancy. Having a baby puts a lot of strain on your body and comfort is so important, as well as taking care of yourself. Then there are all the things you need for the baby too. Right now though, whilst I’m growing a human I am going to focus on what I want and what is going to make things easier for me over the next six months.

I do have a small list of first trimester essentials which might help you during those early days with morning sickness and keeping fit and well:
- A bedroom fan to keep cool during the night
- Comfortable PJs and a dressing gown – particularly useful on Snow Days when you can’t leave the house – we had a few of these!
- Peppermint Tea
- Ginger biscuits
- Pregnancy Vitamins with Folic Acid + Vitamin D
- Smoothies – a good way to get in some vitamins and a bit of energy
- A reusable water bottle
<br />

Things I Need for my Pregnancy

I’m passed the first trimester and into the second which, if I remember rightly and if this pregnancy is going to continue being much like my first, was actually a really nice part. I didn’t suffer with many symptoms, my energy was up and the anxiety from the first part was mostly gone. I didn’t really do much research into things I would want for my first pregnancy and with Adam being the dad and everything being new to him as well as there being seven years between this and my first pregnancy, I kind of feel like I get to start again and experience things again properly. My last relationship was not as positive as this one and the in laws took over a bit. I think they felt they were overcompensating for the fact that I was so far from my family, and they did help a lot but it got a bit overbearing and I didn’t really feel like anything was my choice. Anyway, I digress…lets go shopping!

Pregnancy Support Pillow

Picture from Amazon. Available on Amazon – http://amzn.to/2FPdrwE

Picture from Amazon. Available to buy on Amazon – http://amzn.to/2phc6aQ

There are so many to choose from and I did have one of these before which became a necessity for me in the later months of pregnancy. I sleep on my tummy and I know that soon I’m going to have to switch onto my side. The best position for sleeping when pregnant is on your left side with legs bent and a pillow between them. Having a proper pregnancy pillow can also support your growing bump and back too. I had a sort of triangle support pillow during my pregnancy with Evie which I could then go on to use as a breastfeeding support pillow and that really helped! I really like the long snuggle one which I think would give excellent support due to me being overweight as well as being a great support with breastfeeding when the baby is here with us. There are lots of great pregnancy support pillows available ranging in size, length and style. Some have built in dips for back support, some are designed just for support between your legs and some are brilliant for added neck support or lifting your legs. You will find one that is best for you and your needs but it is absolutely an essential for me.

Maternity Bras

Image from Figleaves – HOTMILK Eclipse Full Cup Non Wired Nursing Bra

I’m currently measuring at a 42G so maternity bras are going to be an absolute essential for me. I actually miss nursing bras, they were so comfortable however with a bigger size comes a bigger price. Colour is not really going to bother me but comfort is key. I need wide straps for good support and preferably I want to ditch the underwire. They always end up jabbing me in the side boob anyway after a few wears so lets just be done with it. For those that don’t need such a massive size then the usual places like Mothercare have some great options. Luckily Figleaves have loads of fantastic maternity and nursing bras between £30-£54 for my size and I’m hoping to use them to grab my maternity and nursing bras a little later down the line. My boobs have actually been quite tender this pregnancy and incredibly sensitive which is not something I really remember during my last pregnancy and not something I’ve ever suffered with during my periods. I think a good, cotton, wire free support bra is going to help this.

Image from Figleaves – ANITA Comfort Jana Cotton Support Bra

I am not really too bothered about colour either. Black, white or nude seem to be the standard for my size so I’m pretty happy with the choices. As I said, comfort is key. It’s a good idea to go and get yourself measured. You can do this yourself at home or you can go into store. The best time to measure for a nursing bra is around 8 months pregnant.

Maternity Swimwear

I am hoping to go to lots of Aqua Fit and Aqua Bumps classes for as long as I feel able to. I want to do this to help me try and loose some body fat, avoid putting on too much weight and to help reduce any strain. I love swimming, always have, and I really should continue to make good use of my gym membership! For the meantime I have got myself a size 22 Swimdress from George at Asda however as time goes on I think I will look into a maternity swimsuit to accommodate for a growing bump. My problem is that the majority of these swimsuits are halter neck tops which is just not suitable for my breasts. Halter necks never give me enough support and I’m always at risk of popping out. Not something you want during aqua fit. So far the best find is online at Asda and is available in my size and is a lovely dark blue, polka dot swimsuit available in sizes up to 26. I’m hoping to get myself this soon before it disappears never to be seen again. I like the blue polka dots, I like that it’s in my size and the swim dress just makes it a bit more flattering.

Available At Asda for £18 – http://tidd.ly/b0a43284

Maternity Clothes

With my last pregnancy I didn’t really have any maternity clothes. I just wore the same stuff in a bigger size. I think that’s the thing with being overweight, you don’t really have a noticeable bump for a really long time. I do, however, want to find some decent maternity leggings and a few long tops or jersey dresses. I am absolutely a leggings and a dress kind of woman and luckily these seem to be available year round so I’m not too worried about finding something to wear. A lot of women I have spoken to swear my maternity jeans and how comfortable they are.

Pregnancy Journal & Baby Record Book

I sadly lost my baby book I kept during pregnancy and in Evie’s early days due to moving away so I really want to try and document as much as I can through my pregnancy in the book and the baby’s first milestones. I’m so glad I have this blog to do that too and write down all my thoughts and feelings – hopefully helping others who are pregnant too. Adam and I actually got this one quite a while ago and it’s been in storage since. It was nice to pull it out and finally start using it. I believe I picked this up from The Works in my local town one day whilst browsing.

Pregnancy and Motherhood Reading List

I do love a good book and a good read. I’m currently looking for books on Pregnancy Yoga, Hypnobirthing and I’d like to find something on Breastfeeding too. Any recommendations for any of those are really very welcome. Here is what I’ve found so far and what I’m currently reading:
<br />

This just never gets old! A funny take on pregnancy and parenting which I absolutely love.
<br />
I am really being drawn in to Hypnobirthing and mindfullness. I’m really hoping I can have a VBAC providing there are no issues throughout the pregnancy and this baby doesn’t wait until they are so overdue. Whatever the decision though I want to try and put these exercises in place to have as best birth I can whether that is through VBAC or Elective C-Section.

Right now I think they’re the essentials I would like to pick up throughout this pregnancy. I do have another list of things I’d love to have for the new baby and I’ll put that list together a little later down the line. We’ve got a bit of decluttering to do in the flat before we get any of the big baby stuff and we need to move our bedroom around a bit to fit in a cot. I am desperate for a Next to Me style Cot because they look great and are supposed to help a lot with breastfeeding. I also think it’s the only one we will be able to fit in our room! A full size cot would just be too big for us, so I think we’ll have to move before we make that purchase.

For more pregnancy content please head to my hub post which contains links to all my relevant pregnancy based blog posts. My second High Bmi Pregnancy.
March 22, 2018