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#TheModernMarriage – What does Marriage Really Mean Today?
This is a collaborative post.

When I was around 7, my parents divorced. It was pretty uncommon when I was still that young but it happened. Most of my friends parents were still together, most of my family were still together. I was shocked and it kind of stopped my belief that marriage is forever. In fact now, I’m here at 28 years old with a child, never married and not with her father but in a happy, committed and loving long term relationship. I have a lot of friends who have been single parents, second time marriages or are going through divorces. #TheModernMarriage really does look into all the different styles of families we have in today’s society.

I’ve never really seen marriage as a romantic notion. Perhaps that’s because of my parents divorce. I do like the idea of marriage and I want to be a married women…one day…but not because I hold traditional values but honestly because I feel I just want that partnership. I also see marriage as a way of gaining tax relief and an easier way of getting a mortgage. I see marriage as a contract between two people to agree that they will create a life together, live in compromise and reduce a bit of the general stress on life with each other.

I know Adam and I will be a great partnership, because we already are. Traditions these days are so different to how they used to be. We’ve been living together for four years, raising a family together and sharing in the household finances. Isn’t that really what a marriage is all about? When we do decide to get married it won’t be a big affair, I’ll be looking to do something quick, easy and simple. I’ll be looking to create a lovely day full of happy memories for us but I won’t be going all out. We are both opposed to religious ceremonies and spending a lot of money because to us, it just isn’t practical. I also think that as we’ve lived and been together for quite a while, there won’t be any suprises after we’re married. We’ve already got to know each other’s bad habits, we’ve had the arguments and we’ve made hard decisions together. We are already a partnership and marriage won’t change that but I do think it will make us feel like a stronger family unit.

Here comes the stats…

Slater & Gordon recently carried out a survey to find out what the modern face of marriage really is and the results are in…
- 69% of people believe the biggest benefit to marriage is the commitment to a relationship…
- …whilst 42% see increased financial security as the main benefit.
- 53% of those surveyed believe they would (or did) choose a civil ceremony as opposed to a religious one.
- Out of all those surveyed, 54% of people have experienced a close family member getting divorced.
- 23% of people have been divorced themselves.
- 69% of people believe there is less pressure to get married compared to 10 years ago.
June 27, 2017
A Change in British Politics
Like many, I have taken a real interest in British politics over the last few weeks. I have never thought of myself to be a person that is politically savvy. I’ve been old enough to vote in three general elections and the EU referendum although I’ve only ever voted in three of these occassions. I wrote a post about my feelings on Brexit last year as a remainer. I voted to remain and I accept the decision was not in my favour. I’m not hateful or bitter about the decision and all I can hope for now is a fair Brexit whenever that actually happens.

I also made it pretty clear that I was voting Labour in the recent election. I have no problems sharing my voting choice or political position, in fact, if anything this election has really made me think a lot about who I am as a person, what my principles are and what I want to be known to stand for. I accept that as a Labour voter, we lost the general election. I know, I stayed up all night watching the results come in and I celebrated each Labour seat taken. I had predicted a hung parliament around a week or so before the election took place so I kind of knew what to expect.

What I didn’t expect was a demand and supply agreement with the DUP and I am pretty sure most Conservative voters also didn’t vote for the result. I’ve also read a lot in the run up and aftermath of how, again, some voters are attacking those that voted differently, just like they did with Brexit. I am just sitting her quietly on a Sunday afternoon with my family, thinking about the future and the changes that might take place over the next few months positive that political reform is on the brink. We have cried out for a change in British politics over the last year. There have also been a lot of personal attacks from both sides of the fence which are unacceptable and inexcusable.
1. Saying Labour Voters don’t work and scrounge of the system.
  I saw family members share this across my social media and it really angered me. Mainly because we are Labour voters and we earn a living. I have also rejected benefits because I think the system is flawed. My partner works full time, and I work from home for sometimes many more hours than I would in an office job. A particular meme that went along the lines of “Labour voters turnout will be high until 5pm when the Tory voters come out of work.” How dare you make that assumption. There are Labour voters in university, in apprenticeships, in paid employment with zero hour contracts and you have the audacity to generalise them as non working benefit scum? I know of many Conservative voters who are not in paid employment and voted Tory for their own reasons. That is completely fine, voting for your chosen party is a personal choice but these sweeping generalisations are not funny and are unfair.
  
  It goes along with saying Labour voters are just spending all the tax payers money and with the cuts the Tories have put in to out of work benefits, that simply isn’t true.
2. The whole IRA terrorist sympathiser and therefore every Labour voter is a terrorist sympathiser too.
  Yep, I saw this one being passed around too a lot. Terrorism is inexcusable but the only person or group to blame, are the terrorists. The only thing politicians can do is attempt to keep peace. They can do this by funding the police. I have to admit, I’m a bit young to have felt the full force of what happened in Northern Ireland during the seventies and eighties. However, what really frustrates me is after all the smear campagin attempts through the tabloids (seriously, who reads these and believe them to be true?) which blasted this in people’s faces every single day and then we have a government formed with the DUP. I really don’t get it.
  
  3. This election is all about Brexit.
  No.
  Every single general election is about who will be prime minister and form a government for the next five years. The EU referendum was about Brexit, the snap election was about who will lead. It angers me when politicians assume the electorate are stupid and that is exactly what happened. Whilst I agree that a general election was unshakably the right thing to do, it was done for the wrong reasons. Part of me can’t help but feel a little sorry for Theresa May because I feel like she has a lot of bad eggs advising her on what she should be doing which has lead to so many U-Turn decisions. I want to celebrate a female Prime Minister but mostly, I want to celebrate the best person for the job and in this case I don’t think she was the right candidate. It frustrates me that she was a firm remain voter for Brexit and has decided that the public want a hard Brexit. We are a country divided right now and whilst the majority may have been with the Leave campaign, there were still a lot of people that voted remain. With such a small majority I don’t understand why that lead to the decision of a hard Brexit. Fair enough, good negotiations are needed with balanced, reasonable and functional arguments put forward. As far as I’m concerned there were just Leave or Remain on the EU ballot paper, not “And if so…would you like a hard or soft Brexit?”
  
  It makes leaving the EU sound like cooking an egg. Frankly, leaving the EU is a bit scrambled at the moment if you ask me.
I don’t know what the future holds but I am confident we will see another general election before it’s time. However, I think we should celebrate a few wonderful things about the last eight weeks or so.
1. Turnout was high. Some constituencies saw record numbers which is fantastic. However you vote, the fact that you turned up and had your say was amazing.
2. Young people are getting interested in politics. I was so proud of the arguments both my sisters had for voting the way they did. I wish politics came into school at a younger age because we do live in a democracy and every voice is important. I hope this turns politics back into everyone’s game rather than the 35+ electorate.
3. We finally found out the naughtiest thing Teresa May has ever done which has actually been a highlight for every single voter.
June 11, 2017
Dear Undecided Voter

Dear Undecided Voter,

Our next general election takes place in one week, on Thursday 8th June. If you have registered to vote, you’ve probably received your polling card by now and you know where to go. Voting is not hard, complex or scary. It’s made simple for you. You may have voted before, you might not have. I am not going to tell you who you should vote for. It is a personal decision and its important you cast your vote on the things that mean the most to you. If you are thinking of voting opposite me, I will not tell you that you are wrong. We may disagree, and that is fine. But I would like to tell you the reasons why I intend to vote Labour.

You see, I hear all these stories saying to vote tactically if you want the Conservatives out. I hear in my constituency I should vote for the Liberal Democrats. I live in a constituency that has, for all of time, been conservative lead. I live in an affluent area in the South East were the commute to London is easy (and expensive) and where house prices are high. But I can’t vote for a party that I don’t agree with which is why I can not vote for the Conservatives and I can not vote for the Liberal Democrats. Brexit has been voted on, I am not interested in negotiating with the EU and then having another vote to say whether those terms. I was a remain voter, I have accepted the result and feel we need to move forward with it now. If there was another vote, a vote on the terms, I just wouldn’t bother to go.

But I will go to the polling station for our general election because this vote is not about Brexit. It is about who will govern our country for the next five years and no manifesto has ever made me feel so positive about the future. Brexit is, of course, going to be a part of it and I want it to be a Labour lead Brexit because I want to protect our human and workers rights. I do not understand the free tarriff becuase I am not in the manufacturing business but I appreciate this is an issue for some.

I will vote Labour because I know they will protect our NHS.
I will vote Labour because free school meals should not be abolished for infant schools.
I will vote Labour because I believe that nationalised services like rail and energy will save everyone money.
I will vote Labour because my partner has been on minimum wage in his job for five years. He earns £7.50 an hour to support two other people. We do not receive any form of working or child tax credits (more because they are a pain to deal with) and because he deserves to get a living wage rate of pay.
I will vote Labour so my partner can retrain if he needs to so that he can increase his wages without paying massive fees and landing us in even more debt.
I will vote Labour because I feel inspired by Jeremy Corbyn. That may not be a popular opinion but I enjoy hearing him speak and how passionate and caring he comes across.
I will vote Labour because zero hour contracts are an awful thing and should be banned.
I will vote Labour because I think men should be allowed four weeks paternity pay. Two weeks off with your child is not enough time to adjust.
I will vote Labour because I think 6 and 7 year olds are tested unnecessarily and that should be stopped. More pressure does not need to be on our teachers and infant school pupils who still care more about playing than phonetically spelling 40 words.

All of these points, I genuinely believe will be better for everyone.

With this last week left before we vote do your research. Read the manifestos, speak to people, ask why they are voting for who they are voting for. Get those conversations started. Think of the NHS, the strain on nurses and doctors, long waiting times, no beds…think of our Education service, all those school collections and fundraising days. Think of our future and the future you would like your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to have.

Please vote.

June 1, 2017
Why I Don’t Believe in MLM Anymore

I’ve wanted to write this MLM based opinion post for some time now but I’ve been a bit wary. People will take offence to my opinion, particularly as I’ve been in that industry, and that’s fine. I feel like it’s important to write though, and I feel there should always be two sides to every story. I also feel like I want this to be an honest and open place. I want people to be informed and I think that means you have to read the positive and the negative surrounding an issue. I also feel like by not publishing this I’m lying to my audience and my readers. I don’t have faith in the MLM industry, and I want to share my reasons why. I’m not the only one that feels like this either. There is a really interesting Netflix documentary Betting on Zero and I recommend reading Forever You HerbalScents by Whinge Whinge Wine and the very informative article on Talented Ladies Business Club: Thinking of joining an MLM? The Motherload also share their views on why they feel its a Cult for Mums. My point is your choice is your choice but you need to make an informed decision and that comes with knowing all the facts, including the negative.

A few years ago I was walking through town with my nine month baby and approached by an Avon lady asking if I’d like to sign up. I hadn’t earned my own money for over a year due to starting University and then getting pregnant at 20. I was in a bit of a rut, vulnerable, and the lady was quite nice so I signed up. Looking back now, it didn’t work. It was never going to work because I am very lazy. I handed out a few brochures to family and friends, I had a few calls, I recruited a few team members and got a few bonuses and then it all just fizzled out and I couldn’t be bothered with it. Since then I’ve realised I’m a much better Avon customer than I am seller.

So I tried something new. I became and Ann Summers Party Planner. I actually did really well with that in sales. I recruited a few team members, I got a lot of incentives and I met a lot of really fun people. Actually, joining Ann Summers really made me reflect on the life I was living at home. I was seeing all these fun loving women who worked, had happy and healthy relationships with friends and family. Their partners weren’t aggressive, toxic to be around and hard to live with. I do believe things happen for a reason and it was while I was working as a party planner that I left my toxic relationship and moved back home close to my family. I became a single mum, lived far away and I couldn’t really continue what I was doing as a party planner living in a hostel. But I did make money there and I did have fun.

To this day I don’t really have an issue with party plan companies because the focus is on parties and selling rather than recruiting. I also like these businesses that have a retail outlet, it gives you more options, a choice where to buy and it just seems more stable. No, I don’t think that’s hypocritical of me, every business has competition and sometimes a retail store is a really good competitor. I am all for giving consumers as much of a choice as possible.

Fast forward to 2014, I was working full time but I was going to be made redundant and wasn’t really sure what to do. I kept seeing all these ads everywhere for a Clean 9 weightloss system – and yes, in those days, it was totally advertised as weight loss. I was sucked right into it all because I was worried about losing my job. I was vulnerable again…do you see a bit of a pattern here? Anyway, I signed up with promises of holidays, financial freedom, amazing incentives just for selling Aloe based products.

Products that are expensive. Products that gave me and my lifestyle absolutely no benefit. Products that were a really hard sell. This didn’t give me financial freedom, it lead me getting into more debt which was the opposite of what I actually wanted. Instead of financial freedom I had bills to pay, I was alienating friends, I was getting abusive messages and I was losing people. People didn’t want to spend time with me because they didn’t want me to try and sell them stuff. I am also an awful seller. I can’t persevere, I can’t follow up and I can’t really recommend things that I don’t truly believe in. I should have stopped there but instead I tried other companies, with no success. Small sales, no team members and no money.

There are a lot of people I know that make a lot of money in multi level marketing but I can’t help feeling some of that is through exploitation. Telling mums that they shouldn’t feel guilty anymore because they’re not at home with the kids. Those mums might not want to be stay at home mums, they might not want to work around their babies, they might not have a problem with the 9-5, they might not want to be their own boss. These days more people are looking for ways to boost their income but I personally can’t recommend MLM as a great way to do this.

Firstly, I think to sell well you need a lot of friends with disposable income or that already buy high end products. Secondly, you need to be comfortable with pretty much telling lies to vulnerable people. I know this, because I have had to try and do this. It doesn’t make me proud of this industry, it just makes me very wary. The people at the top, I just don’t really trust them and they don’t have time for the people at the bottom that are struggling. It isn’t a easy way to earn money but it can be a really easy way to piss people off.

I’m not interested in the comments that say “well you didn’t try very hard, everyone starts at the same place and can get the same success.” I did everything I was told to. I Pm’d you hun, I sent stupid messages to old school friends with a script, I worked on my mindset, I read all the networking books, I got myself out and about, I showcased a lifestyle (a massive lie of a lifestyle back then) and I tried to arrange online and home based parties.

These days, I’ll happily say I am with The Body Shop at Home because I want a personal discount and I’m happy to share catalogues with family and friends because guess what? They already buy there. I’m not interested in making people sign up. I’m not interested in earning money through MLM aggressive prospecting because I don’t feel that sits right with my principles. I don’t feel MLM business practice is ethical. Sure, I might sell a product here and there for a bit of commission, but I do that on my blog with affiliate marketing anyway. The difference is, my income doesn’t depend on you buying things from this website. Sure it’s nice and yes, I would love to earn more affiliate commissions but I don’t have to pressure or bully anyone into it these days.

To clarify, I do have some friends who are network marketers and they have become really good friends. They don’t make me feel alienated, they are supportive and welcoming people, they treat their business, customers, team members and prospects with respect. They don’t use bullying tactics to make you sign up, aggressively try to recruit you and they are successful people. I think that is brilliant, and I will celebrate their achievements with them. But MLM will never be something I seek out again.

I received a lot of help thanks to female entrepreneur week and I wanted to give back to my readers. I’ve created an awesome 5 Day Free Business Booster Challenge and I’d love to see you there. It’s a five day business e-course that will help you create an actionable 90 day plan for your business and includes an awesome workbook. If you’re looking to look money online you can check out my guide to boosting your income here.

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May 27, 2017
Our Stay at Withyslade Farm Cottages, Tisbury

Accomodation in Tisbury – Withyslade Cottages

Withyslade Farm Cottages in Tisbury offer three lovely self catering cottages suitable for families or small groups of friends to enjoy a peaceful break in beautiful surroundings. We booked our weekend away as a result of needing to get out of town, have a bit of a refresh and just enjoy some peace and quiet. Withyslade Cottages offered all of this. We made our booking through booking.com a couple of weeks ago and have been so excited in the run up to ourweek away.

Our Luxury Cottage at Withyslade

It really was a beautiful and luxury cottage situated on the beautiful Withyslade Farm in Tisbury, Wiltshire. It is located close to Salisbury and Stone henge so a fantastic choice for those looking for accomodation in the South. Our cottage could very comfortably sleep five with the two bedrooms, spacious kitchen and comfortable sitting area. I was so impressed with the cleanliness, space and fresh decor available. WiFi is complimentary and available in each cottage. Complimentary bottles of water were by each bedside.

The luxury Wiltshire cottage was self catering and had all the amenities of a kitchen you’d expect including an electric oven, hob, fridge, toaster and lots of storage space. There were plenty of lovely big mugs, glasses and plates for all of us and a few cooking utensils. Plenty of tea, coffee and hot chocolate is available with a nice big kettle. It was lovely waking up in the morning, enjoying the view and having a big mug of hot coffee. Our cottage didn’t have a microwave but this didn’t affect our cooking.

The sitting area has two comfortable sofas and a chair. The television is flat screen and has a great range of freeview channels available. We found the cottage to be comfortable, light and airy. We didn’t use the heating throughout our stay because it was a very comfortable temperature and opening up a few windows cooled the place down quickly.

We had two large bedrooms, one with a twin set up and another with a double and single bed. This would be an ideal family room. There are plenty of places to store clothes, mirrors, chairs and dressing tables upstairs. The beds were very comfy and cosy with fresh linen, extra pillows and curtains that kept out the daylight.

The lighting throughout the cottage is just right for the size and very modern.

The bathroom features a bath and lovely hot shower with complimentary toiletries. There is only one toilet in this particular property but we didn’t see this to be an issue.

Our Stay at Withyslade Cottage

We had a fantastic time. We were greeted upon arrival around 8.30pm by the owners who were welcoming and friendly. We were shown to our cottage and told we were welcome to walk around the farm and which of the animals to avoid. Being on a farm there are horses, sheep and dogs around so pets are not welcome and children might wish to be warned prior to visiting if they are scared of any animals.

My daughter would have absolutely loved this stay. There was a cute yet cheeky little dog named Daisy that came in to see us a few times during our stay for a good stroke and I know Evie would have loved her.

We did take the chance to walk around the grounds and say hello to some of the horses. We walked up into the forest at the top which was full of gorgeous bluebells. We also had a walk through a large field and found an abandoned building which was a little spooky.

There are no shops on site so it’s easier to take everything with you if you do not intend on leaving. We wanted to make the most of being a bit out of the way and in the country so we didn’t feel the need to leave. It truly was a beautiful visit and a place I would happily visit time and time again. What’s really great about staying out in the country is how it can make a great base for walking holidays. Travelling around on foot is a great way to see a bit more of our gorgeous countryside. I loved this post from Birds and Lillies about walking holidays and some fabulous recommendations.

Our trip has made me so excited for our next holiday in July!

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May 21, 2017