Candyfloss & Dreams

Author: Kat Candyfloss

  • Top 7 Things To Organise For Your First Couples Holiday

    Collaborative post

    Photo by Asad Photo Maldives from Pexels

    So you’ve decided to go on your first holiday together as a couple. A scary but exciting time, there are certain things that you need to organise in advance and keep in mind while you’re away. A time when you’ll see your partner in a new light and spend every moment with them, it’s important that head off on your getaway with optimistic thoughts.

    A big step to take, you want your holiday to be unforgettable – no matter where you’re planning on going. To help you through this process, below are the top 7 things that you should prepare ahead of your holiday:

    Research Destinations 

    No longer will you book a holiday that’s just to your taste – now you have to have your partner’s opinions and preferences in mind. When booking your first holiday, it’s a good idea to sit down together and go through several options, comparing and contrasting them based on price.

    Not many new couples will opt for a destination that’s far away – simply a few hours on the plane or less. However, this will depend, of course, on each couple’s tastes. With so many luxury adult-only holidays and couple-friendly destinations out there, you’re bound to find one that you both love. You’ll find lots of great options in the countryside if you want to enjoy nature and the tranquility that comes with it. If that’s the case, you might want to consider holidays in Hampshire or Dorset, for example.

    Look At Hotels/Airbnb’s

    Once you’ve both set your mind on a destination, it’s time to look at hotels and other accommodation options. 

    As it’s your first holiday away, there’s no doubt that you will want a nice place to stay. But it doesn’t have to cost you the world. So before you book, make sure you research the various options available in the location.

    By compromising and gaging each other’s opinions, you’ll get a good idea as to which hotel, Airbnb, etc. is the most suitable for your getaway. Do you want a pool? Are you both gym enthusiasts? Do you want accommodation which is next to the city centre? All of these things should be considered throughout this stage.

    Book Your Flight

    When you’ve got your hotel in check, start to look at different flight options. By using airline’s websites and comparison sites such as Skyscanner, you’ll be able to find flights that fit within your budget. Ensuring that they are at reasonable times and at the appropriate airports for your destinations, this is a crucial step that needs your attention.

    When booking a flight, you also need to ensure that the outbound airport is within easy reach of both of your houses and that you’re aware of how you’ll get there on the day.

    Look at Exciting Experiences 

    This is where the dreaded word ‘compromise’ once more comes into play. As a new couple, you’re still at the stage that involves finding experiences that you both enjoy – and the same applies to a getaway. When researching the destination, look at what experiences it has to offer.

    Do you both like adrenaline activities? Then why not book a parasailing experience. Prefer to relax and unwind? Then see if there is a spa nearby. During this stage, you want to find a destination that has a bit of everything – to ensure that you both have the best holiday possible.

    Search for Restaurants, Cafes and Bars

    Ok, so this might also be done in the research stage, but it’s nonetheless important to mention. Before getting to your destination, consider researching what restaurants, cafes and bars are on offer nearby. There’s no worse feeling than arriving at a destination and realising that it has no amenities within easy reach – especially when you’re on your first holiday together.

    So to ensure that this doesn’t happen, do some research beforehand. By listing various options and making reservations, you will have the peace of mind that everything is organised ahead of time. 

    As with all of the other options, however, it’s worth sitting down with your partner and comparing the offerings before reserving anything – it’s both of your holidays after all. 

    Sort Out Travel Money 

    When heading off on your holiday you need travel money to fund meals out, activities, souvenirs, etc. But this can seem like an extremely daunting prospect when it’s your first holiday away. So to ease the stress, consider budgeting out the money in advance, seeing how much you should both need. 

    As mentioned below, it’s a good idea to both exchange the same amount of money if possible – to save for any awkward paying situations. Even if your partner treats you at home, it’s worth splitting everything so that you both know that you’ve contributed to the costs whilst you’re away.

    Arrange Travel Insurance 

    Even though this might seem awkward to arrange at first, it’s a vital stage in the process. By looking online at different providers you can compare different quotes for travel insurance – paying attention to whether they cover things such as 24/7 emergency assistance, cancellation, delays, pre-existing medical conditions, etc. 

    Once you’ve typed in how long you need the insurance for, as well as how much cover you require, you’ll be able to find various options. Alternatively, you can use a single provider – such as insure4less. 

    What to Remember When You’re Away

    Your holiday is fast approaching. And whilst sharing every moment with your new partner is exciting, there are certain things that you need to remember when you’re away. 

    It’s your first holiday, after all – so you want to both enjoy yourselves whilst knowing that you aren’t expecting too much from one another. 

    Don’t Demand High Standards

    It’s a fact of life that people will act differently on holiday; away from their everyday setting, it’s their time to relax, unwind and explore a new place. So when you head off, don’t demand high standards from your partner. 

    With the expectation that you’ll talk all the time and have fun every moment you both won’t enjoy your holiday to the fullest. So it’s worth sitting back and managing your expectations before you get there. 

    Don’t Fill The Schedule 

    Even though during your first holiday you want to see and do as much as possible, it won’t make the holiday enjoyable. So instead of filling your schedule with activities, plan days that have a bit of relaxation and experiences. By splitting the holiday in this way, you’ll be able to have a fantastic holiday, without feeling that you’ve not had any time to unwind. 

    A tight schedule might also cause one of you to get frustrated, resulting in negative vibes between you. So to prevent this from happening, try and go with the flow and experience the destination in a way that you both enjoy.

    Take Care of Each Other 

    When you’re away, there’s a chance that one of you might get ill. Whether it’s with food poisoning or another illness, it’s important that you look after each other and to realise that your partner is only human. Now, this might seem like the obvious thing to do, but it’s worth a mention. 

    To ensure that you’re both prepared for any sickness, it’s advisable to purchase medications before your getaway. 

    Spend Time Alone As A Couple

    During your first holiday, it’s essential that you spend quality time together. From a romantic meal to a river cruise or another activity, it’s worth planning experiences that involve some alone time. 

    Split The Costs

    As aforementioned, it’s worth sorting out your budget and your money before you get to your destination. By splitting the costs, there will be no negative thoughts that one of you has spent more than the other. It’s an equal holiday, so you should both put some money into the ‘pot’ once you’ve exchanged it. 

    You can then have your own money that you can spend on any souvenirs whilst you’re away – without thinking that you or you’re partner has technically purchased them. 

    Limit The Alcohol

    When you’re on holiday, you might want a drink here and there. But to experience the destination to the full you don’t want to be drinking all of the time. It’s easy to head to the bar every night – especially if you’ve opted for an all-inclusive hotel. 

    However, if you drink every day, you’ll wake up each morning feeling groggy and in a bad mood. You’ll then not feel like exploring and could get in arguments with your partner – so nip this in the bud and try and limit your alcohol intake. 

    Relax!

    And now is perhaps the most vital thing to remember – relax! Yes, it’s scary to go away with someone new, but it doesn’t have to be full of stress and worry. It’s a holiday that you should both enjoy and experience together. Creating wonderful memories that you’ll never forget, it will be a learning curve. 

    A time to discover new things about each other, you will be able to go on your next holiday knowing what a holiday with them is like. Plus, if something doesn’t go to plan, you’ll recognise that this is just a fact of life – no holiday is perfect, but your first holiday together is certainly one to remember no matter what the outcome.

    Remember the Essentials

    You don’t want to arrive at your destination and discover you’ve forgotten the small but vital things that will keep you comfortable and hygienic during your trip. Remember to pack all the essentials you need, including your favourite moisturizer, organic cotton tampons, and any bedtime must-haves such as a face mask. If you’ve travelled somewhere humid, the temperature change can affect your skin, so you want to get ahead of this before it’s a problem. Likewise, you might not have easy access to everyday essentials, so it’s always worth bringing a backup set of hygiene products, just in case.


  • Signs it’s time refinish or replace your wood flooring

    Signs it’s time refinish or replace your wood flooring

    This is a collaborative post

    It’s no secret that wood flooring adds value to your home, and it’s easy to see why. It brings warmth and sophistication and plenty of character! Like anything worth having, it does require some maintenance and upkeep. Despite your beautiful wooden floors being very durable, over time damage can occur and the protective coat begins to wear away. 

    If your flooring is properly finished and all maintenance measures taken, then it can last a lifetime. However, it might be that you’ve moved into a new house with existing wood floors, or it really has been that long since you changed or refinished it. It will be obvious when your flooring needs some TLC, such as the obvious need for a sweep or a good mop. Here are some signs that it’s asking for a makeover…

    Water 

    If you’re familiar with the pros and cons of wood floors, then you’ll know that water is one of the main things that can cause damage. We all have it in our household and no matter what room you chose to lay your flooring in, it’s likely that some spillages will occur. 

    Of course, the best way to avoid this is to reduce the amount of water exposure it has and clear up anything as soon as possible. It can certainly cope with small amounts, but large spillages can cause irreversible damage.

    In worst cases, the wood maybe be buckling or warping which unfortunately means it needs to be replaced. This is why it is beneficial to keep a few planks after you install your flooring, so if the damage is restricted to a few planks then you can just swap them over. 

    However, in best cases water damage can sometimes just cause a stain, this can be eradicated with sanding it down. If your floors are water damaged however, make sure you get the bottom of the source of the water otherwise you’ll be fixing your floors over and over!

    Scratches and dents

    Unfortunately, scratches are inevitable on hardwood floors, especially in busy households. However, there are a few pointers that will tell you if it’s time to refinish. 

    If you have a lot of scratches spread over a wide area, it’s probably worth refinishing your whole floor, as opposed to swapping a few planks around.

    Some scratches can penetrate beyond the protective surface and into the wood. Sometimes, these types of scratches mean that the only thing to do is to replace your flooring. 

    Discolouration

    This is always an easy way to see if it’s time for a change. Over time, the protective finish will wear off, thus water damage, stains and scratches are more likely to occur, even just small spillages can start to become a danger where they wouldn’t have been before. When wood absorbs water, it oxidises and turns grey so as soon as you see grey floors, it’s time to do something about it! If you catch it quickly, then in most cases refinishing will do the job, however if left then the colouration can get worse and you’ll have no choice but to replace your floors. 

    Lots of natural light is something all homeowners want; the problem is that sun exposure can discolour your hardwood floors. Again, the only way to remove this is to refinish or replace your floors.

  • Learning About Politics Is Everyone’s Responsibility

    Learning About Politics Is Everyone’s Responsibility

    The results of the recent election are still right at the forefront of my mind. I was upset, disappointed, a bit shocked at the result. I expected another hung parliament as the country has been divided for so long or a small Conservative majority but it seems the main issue was Brexit. I am saddened, I feel a bit lost and a bit anxious about my future.

    One thing that really did get to me though, is the turnout figures. I’ve had a look at some statistics to get some figures about turnout in the 2019 general election. The amount of people eligible to vote in the election were 47,500,00 or there abouts. There were approximately 31,800,000 votes cast on the 12th December. That’s over 15 million people who were eligible to vote and just didn’t. Turnout was 67.3% which was less than the 2017 general election.

    Why did 15 million people not vote?

    Some of the excuses, and they are excuses, are I don’t understand politics or I don’t know who to vote for. I want to dig a little deeper into this because it’s really infuriating. Saying you don’t know who to vote for is tough because you may feel disillousioned by politicians, you might think they all lie and cheat, you might not have gotten the result you wanted in the past, or maybe you just hate all the candidates. Some people just couldn’t be bothered and I do not have time for those people.

    If you don’t know who to vote for, in terms of which party, and you have a bit of an ‘I’m alright, Jack’ attitude then you have to educate yourself. Just like you have to educate yourself if you don’t understand politics. If at the end of learning you still don’t know then you can still go and put an X in a box because voting really is that easy.

    If you’re truly happy with how things are, vote for the party in charge. If you don’t vote at all, then you’re basically saying “I’m happy with how things are.” and it’s like a vote for the party in charge anyway.
    If you’re not happy with how things are vote for the opposition.
    If you’re passionate about a particular cause, independence or referendum vote for a party most alligned with that.
    If you aren’t a fan of the options in Westminister of the main parties then vote for an independent candidate that might be standing.
    If you’re angry about everything then you can go and spoil your vote because spoiled votes are counted and, apparently, fed back.

    How can you educate yourself about poltics?

    1. You can read the manifestos launched when a general election is called
    2. You can visit the parties websites to find out more
    3. You can follow many politicans on social media to read their views and why they are a part of their party
    4. You can ask other people about politics
    5. You can seek education resources and try to learn about them in college or University if youre priviledged enough
    6. You can try and attend local rallies, hustings and meetings
    7. You can write to your MP and ask them about a view they old and why they voted for a particular cause
    8. You can join petitions for causes you care about
    9. You can join activisit movements
    10. You can read blog posts, like mine, like this one. They may have some bias from the position the person takes but you can still learn about movements that way
    11. You can watch Prime Ministers questions on television
    12. You can read about your local MP’s voting history
    13. You can join a political party and attend their conferences
    14. You can read a variety of articles in the press, again, these can come with bias so like posts like mine, it’s best to take everything with a pinch of salt. If you read a piece that is particularly positive about a particular party, try and find a negative piece to balance it, and vice versa.
    15. You can always ask questions

    The truth is politics is in everything and it’s really important. However, over the years it’s felt a bit taboo. In the past it wasn’t really talked about who people voted for because of anominity but with social media more people are openly discussing their views.

    It also isn’t taken seriously in education and it really should be. I think if Children learned more about our parlimentary process they would be more willing and passionate about voting in the future. It’s really important to learn about conflict theories that oppose the establishment because that’s how you make an informed decision.

    My blog is full of telling people to make balanced and informed decisions but you have to take responsibility for this. You have to seek information, have a desire to educate yourself and try and make the best choices for you as you possibly can.

    Living in an Echo Chamber

    This is where you seem to only associate with people that share the same views as you and this can sometimes be why people are upset with results from elections and referendems. What you say is constantly echoed back to you and you feel like you’re in a safe little bubble. Then big results shock you because you don’t see it coming. It’s a bit naive but also it’s a way of protecting yourself from what you feel might be the worst thing to happen.

    It also creates a support network so when you talk to each other you have a shared sadness and that can really help in a process of grieving which does happen. It isn’t about ignoring differing views but let’s be honest it’s easier to get on with people that share the similar views as you.

    Pushing an agenda

    This is what activists do, they push agendas. They aren’t trying to make copies of themselves or make everyone the same as them. Usually they’re trying to offer a different point of view, share an alternative way of live, educate others in social injustices and welfare issues, make a statement or a big change for the benefit of a group or just because they’re passionate about it.

    If you feel that someone is pushing their agenda on you then there are quite a few things you can do.

    1. Ask yourself why their opinion is making you feel uncomfortable
    2. Debate with them, in a productive way. Ask them why they support an agenda or movement, put your ideas across, talk to them about it.
    3. You don’t have to follow these people if you don’t want to. You don’t have to listen and you don’t have to be a part of the change they might want to make. However, they also don’t have to stop either. We always make a concious choice about what we want to speak about, listen to and ignore.
    4. If you are conflicting with each other, talking to each other will help strengthen your own position against other arguments in the future. When you debate something you’re passionate about you do start to form a rhetoric about it and you get better at explaining it the more you talk about it.

    Politics is in everything and affects everyone

    Feminism, Socialism, LGTBQ+, human rights, education, abortion rights, gender pay gap, veganism, animal cruelty, healthcare, social care, climate crisis – these are all big parts of our lives that we see frequently, they are all conflicting with the establishment, going against “the norm” and trying to find equality and balance. Parenting even gets political and competitive with how to feed your baby. There are ethical reasons for every movement and pretty much every decision

  • Recovery After A C-Section

    Recovery After A C-Section

    Recovery after birth is really important and I feel mothers sometimes feel a little bit neglected, overwhelmed and that they don’t have time to look after themselves. When all the adrenaline is out of the system you’re often left feeling all the hormones, increased so when your milk comes in and I feel if you’ve had a bit a traumatic experience during birth, a bit of guilt too. The phrase ‘to mother the mother’ often used by postnatal doula’s could not be more accurate to what a mother needs.

    I can not dismiss that after birth recovery is vital and important, however, I only have experience of recovering from a c-section delivery and therefore that is where my ‘expertise’ lie. I’ve had two sections, neither were planned and one was a lot more complicated than the other. I want to talk about some of the ways you can best assist your recovery after a c-section birth.

    If you know you’re going to have a c-section then a lot of these things can be prepared ahead of time, but if you are planning a vaginal birth but end up being induced, or having an unplanned or emergency (rare) c-section then some of these things might not have been considered so I’ll try and think of both scenarios for this post.

    Time Off Together

    2 weeks is not enough post c-section, try for 4 weeks with annual leave, or even better extend to six weeks with (unpaid) parental leave.

    Encourage the dad or your patner to take some time off work. I strongly advise considering an extended amount of time off if this is possible. The first thing you want to look into is paternity leave which does have some stipulations and can either be one or two weeks. This can start from a selected date or the day you give birth and needs to be, I believe, within 52 days of the birth. Then I would really look into taking a week or two annual leave after the paternity leave. Having a period of four weeks off to adapt to your new baby will take a lot of the pressure off mum to bounce back after having major abdominal surgery. It’s also really important for dad/the other parent to find their feet and place too without the pressure of getting back to work quickly.

    It is also worth looking into parental leave. It is unpaid but government backed therefore you can not be penalised for taking this time off. Parents are entitled to 18 weeks parental leave for each child (including adopted children) and you can take 4 weeks leave per child, per year. You must take it in week blocks and usually have to give around a month’s notice. It is unpaid so it is worth considering this if your funds are stretched or saving up during pregnancy to cover the amount of time off.

    Adam only actually ended up getting around 10 days off work because I was in hospital from Thursday – Sunday. He was starting a new job and University so the pressure to ‘bounce back’ was well and truly on me and it caused some severe anxiety attacks which really affected my self confidence and recovery. You can’t drive straight after a c-section, you’re barely sleeping and you’re adjusting to a newborn. If you have other children, like I did, I couldn’t even manage the school run once in a day and needed the next day to recover let alone doing it twice in a day. If Adam had had that extra time off work, I probably would have recovered faster because I wouldn’t have been so stressed.

    If you can’t take additional time off or unpaid parental leave

    1. Ask other family/friends for help with other children, school pick ups or looking after for an hour or two.
    2. If someone comes over ask them for help if you need something done or ask them to bring you food.
    3. Get a slow cooker and add lots of one handed, nutritious and filling snacks to your grocery shopping – and do it online to make it easier
    4. Do not feel you have to leave the house, ask friends and family to come to you.
    5. Consider hiring a cleaner in the late stages of pregnancy so they can help in those early newborn days.
    6. Just focus on you and baby. Your partner can deal with the housework before and after work and put a dinner in the slow cooker whilst you recover.

    Consider some hired help – this can come in many forms

    Hiring some help whilst you recover from a c-section is a priveledged thing to do and not everyone will have the chance to but if you can spare the cash then it can do your recovery wonders. Hiring a cleaner just to take care of some of the bigger jobs can really make a difference to keeping the home together whilst you focus on you and baby.

    You could look into a postnatal doula who are there to mother the mother. They are the advocates for postnatal self care. The postnatal fairy godmother if you will. Postnatal doula’s are self employed individuals and offer a variety of different options to help your recovery. They are experts in this field. They will be there to help look after baby so you can get that shower, some can help with baby wearing and breastfeeding. Many will offer to bring a homecooked meal and some offer to do some light cleaning to take a load off. They are also amazing emotional support and a fountain of knowledge. A postnatal doula will be a pro at helping a mother recover from a c-section.

    Recovery after a c-section usually takes around 6 weeks for the outer stitching to heal and 12 weeks for the inner stitching to heal. It is a long process. The most important thing is looking after you and your baby. The general advice is not to lift anything heavier than your baby and as your baby grows and gains, as will your strength. You do not owe it to anyone to bounce back.

  • Making a Rented House a Home with Personal Decor

    This is a collaborative post.

    When renting in the past I have often questioned how much decorating I am able to do. Some landlords are flexible and some are not however decor, in my eyes, is what makes a house a home. Decoration allows you to add a few personal touches to each room and really make it feel your own. It helps a house feel lived in. I think Landlords like to keep walls in particular clear so they can see any issues or damage should they need to make a claim on their landlords insurance.

    Potted plants can make a real change to a room if you want to add a bit of colour

    If you’re unable to paint the walls you might be able to use peel and stick adhesives which are easy to remove. There are all kinds of sizes which can add a personal touch to the home. Some are huge murals and some are more like posters. These can usually be peeled away from the wall without any kind of damage or residue left and it’s something worth considering. Another way of adding a bit of color to the walls could be applying posters with washi tape. I’ve found you can make a creative looking frame with washi tape which is very quick and easy to remove.

    If you’re unable to change the flooring or carpets then you can add some personal touches of decor easily with rugs. I find a rug can really change a room and make it feel warmer. Not to mention they’re easy to move if you need to as they can be rolled up and they’re quicker and easier to clean than carpet. There are plenty of places offering affordable rugs too. We recently got a good size rug for our living room for £20. We needed one as our floor in our living room is solid and can feel really cold in the winter as we have car parking underneath our building.

    Your personal style of furniture in each room can make a big difference to the decor

    Other options can be adding photos in photo frames around the home and having them laid out on bookshelves, the mantlepiece, desks and window sills. This then doesn’t damage the wall and you’re not limited to just having photos of family. You could consider framing some prints of artwork you like if you are looking to create a theme in a room.

    Other personal items such as candles, wax melts, reed diffusers and room sprays can make a huge difference to a room. If you’re not allowed to use candles then you can get electronic versions of wax melts. I find a scent can really help change a room too and make it feel more homely, especially if it’s a favourite one.

    Little items of decor like plants, books and ceramics can make a house feel more like a home

    Lastly when it comes to personalising bedrooms I find having colourful bedding can bring a neutral bedroom to life. I’ve seen a white room with bright rainbow bedding and it’s made a huge difference. Adding throws and cushions can also add plenty of personality to a room. You may be able to add your own curtains too or if the furniture is your own you could consider adding a bit of colour to it or upcycling something. When Adam moved in with us he brought a chest of drawers which we placed in Evie’s room and then I painted three of the drawers to give it a bit of colour and personality. She absolutely loved the effect it created.