Author: Kat Candyfloss

Collaborative post.

We all have our personal spaces that we want to keep smelling fresh from our homes, cars and offices. I wanted to share a few tips with you on how I keep my personal areas smelling and feeling fresh. 

Air Fresheners

When it comes to your personal spaces, such as your car, the most obvious way to keep it smelling fresh is by using an Air Freshener. There are loads of options and scents available. We have had our first family car for less than a year now and as Adam makes the most of it he usually choices the scent we use. I personally think in such a closed space scents like ‘fresh linen’ or ‘cotton’ work really well. I think neutral scents work really well just because the whole family travels in the car and I wouldn’t want anything too overwhelming for the children. It’s good to choose a scent that works well for everyone and you can find a range of Air Fresheners available online here ONLINEcarparts.co.uk

In the home I think we mostly use air fresheners in places like the bathroom where we don’t have a window. It’s very hard to get a bit of fresh air in the bathroom with no access to a window but that’s just one of the issues of living in a flat. In the bathroom I like scents that smell clean like citrus smells or pine. I know these scents can be quite strong and not being able to open a window when I’m cleaning the bathroom can make it a bit overwhelming so it’s something I’m mindful off and try to keep air freshener to a minimum. 

Cleaning

Obviously when you’ve got kids in the car every so often it’s going to need a good clean on the inside as well as the outside. A valeting service can do wonders for keeping the car smelling and feeling fresh every so often. In the home, as I said above, I like to use ‘clean’ smelling products. This can be done with a natural, made at home cleanser such as white vinegar, water and a few drops of essential oils. If you prefer just cleaning with water but want a change in the scent of the home then sometimes a drop or two of a natural scent or oil can make a huge difference. 

Fresh Air

I am getting into the habit of getting the windows open for a few minutes every day to help when I’m cleaning the home. Living in a flat with an entrance into a communal hallway means unless the windows are open, the air feels heavy and stagnant. Even in the winter when it’s cold opening the windows and getting some air into the home can really make a difference and actually really helps improve my mood too. It’s great because opening the windows costs nothing and if you do it whilst you’re active such as already cleaning or moving about then you won’t really feel the cold much anyway! It’s a bit harder to do in the car as you want to keep the cold and rain out but in the summer driving with the windows opening rather than the air con can feel so much better! 

So there are my tips for freshening up your personal space, do you have anything more to add?

no that won’t be the title i’m struggling to come up with one actually, any suggestions? anyway for those of you that don’t know i am writing a book about being fat and being pregnant. i’m writing it because as a fat pregnant woman the first time around i got all sorts of rubbish care from my health care providers, a horrible first birth, birth trauma, post natal depression and a general feeling of failure.

since then, having my second child, felix, i did a lot of research into being fat and pregnant and found that a lot of what i went through was absolutely rubbish, commonplace and that women, shock horror, have rights in pregnancy! rights!! rights to not be made to feel horrible because of their bmi. rights to be assertive, rights to refuse examinations, the right to birth at home if they want to regardless of risk!

the truth is, whilst there is a risk of certain issues with a high bmi, these risks can get layered on when you add more intervention. my aim with this book is for women, that have felt guilty or ashamed due to having a higher bmi when pregnant, to take back control. i want to help women make informed decisions about their pregnancy and post natal care. i want women to feel empowered and amazing about birth, and pregnancy. i mean i can’t do much about the physical stuff but maybe i can help give back a little bit of confidence.

so what do i want to do?

write a book about being pregnant with a high bmi providing a list of resources for additional support, additional information and collate birth stories for women to read so they can see how diverse birth is when you are a bigger woman.

how am i going to do it?

i am aiming to self publish my book by the end of march 2020. at the moment i am thinking and hoping it will be available by pdf download from my website, kindle/ebook and, hopefully, a physical copy too.

what do i need?

research – i’ve put together a quick survey to get some responses from women that had a high bmi during pregnancy. if this is you, please feel free to fill out the survey here. you can remain completely anon, you can opt in or out of being contacted after and it just asks about how you felt about having a high bmi and the type of birth you had.

here is the survey – https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/6327DSX

birth stories – i am including two of my own but i would love to collate around 10 or so other birth stories from other women/parents to show how diverse birth can be for bigger women/parents. preferably a couple of paragraphs with the following details

i’d like to know the name you wish to use or if you would like to remain anon, how/when/where (home, hospital) you gave birth, how you were treated, if there were any bmi related conditions that may/may not have lead to complications, if you had a birth plan and how you felt about birth after. most importantly i would really appreciate you answering the following question at the end of your birth story. did you struggle with birth trauma or post natal anxiety/depression after birth and do you feel that the way the birth happened/was handled affected your mental health in the post natal period?

help with proof reading/editing – if you’d be happy to give a few chapters a quick look over, pointing out any mistakes (spelling or grammar – don’t worry there will be capital letters unlike this blog post….) you don’t need to have an interest in the topic really just a passion for good writing and an enjoyment of reading non fiction. i can’t pay you, i’m poor, but i’ll be happy to send some chocolate your way.

reviews – i’d really appreciate some reviews of the book once it’s in it’s final stages and about to be published. i’ll send a pdf copy to you in exchange for a review. if you have somewhere to publish a review during the book launch that would be amazing but mostly i’m just looking for a few testimonials and feedback and a place to post reviews during the book launch. if you do have a blog, and you can and are interested in reviewing then i’d really appreciate it – i’ll do some shout outs and links back etc as a thank you, and probably send chocolate too.

people to buy it…i mean most of this is going to be down to little old me and trying to market my book to the right people. i’ll probably do an online book launch event, go live when the book goes live, update everyone constantly about the progress and of course give out a free copy to everyone that contributed a birth story as a thank you, and include you in the publishing acknowledgements if you are happy to be named. anyway if you do see me talking about this book and you know someone that it might help or someone experiencing a tough time during pregnancy then please do share the blog post, the book, a review, an image, buy them a copy i literally don’t know.

basically i’ve wanted to be an author all my life. i know that’s a cliche, i know every author probably says that. but with self publishing made so much easier everyone can do it these days and i want to be one of those everyones because i feel what i have to say is vital, important and could genuinely help so many people that felt as shitty as i did during my first pregnancy.

i was lucky during my second because i had hindsight, a loving supportive partner, an amazing doula and a really good community midwife team and obsetrician that let me try. more women need to know about aims, about rights, about being fat and pregnant and how just because you have a higher bmi does not reflect on you, is not guarenteed to lead to complications and in no way does it reflect on your ability to mother.

anyway, i’m very passionate about getting this book out there in the open and hopefully helping as many people as i possibly can. i’m not expecting it to make me millions and make me rich because it’s a pretty niche book but i hope that the more we talk about how bmi is not a reflection on health, how it shouldn’t be used to shame pregnant mothers, then maybe, just maybe, we might be able to see more positive birth stories. maybe we will increase research in bigger pregnant people, maybe we will get people talking and stop fat shaming in pregnancy.

also, please do my survey

https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/6327DSX

felix has some lovely, bright and colourful toys and as we are trying to be a bit more sustainable as a family i thought wooden ones would be more appropriate and it would help eliminate some of the plastic stuff we have in the home. melissa and doug toys are availalable through many retailers such as hello baby.

melissa and doug have a great range of wooden toys for babies and young children. i’m slowly starting to see more wooden toys in toy shops and online and melissa and doug are a brand i see very often. they’re always bright and colourful, have a range suitable for all ages and all types of play.

we selected a box of musical toys and a wooden pull along carousel for felix to play with. he’s still a little young, being almost sixteen months, but he has enjoyed playing with them – particularly making music! the music set came with a triangle, a wooden clapper, maracas, a set of sybols and a little tambourine. the maracas are his favourite and they’re a great set for evie to play with him too. they came in a nice little box making it easy to keep them all together.

the second toy was the wooden pull along carousel which rotates as you pull it along. i think it’s lovely and evie has often shown felix how to make it work which he likes to chase. mostly he likes to take all the wooden pieces off and pass them to me to build again, and repeat.

i am so happy to see a great range of innovative, fun, bright and colourful toys from the melissa and doug range which offer so much to children. it’s great to see things like the carosel which can be taken apart and put back together really easily. the horses are a good size for felix to hold himself and be able to put back together, he does like to give it a good go!

This is a collaborative post

When it comes to our kids, we struggle with so many decisions on their safety and security. It’s difficult to know what age they should do certain things or can have certain things, you may have really strong feelings about something, but then their friends are allowed to do things which they’re not, and it can make life very tricky indeed. So, when is the right age for your child to…

Go On A Sleepover?

The right age for a sleepover depends on your child and his maturity level, though generally, it’s in the range of 7 to 12 years old. If your child is used to having frequent sleepovers at grandparents’ homes or has travelled often with you, then they may like sleeping at a friend’s home. On the flip side, your child may be a creature of habit and need a lot of mental prep to change up their routine and be away from you overnight. Consider doing a trial run of sleeping over the house of a relative or close friend to help you assess whether your child will benefit from a sleepover or is too young. That way, they can see what a sleepover is like before having one at someone else’s home. 

Get A Smartphone Or Tablet?

These days, it seems like kids can use a smartphone or tablet as soon as they are born. Before they can walk and talk, children seem to know how to swipe up and down and left, and right and they know exactly what to do with your phone. Some can even use these devices better than adults. However, deciding what age your child can have one of their own is something of a controversial topic, some people give iPads to their one-year-olds, and some don’t let their kids touch a screen until age 14. However, according to the paediatrician, Dr Kulich most children are mature enough for a phone around 10 to 11 years old. There are plenty of arguments as to why mobile phones are important for education and you can’t ignore that your child is going to need to know how to use one, how to read on a screen and understand this technology to get by in this digital world. Before giving into yours, though, consider their level of maturity and ability to deal with these devices that give them instant access to the world. Go over the rules and expectations of using this technology. You may need firm limits on these devices and warn your kids about what makes texts and pictures inappropriate. 

Stay At Home Alone?

Staying home alone is a childhood rite of passage, however even if your child is the most well behaved, sensible, independent seven-year-old, there are laws about how old they can be before they are left alone in the house. Each country has different legal rules about kids being alone, and you also need to consider the characteristics of not only your child but the area where you live as well as how long you’ll be gone. To be home alone for just a few hours, your child should be about 13 or 14 and mature and comfortable enough to be left alone and able to follow the rules. Remember, though that just because their friends can be home alone doesn’t mean your kids are ready. All children are different and while some may be fine if you’re walking the dog for an hour in the afternoon, but they may not up to being alone while you’re out for dinner at a restaurant an hour away. Before you decide to leave your little darling at home alone, do a trial run; go for a wander locally, give them emergency contact numbers and go over first aid skills and meal instructions with them. Show them how to lock the door and tell them not to answer the doorbell if they don’t know who it is. While you are out, call them to check-in. When you get home, ask how they felt while you were away. For older children who want to stay at home alone overnight, just beware they may feel pressure from friends to throw a party. If you feel your kid won’t cave to peer pressure, go for it, and ask a neighbour or friend check in on them.

Walk To School Alone?

When deciding when kids can walk to school alone, consider their reasoning skills and ability to follow directions. Assess how far away the school is, your community, traffic, crossings and the weather. Is there an option for you to let your child walk to school in a small group? Either way, make sure you’ve done the route plenty of times together first and then sit down with your child and teach them how to protect themselves. 

Read Popular Young Adult Books?

If your kids are begging to read books such as Harry Potter, The Hunger Games or The Twilight Saga and you’re not sure, first of all, see what age the particular book is geared for. Harry Potter is aimed at 9 to 12-year-olds, and this works well as Harry is 11 in the first book and kids usually like to read about others who are around their age or a little older. These books are meant to be read one per year, as they were released and as children grow, as Harry is 17 in the last book and in his final year of school. So, as expected, each book in the series gets progressively darker. The first one is perfectly fine for an eight-year-old, but the last one isn’t, so you might want to wait until they are 11 or 12, depending on your child and his response to darker material. Try reading the books yourself first to see if you think your child is ready for it and if you’re not sure then why not read them together?

Get a Facebook Page Or Use Social Media?

At younger and younger ages, kids are asking to use social media. Consider following the terms of use for Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook—age 13 as this is the legal age limit on them anyway. You need to decide if your child is mature enough to understand how to use these sites and the dangers of them. Once they are active on social media, join the sites they’re for yourself, so you can get familiar with them, make friends or connect with your child and make sure that they have given you passwords and full access to their accounts. Make sure they know all their followers in real life and that they should tell you if anything strange or bad happens. 

Remember that every child is different; even your own are different from each other. So while you might have allowed one of them to stay home alone when they were 14, you may have another who still isn’t ready at 14. This is okay; it’s just important to speak to your children, be honest with them, tell them the reasons behind your decisions and also give them something to work towards. For example, if they are begging you for a phone and you are going to let them have one when they start secondary school, let them know this and also if there’s anything else they need to achieve before they can have it. There’s nothing like a new phone to give your kid some motivation.