I don’t think there is every really the correct time to introduce your new baby to your family and friends but it’s something I am starting to think about a lot. When I had Evie I had a lot of visitors in hospital, more so when I got home and my ex inlaws actually turned up out of the blue one evening when she was around a week old to take her out for a walk. It was really overwhelming for me and has really got me quite stressed about people visiting when Baby F is born. It makes it tough because for Adam and his family it’s a first baby and whilst I appreciate everyone wants to meet and get to know him, no one is more excited about meeting him than I am. The one that’s felt his kicks from 16 weeks, that will be birthing him, hopefully as naturally as possible and will in those first few weeks be attempting to establish breastfeeding. With all those hormones and trying to develop our bond with our new baby we have decided that we want to limit family and friends visits in those first few weeks.
My priority in those first few weeks will be getting Evie to and from school and feeding Baby F. That means my house will be a mess, I’ll be having midwives and health visitors and doctors appointments coming out of my ears, Adam will be starting University and Evangeline will be adjusting to life with a tired mum and a new baby brother. It’s a huge change for our family dynamic and I know that our time together is really important especially as Adam will only have his two weeks paternity leave. With all that new babies don’t actually like being passed around different people all the time and he is going to need to get used to our noises and smells and family life pretty quickly. Having too many visitors is just going to be way to overwhelming for us, let alone for a little baby.
I think it’s really important to be clear with friends and family and ask them to respect your privacy and ask to come over rather than just popping in. I know we won’t really have a problem with this as people never just turn up to visit us anyway and I know our friends will wait until invited to come and meet Baby F. I know I feel really uncomfortable with the idea of anyone visiting me in hospital, especially if I end up with another c-section because it’s a big surgery to recover from. Evie is also the most important person and, after myself and Adam, she needs to be the first person to meet Baby F from our family. This of course will be really difficult if we do end up with a hospital birth as neither of us can drive so will have to rely on family or friends to take us home.
I think it’s just important to remember that a new baby is exciting but to the parents it’s something they’ve been waiting for for a very long time. Privacy needs to be respected in these times and visits should be as long as it takes to drink a cuppa – and expect to make it yourself too!